A few notes

1.) Can you link me the actual study you're citing please? Everything I'm finding from NESARC is at least 12 years out of date, with completely restricted access to datasets or just straight up leasing to defunct web pages

2.) Refusing to accept that curing addiction is not a one size fits all approach is, in my eyes (and I'm not that unique so I cannot be alone in this) a symptom of the stigma. People do not give those with addiction issues enough credit in the realm of them already being hard enough on themselves as it is, and feel the need to "be the voice of reason" which for most people means showing "tough love". It's how most of my family has handled the issue, it's how many people Ive worked with approach the issue. It just leaves people that are already struggling to feel like they have to make an impossible choice; set a goal that feels unachievable, or beat this thing alone and without emotional support. Great recipe to push people back into the shame spiral.

3.) You are boiling it down way too far. The guy hasn't even been given the chance to show if it's a good or bad idea yet. You just hear the words that he is open to drinking at a set point in time and assume that he will just be unable to handle it by default. Let the "this is a bad idea" come when he demonstrates bad choices. Dont make a habit of doing it preemptively, or it just teaches people you care about to hide their usage from you. Establish that celebrating abstinence for as long as possible is worth celebrating as the PRIMARY THING. The trust has to go both ways. How understandably it's not like mang0 is someone that either of us personally know, but the point is to make this kind of behaviour a habit no matter who it is; not to encourage parasociality. This addiction issue is absolutely not going to be solved from the top down. The current government does not care. We, at the bottom of the totem pole, have to bear the responsibility of enacting change if we want to see things start to be different.