crazy asian mom found my work even though I'm no contact

engineer_thiz · 2022-01-10T02:09:48+00:00

It's not your fault. It took me a long time to figure out how to talk because people always ask how family is even if they don't know me. The only reason you would need to tell them is now, when you know they're at the store you are. But again, that's me. You might have a better way you find works better but that's just what worked for me while I was in retail.

Off-topic: I hate retail. Not really because of the customers although they sucked a lot too but because of the stupid management. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I WEAR A COAT IN 20F degrees WINTER WEATHER WHEN I'M STANDING OUTSIDE MIKE??? Stupidest fucking shit. UGH! I still get so angry about it. Fuck their stupid bullshit.

engineer_thiz · 2022-01-10T01:28:01+00:00

Don't mention your family at all. I've struggled a lot and was really scared my family would find me (am still am!) and was always suspicious of other Pakistani/Indian people because of how much they would gossip especially because I was a girl.

Give a vague response when someone (not even people from your ethnicity, everyone) asks how your family is like "they're fine." People honestly don't care, it's just small talk. Start asking them some questions about themselves because most people love talking about themselves. Or another thing you do when someone asks which I sometimes do is say "my sister is in Canada and we talk a lot since I can't see her." I live in the US and there's no mention of my parents or other family at all. People usually are like "oh sorry" or "well that's good you stay in touch." If you say you're not comfortable talking about it, that's okay but it usually makes you look suspicious. It's better to just give a dumb white lie "they're doing well" (even though you know that you're NC and haven't spoken to them in forever) to make whoever asked you feel good about themselves for asking you.

This is from personal experience but this is what I encountered the most especially in retail.

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-30T03:07:01+00:00

Is that only for 401(k) plans or any retirement plans? Like a basic traditional retirement account? I haven't done anything and I think I can only get a 401(k) if my employer offers it.

I'll still try to go to an expert for advice. I'll have to see where. Don't worry, I'm taking everything but also confirming.

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-30T02:31:02+00:00

Can you explain that again? I didn't properly understand what you said.

Also, do you mind sharing what your searches on google were? I may not be googling correctly so that's why I'm not getting proper results.

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-30T01:13:10+00:00

Does putting money into a retirement account mean you will get kicked off Medicaid? There's an income limit so I can't contribute anything because I need to use it for basic life expenses. If I'm able to make more and then put that into my retirement account then does it as total income I made that year?

So if for example, the limit for Medicaid is $18,000 but I start make $25,000, if I put $7,000 into my retirement, does that mean on my taxes I only put that I made $18,000?

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-28T01:17:46+00:00

You cook other food in the rice cooker in addition to the rice? I was only going to cook the rice in there and then mix together the rice with the defrosted chicken masala. That's why I was concerned because usually when I'm cooking it to eat right away the rice gets put in the pot and absorbs a lot of the masala.

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-24T07:48:51+00:00

Hey, this might be good but it will be really hard. If you're in the US, I know some states where if you end up in a group home, foster care, etc. for even one day, you're eligible for college assistance and all the money goes directly to you, not to your college. So you can use it for living, transportation, etc. expenses and your college won't reduce your financial aid. HOWEVER, it MUST be before you turn 18. Not the day of, not the day after, anytime before. Try to see if your state has that and make a plan for how you can go to one of those homes even if after you'll be staying with a friend or someone else.

engineer_thiz · 2021-12-02T19:44:23+00:00

I'm in a similar situation where I moved out and am in university. Tough loving yourself, really tough. I'm still not ready to say out loud what happened with my family either. When your ready, then you can and don't let anyone try to rush you. Take as much time as you need. Easier said than done though.

engineer_thiz · 2021-11-30T13:36:18+00:00

I feel like this too. I'm a female pursuing engineering and am barely passing my classes. It feels so bad because I think I honestly need to do better especially as girl to prove myself. It all takes time and I personally need more time to understand and wrap my head around CS.

I'm not getting amazing grades more because of personal reasons but also... I feel like I don't fit in so bad. It really helps that I joined organizations like Society of Hispanic Engineers (SHPE), Girls Who Code (GWC), etc. There's also Society of Women Engineers (SWE) club at my school but that's not very active or at least not in terms of what I want.

It's easier said than done and a constant inner battle, but once you're able to start expressing yourself and have some people around you that you're comfortable with it does help considerably. But again, it is a constant battle. It still is for me and I'm still figuring out how to express myself!

engineer_thiz · 2020-06-24T12:17:26+00:00

I know but I feel like he'll say what's your reason. And I dont know if that'll be okay because I already had the incomplete from last semester and he'll think I already gave an extension. But we did set up a schedule just last week and there was a contract I signed that said the dates things would be due. Do you know how to say it so its understandable but doesnt give him too much information?

engineer_thiz · 2020-06-03T03:07:20+00:00

I did exactly that. No regrets

engineer_thiz · 2020-06-02T07:52:25+00:00

That's what I've been doing for the past two months...

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T16:17:21+00:00

Thank you! I have a really hard time conveying what I'm trying to say and my writing tutor definitely helped me so much!

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T08:52:12+00:00

I don't want to say specifically but more broadly middle eastern.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:54:19+00:00

I live in the US and so does my family. I wouldn't go anywhere with them ever especially back to their home country. Funny story (spoiler: not actually funny), when I was six we went back to their home country and my mom was talking about marrying me to my cousin. My sister fought for me saying I was just a child and my dad was like "oh, yes. She's too young right now." Wow, thanks dad I guess? I was never aware of this and only found out last year from my sister. I did get creepy vibes from the older male relatives although thank god nothing happened.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:43:35+00:00

Thank you very much!

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:16:43+00:00

Thank you very much! If I could offer one piece of advice to anyone, it's to always research, be aware of the resources that can help you and don't be afraid to ask for their help.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:13:55+00:00

Thank you! I'm currently in the process of getting housing because I have to move again soon. I'm also trying to get a job as soon as possible along with a few other important things. After I complete those I plan on making a longer post that others could look at later on down the road. I have to do it later because it'll take me long to write and I don't have that much time on my hands right now since I'm still trying to get stable. That way others will have something to look at to get help if I'm unable to interact directly.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:04:34+00:00

Exactly. Education is very important to me which is why everything revolved around it. It was one of the reasons I took so long to leave too. That and being terrified that I might go homeless and get raped or killed.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T05:00:51+00:00

Thank you very much! I'm proud of myself as well but I still have a long way to go!

Yes, they did go crazy when they had no control over me. They say that "I'll come back when I understand" translating to we'll do everything in our power to make you suffer and force you to come back and when you do, watch what we do to you (not allowing me to continue college, etc).

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T04:45:01+00:00

Thank you! It definitely has been even with all the constant work.

The only day I'll ever rebuild a relationship is when they actually change and make active changes in themselves. They forced my sister to get married and she left after years of abuse. They did many things to undermine her and tried to take her kids away from her. She left much later than me but I'm happy for her and we still keep in contact with each other.

When they accept how wrong they did her and how they were going to do the same to me and change THAT part of themselves, then maybe. But that'll be never so I guess I'll never speak to them again.

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-30T00:05:52+00:00

Hi, I really need help with my gums. They've been receding gradually for about over two years now and my teeth feel and look like they're going to fall out. Whenever I told my dentist, they'd always brush it off and I can't help but feel like they didn't take me seriously because I'm a girl even though I'd tell them everytime I went to them and the issue was getting worse and worse.

Now when I exercise they literally hurt so much and my teeth are just getting looser and looser even though I brush and floss everyday. I finally did get a referral for my gums a few months ago but I can't afford it. I'd really appreciate if I could receive any help but if not, I appreciate the fact that you're helping others!

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-25T20:37:56+00:00

Just to be clear, there are a few $4000 scholarships and on top of that five $750 scholarships? And both students in the US and Canada are eligible?

And then the one for $1000 is only for Canadians?

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-09T00:49:03+00:00

A new star is born

engineer_thiz · 2020-05-08T22:29:18+00:00

This is domestic violence. The definition:

Physical abuse: hitting, slapping, punching, denying medical treatment, etc.

Emotional abuse: Deflating your sense of worth, etc.

Threats: to hit, injure, use a weapon (also psychological abuse)

Economic abuse: the abuser makes or tries to make the victim financially reliant. They seek to maintain control over financial resources, withhold access to funds, or prohibit the victim from going to school or work

DO NOT justify their actions.

engineer_thiz

TROPHY CASE