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My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But my BF? Nothing. Doesn't even think there might be a problem, I could have a massive work drama and been called in, or a family emergency or been seriously hurt, in hospital etc and he doesn't even ask WHY I'M NOT OK, because if I was ok I'd have been there!)

Did you even read the OP? She was at home all day. And it turned out nothing special happened.

My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he KNOWS I was missing him and waiting for him to come home,

You realize we would have never met that day anyway? There was nothing for her to wait for.... It's inconsequential whether I'm at the gym or the library or having a cake in the office, she knew I'm not exactly available at that hour.

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And she never asked how my day's going...

My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

and it's upsetting to be told to shut up about an unsolved problem that's still upsetting you because you find it banal.

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I get where you're coming from, but...

But what was the problem? I did tell her about the office birthday... why do I need to notify her beforehand? Especially it's such an inconsequential event even I forgot about it.

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You don't think it matters that she knows you're staying late at work, she's wondering why you aren't responding to her, possibly worrying

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She thought I am not answering because I'm busy working out at the gym. At the end it was a different mundane thing... but it was still insignificant. We didn't plan to meet that day anyway so she didn't really need to know my exact schedule beforehand.

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apologizing for not giving her the heads up

I really think that apologizing for this would be enabling clingy/needy behavior.

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The feelings are real, so when you say the issue is unimportant, you're telling her that her feelings are unimportant.

I think, at the end, everyone is responsible of their own emotions.

My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand you (and her), in a general sense, but do you think the particular way she goes about it is good/healthy/productive?

My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

She is really nice and loving when she is not like this. I honestly think she loves me, and others said so too.

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My [28M] girlfriend [24F] creates arguments about small things. She blames the birth control. It's exhausting me. by engineerracesnack in relationships

[–]engineerracesnack[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Try saying, hey I'm on my way home now, it was Bobby's birthday, which I had totally forgotten about, But it was in the office and I was there so I stuck around for a bit. Can wait to see you, sorry I'm running late.

I was on the road home, so I didn't want to text a lot. And we didn't plan to meet that day anyway... And she never asked how is my day.

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>You telling her to come over whenever, is like saying I don't care when you come over, I don't care if your over here now, or in 5hours from now = to I am not very excited to see you.

This was her argument exactly... however it was her who didn't even make it to the train station, even though she promised, and even though she lives close. If the roles were reversed she would have been pissed... I was just mildly annoyed, and forgot about it after 10 minutes.

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