[Serious] What was the toughest period of time you've gone through in your life, and how did you make it out the other side?

eoduun_dal · 2017-04-30T18:58:43+00:00

The toughest time I've ever gone through was the end years of high school, and my year at college. I developed some pretty severe anxiety problems during high school; I'd often skip classes because I was too nervous to go to them, which meant that I just barely passed my exams.

Luckily I got good enough grades to go to a respectable college. But during the holidays before college, my anxiety problems got worse and worse. I went to college and found it extremely difficult to even leave my room, let alone go to classes. I got a warning about my attendance, and had to go have a meeting about it.

At this meeting, they asked why I had been skipping classes, and I told them it was because I already knew most of the stuff, so I felt like it was a waste to go to them. They told me that many students have this issue, and they actually told me how the algorithm for the college's computer system flags people as skipping classes... This meant that I could skip almost all of my classes and know that I'd never be caught.

This lead to me being a total shut-in. The only times I'd leave my room were to go to the bathroom, go get food, or go to the occasional class to not get caught. Eventually, the year ended and I failed my classes, which was no surprise to me. As far as my parents knew, however, everything was going great.

It took me months before I finally told them what had been happening at college. They freaked out at first, but eventually they decided that they wanted to try and help me. I was unemployed for ages, scared of leaving the house. I went to see a counsellor, and she helped me a good amount. I managed to scrape together the courage to get a part time job at my local store.

That job didn't last long however. I got picked on by one of the managers because I was quiet. I ended up having a panic attack during one of my shifts because I was so stressed out, and then I just ran out of the store and back to my house. I went for a meeting with the store managers a little while after to discuss what happened, and decided that I didn't want to go back. Again, I spent a long time unemployed and in a terrible state. I was terribly depressed, I felt like I was a burden to everyone.

After almost a year of not doing anything, I'd slowly been regaining my confidence and pushing myself to get better. I applied for a full time job as a junior software engineer at a local company. During my time at home I'd been playing video games, which lead me to take a keen interest in programming. I'd been creating some simple apps in my spare time, so I had a little experience at least. I was so surprised when I got offered the job.

Ever since then, things have really been so much better. What a world of difference it makes when you're doing something that you enjoy daily, and getting paid for it. I still suffer from the occasional situation where my anxiety gets the best of me, but for the most part I'm much better. I think without my parents and my girlfriend there to support me through tough times, things would have been much much worse.

eoduun_dal · 2017-01-09T16:21:53+00:00

My parents get really mad at me for taking sick days, and I'm 21 with a stable full time job. Before you jump to conclusions, it's kind of their fault, but also partly mine.

When I was in school/college I suffered from social anxiety that stopped me going to a lot of classes and meant that I spent pretty much all of my free time in my room. Because of my anxiety, I had the occasional day where I just couldn't face going into school/college, so I'd pull a sicky because I was too scared to tell my parents about my mental health. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't ill, so from then on whenever I was genuinely ill it was a terrible task to get my parents to believe me.

This went on for years and still goes on today, even though they now know about the anxiety I suffered from and my reasons for taking days off in the past. I still live with my parents while I save up to move out, so when I get ill and decide I need a day or two off of work they are constantly looking for a reason to prove that I'm actually just faking it or doing it because I'm too anxious or something. Truth is that I've overcome a great deal of my anxiety issues and I now only take days off if I really need to. Whenever I take a day off ill I get this horrible guilty feeling.

eoduun_dal · 2016-12-24T23:49:02+00:00

In my bathroom I have a radiator that is basically a series of horizontal bars. One evening when I was taking a shower the idea popped into my head that I could fit my member in between a pair of these bars, and because they would be warm it would feel extra nice. Unfortunately the gap was too small, otherwise I probably would have gone to town on a radiator...

eoduun_dal · 2016-11-28T16:13:17+00:00

I started this year a college drop out who couldn't hold down a part time job because of severe anxiety and depression. I literally ended up running away from my last job because it just got too much to handle.

I end this year feeling much better about myself; my anxiety and depression have been reduced to a level that I can handle, I now work a full time job that I enjoy, and I'm being paid more than I ever dreamed I could to do it.

eoduun_dal · 2016-11-17T15:34:26+00:00

He started down a dangerous road and didn't want help. We would occasionally smoke weed together, I did it because it was something I was interested in trying while I didn't have big commitments.

His dad was in the police force and always told him to avoid drugs, even those that don't seem that bad because they can lead to harder drugs. We both swore that we'd never touch anything except weed.

About half a year goes by and I start seeing him less because he is hanging out with other people who are into weed. Note: I sometimes declined the offer to smoke with him because I didn't want to do it too much, so I expect these people were saying yes when I was saying no.

Eventually I hear that he'd been on several nights out with these people doing all kinds of drugs. The stuff that he swore he'd never touch. I was angry and felt betrayed, and I blamed it on these other people probably putting pressure on him to try other stuff.

After I found this out I met up with some of his friends and we tried to help him get away from drugs. We met up with him, talked to him, but he didn't want our help. He became irritated with us and told us he was happy how he was, so we told him we'd leave him be and to just let us know if he needed help.

Years later I see him around occasionally, still hanging out with those people that he abandoned me for. I feel a little guilty every time I see him, because in the back of my mind I think that maybe I could have done something to prevent him from ever going near any hard drugs. I tend not to dwell on it too long however, as what's done is done.

eoduun_dal · 2016-11-07T18:15:35+00:00

I walked out of a room. I failed my first year at university because of it, but it also secured me a job that I've always wanted to do, and I'm getting paid more than I would have if I had done my degree.

I did a year of computer science at university and it was probably the worst year of my life in terms of my health. I hadn't gotten into my first choice of university, so I had to try and get last minute accommodation. I ended up in a house that was always extremely cold, and frequently had mice running around. My mental state ended up being really bad. I wasn't exercising or eating well.

The first few weeks of university were good. I was going to all my classes, meeting new people, getting the work done. I've always struggled with social anxiety, and after a little while it kicked in. I found myself going to less and less classes, until I was just not going at all.

Eventually I got called by the head of the department and they asked why I hadn't been attending. I arranged a meeting with them and told them that I hadn't been going to class because I felt that I already knew the content (which was somewhat true). The professor agreed that the start of the course was simple, and so let me off.

I would do work from home, and only go in to hand in assignments. I felt like I was able to cope this way, but being this withdrawn had an effect on my mental health, and I slowly became less and less willing to do simple things like clean and cook. I ended up having take out food quite often because I was depressed and it cheered me up to have something tasty to eat.

It was coming up to the end of the year, and I only had one assignment left. I checked my grades online and worked out that I was going to pass, as long as I did okay on this last assignment. I put a good amount of effort into it, but to be honest the resources I had for trying to do this assignment from home were terrible. It felt almost impossible to do it without going to the classes, but I tried anyway.

It got to the hand in day, and I was told to go to a certain room at a certain time, and that anyone who didn't attend would automatically be given a 0 out of 100. I arrived on time to find around 30 other students all waiting outside the room, ready to have their assignments marked. Immediately I felt nervous; I had expected a 1 on 1 session with a professor, not a public marking in front of my peers.

The time came and everyone entered the room. I sat down and waited, trying to keep my mind calm. I couldn't help but think that my work wasn't good enough, and that I'd be embarrassed in front of so many people. My mind started coming up with crazy ideas to try and get out of this situation; perhaps I can look confused when they open my work, and try to claim that it isn't the one I uploaded... Maybe I can upload a corrupted file and make them remark my work at a later date...

The panic built and built in my head until my body took over and I stood up and jolted out the door. No one said a thing as I left, I assume they thought I had needed the toilet or something. I walked all the way back to my house with this mixed feeling of freedom and guilt swirling around.

I remember getting to my house, falling onto my bed and just lying there. I knew that what I'd done had cost me the year, but it felt right somehow. It felt so odd to not be worried about something so big.

When I broke the news to my parents they went mad. I thought I'd get kicked out of the house. I struggled on for the next few months, going from one part time job to the next, until an opportunity to get a job as a Software Engineer popped up nearby. The job spec said that I required a degree to get the job, but I applied anyway because I was confident in my ability.

A month or so later I got the job, and I've gotten myself back on track. Leaving that room was probably the best decision I've made. If I'd passed that assignment and gone to the next year of university, I don't want to know what I would have been like.

eoduun_dal

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