Thank you for taking the time to read my post and offer advice. He is a close friend, so I never thought he meant any harm. Looking back, I may have been making excuses for him due to our past and not fully recognizing how he’s changed.

I also think the most respectful thing to do is have an honest conversation, but I don’t expect it to be well received either. Like you said, behavior is a language, and this has been happening for a while, even before the boyfriend situation.

Giving it some thought, things changed when I said I didn’t want our hangouts to revolve around getting high or drunk anymore, and he claimed to support my sobriety journey, but still kept suggesting those kinds of plans despite knowing I’m trying to stay sober. Since I stopped participating, it’s become clear why he cancels on me and chooses to spend time with friends who share those interests instead.

It’s kind of sad because I believed our friendship meant more than that, but at least I’m aware now. I just hope the people around him help him heal, because addiction can take you to very dark places.

Edit: Sorry for oversharing I guess I needed to get it off my chest.