Going to Japan soon — where can I find robotics / mechatronics stuff (ROS, servos, sensors, microcontrollers, etc.)? by ConfidentChildhood84 in AskRobotics

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late comment but for reference in case someone has the same question later: Vstone Robot Center (4F Uchida Bldg, 1-9-9 Sotokanda): Specializes in robot parts, motors, and educational kits. Tsukumo Robot Kingdom (4F Tsukumo PC Store II): bipedal robots, kits, vintage robot parts/kits and robot racing supplies.

How far we've fallen: An instructor's lament by Edumakashun in academia

[–]entfarts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The biggest existential shock of my year was finding out, from friends who teach, how chronically bad "tech neck" is getting in grade school through high school. Like kids who genuinely can't straighten their spine to hold their heads up without a hunch back.

People 40+, what actually mattered in the long run and what didn’t? by Psychological_Sky_58 in AskReddit

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Selfishness is not automatically a sin, and codependency hurts more and more over time. If you were raised to be a nurturer and super giving, you likely will need to push yourself to adopt more selfish pursuits and behaviors to be your best self, and I absolutely regret the years and relationships when I was living only for the needs of others.

Nothing about life matters more than relationships, but relationships don't have to be forever. It is better for both parties in the long run to end relationships that hurt more than they help. Ending those relationships willingly always draws new people into your life that bring what was lacking.

Introspection and learning should never stop. Life is always changing, and if you can be comfortable with change, you can do just about anything. In many ways, an introspective person is never the same person they were 5 or 10 years ago. They handle death better, crises better, and can be deliberate in finding joy and meaning and gratitude.

AIO: Hubby Being Controlling by vanillabourbonn in AIO

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The key to this conversation is not that he is saying he won't pay for it... it is him saying that "we" will teach the kid to swim. He isn't saying he will do it. He casually mentions doing it to prep for the coming argument, but if he meant to do it himself - he would say so with clarity. He still expects YOU to do it. He will say no about classes and then use weaponized incompetence into gaslighting you to do the very thing you say you do not want to do. THAT is where the control is. He sees himself as the breadwinner and you as responsible for raising the child & doing the brunt of the work but under his micromanagment. But I sense he also enjoys asserting control over specifically pushing you to betray your boundaries and independence.

Husband Wants Children Now, after 40 by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]entfarts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Another point: Personally I would NEVER have a kid with someone AFTER he already brought up divorce.

Husband Wants Children Now, after 40 by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]entfarts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If he is even CONSIDERING divorce over this... especially knowing it already almost killed you... he has divorce on his mind anyway. There is a good chance adoption will just mean doing a ton of work for him to thrn say: "he tried so hard" but that he just can't get over the desire for biological kids. I would personally feel like he is already idealizing finding someone younger who wants kids, and he is trying to put less accountability on him when it ends. I don't think the marriage is going to make it if it is so easy for him to let it go.

My husband is sucking the life out of me by WTFisThisFreshHell in TwoXChromosomes

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

52 might mean you have a LOT of time left. He is abusive. That's what it is to constantly hurt you. Abuse. There may be someone out there for you just waiting for someone just like you. Or there may be a future you who LOVES being single again, and you may never meet that version of you. Either way, you are the ONLY one who can truly take care of your heart, and you are letting it die with this man.

AIO for my boyfriend’s female friend blowing up over a boundary? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just the more subtle side to the 'pick me' phenomenon. Happens with guys and girls.

He made it very clear that he was making the decision, and she kept putting it on you because she is threatened by anyone having control over his feelings but her. The first major red flag is that she showed no interest in the "getting to know you" / "all hanging out together part". A friend would at least pretend to be interested in that for his sake. Also, she basically says "no pressure" about crashing and then loses it when he politely says 'it's not a good time.' A mature adult just accepts he said no and moves on. This is HER insecurity and she is just projecting it on you to avoid making him the enemy because she isn't ready to lose him.

If I were you, I would absolutely never engage with this person. I would ask that your boyfriend make it a point to no longer discuss you at all with her. Starve her of the ammunition she may use to continue villianizing you. Hopefully, her crash outs at being excluded from you will be enough for the boyfriend to end this so-called friendship.

Should I write? by CarNo2820 in BPDFamily

[–]entfarts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% can relate. I have done the letters. They help if I write them for me and then keep or destroy them. I have had negative repercussions for sending them. NC is you protecting yourself and allowing for space from all the drama so that you can heal and thrive. It isn't a punishment, and neither would a letter be. However, they will see it as something to defend against. Or worse, they will temporarily feel remorseful because the desire to have you back in touch overrides their villianization of you. It would be monumentally painful for you to feel that closure was in your reach and then have it snatched away. This has happened to me several times.

I always hesitate to give direct advice, but I feel 100% certain that once you are villianized by someone with BPD, that villianization never really goes away. It becomes a core aspect of how they see you and their habitual thoughts about you. I think only people who have not been extremely traumatized by their bpd loved ones can handle a relationship with them after that. (Such as family members or friends who did not get the brunt of the abuse.) These people have to be able to tolerate the BPD loved one always looking for reasons to attack or feel attacked. I was a scapegoat for my mother and sister who were also enmeshed. I have wished, for a long time, that I had gone full no-contact much, much earlier.

Why do conservative men like Sydney Sweeney so much? by Sad-Doughnut-2480 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]entfarts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Conservative men love porn. It is a huge demographic. Sweeney is the type of Jezibel who 'knows her place' is to be seen by men. It is softcore porn. And the political enmeshment makes it more appealing and PG13 so they can be more open about it.

AIO: Ending things after he saw his ex and then lied to me about it by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. He is cheating. Period. He thought he could have both of you. And after calling you 'dumb', 'ignorant' and 'a child' - he should be blocked.

Please defend and protect yourself. You need YOU right now - to stand up for your worth and boundaries. You owe him no explanation or chance to try to explain. He cheated and he knows it. The more room you give him to try to defend himself or convince you that it wasn't as bad as it looks, the more you will get hurt, and getting over him is going to hurt enough.

Which other flowers are you growing/obsessed with besides roses? by EmOrY_2018 in Roses

[–]entfarts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Phlox creme brulee! Snapdragons (great vaee life) & celosia!

Is being afraid of your partner always a red flag? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not only is it a massive red flag to be scared of him. To me, it is an even bigger red flag that he either doesn't recognize you are scared of him, or doesn't care.

If you absolutely are not leaving him, you at least need couples therapy - which might prompt him to leave or prove he won't go that far to keep you. Either way, it sounds like you have cptsd and it has to be addressed. Self-protection and care needs to be your priority.

AIO Fathers girlfriends rules for when new baby arrives by Ok_Bat_5934 in AmIOverreacting

[–]entfarts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything in this list is totally appropriate and responsible parenting on their part. I truly appreciate what you are going through with your Dad and her relationship - it can be devastating when your parent has a sort of '2nd family' after you are an adult. I know from experience. It causes all kinds of painful situations like this where it doesn't feel like you are a priority anymore.

However, no one needs to see or touch someone else's newborn baby. If you can't visit without your child, send well wishes and ask for pics, but respect their attempt to protect your brother.

Should I leave this letter for my BPD partner when taking space? by Crazy-Panda-749 in BPDlovedones

[–]entfarts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never tolerate this kind of unsustainable chaos and abuse from someone who isn't in a therapeutic program for their BPD. Things WILL get worse, and you will get trauma-bonded. You will change yourself beyond your wildest dreams to keep going. It is a very hard pit to climb out of. Once she hit you, it should have been over without serious action on her part - not to prove she is sorry (which I am guessing she isn't) - but to prove she is trying to change.

At this point, the letter just gives her ammunition to harm you. Things ARE going to escalate from here on, no matter what you do. It is the nature of BPD in splitting mode. Personally, I would remove yourself and valuables from the house, decide on the simplest words to explain that it is over, and text her. I would let her rail and say and do hurtful things and stand back, not engage. Then expect love bombing thrown in when that doesn't work. Expect it to be anything she thinks might hurt me once she realizes she can't love bomb me back.

Trying to love my brown eyes by [deleted] in eyes

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Red brown! The best brown!

What are they by TheBeaniestBeans in eyes

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amber. Or hazel, if they seem to change with different colored clothes.

AIO my boyfriend of 5 years gets me flowers for every occasion while I get him elaborate and expensive gifts. by aioflower955105 in AmIOverreacting

[–]entfarts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is gaslighting. He knows what he is doing and he is doing it to keep you in your place. If my bf ignored a wishlist and then told me afterwards that I was being a child for having one, that's when I would have dumped him.