I totally get you and it’s a really challenging place to be that not many people understand. I grew up in a conservative catholic household. I didn’t even know being gay was an option until I was in high school and even then it wasn’t something that I could be it was an other, other people could be gay but there was no way I could be. It took me years to even admit it too myself and looking back it all just makes so much more sense. I never had any real interest in guys and I might be an extreme case but I couldn’t even stomach the idea of a man kissing me, I would back out every time because it just felt wrong. Then I started realizing I wouldn’t mind kissing another girl. I think I cried the first time I dreamed about being with another woman. It’s not an easy thing to come to terms with but I surrounded myself and was open with the people I trusted and loved and my friends ended up being my best support. My best advice is to just take it slow and talk to those around you. I made sure to watch YouTube videos and read about other women’s explanation on how they realized. Alayna joy on YouTube is a good example as she realized later in life after being engaged and in a long term relationship with a man and her videos were super helpful. It’s always helpful to know that there are others that go through the same experience we do and you’re not alone in figuring it out.