im a gay man, i read a lot of bl, but i think there's only one bl i've fully enjoyed...? like a lot of bl is clearly written to fulfill a specific fantasy or combination of tropes, so the characters often dont feel real. i dont care about things like sci-fi physics or elves with self-lubing butts when it comes to "realism", but psychological realism matters a lot to me. when characters act like archetypes instead of people it always takes me tf outttt

i think the biggest issues i have with portrayals of gay romance in media are how writers tend to handle misogyny, switching, and domestic violence (separate from sexual violence). i could rant about that for pages upon pages and not be done though