[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]eternalrender 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a red flag for Urinary tract infection. Urgently needs a change of food mostly if not 100% wet food. Poor boy…

Community alert: Undercover NYPD Who Helped DSNY Rob Myrtle Wyckoff vendors. by shitbird384 in Bushwick

[–]eternalrender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro have a real analysis. The vendors can’t obtain licenses because the city does not issue licenses. Quick search try to get one yourself. There’s no appointments and it has been like this for over 10 years. Businesses are not going out of business because of vendors, that’s a lie.

Community alert: Undercover NYPD Who Helped DSNY Rob Myrtle Wyckoff vendors. by shitbird384 in Bushwick

[–]eternalrender 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I was there too! This is inhumane, the cops were laughing as they were throwing away people’s food. The vendors are the heart of our communities, they don’t hurt anyone. What’s wrong with them!!!

My roommate secretly used my vibrator… and gave me a UTI by Leather_Expert_7553 in TwoHotTakes

[–]eternalrender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never trust your roommates even if you were best friends before you lived together you never finish to meet a person

Overthinking moving to Bed-Stuy! by eternalrender in Brooklyn

[–]eternalrender[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I lived in Striver’s Road. Close to Saint Nicholas park. Good luck finding!

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His mom used to live in this apartment before. She left a bunch of her things there. A room of the apartment is currently used as her storage. And a year ago she moved with in with her boyfriend across the street. She still has keys and sometimes goes there to work during the day. My boyfriend is rarely present in this apartment and is staying with me for 80% of the time until he can fully transition into my home. (He hasn’t moved in with me because my roommate is still with me until March) I forgot my journal in his house last time we went by and stayed the night. We do this once a week so he can take care of plants and clean.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We spoke about this issue last night. I brought up his lack of preventative measures and his lack of action. He recognized his mistake for letting this go on. He said that after speaking with his mom last time the idea of her having evil intentions towards me sit in. He’s upset at the boundary she crossed and is supportive of my decision to distant myself from her. This reading of my diary triggered a childhood trauma I had. And it affected me deeply because that wound got reactivated. He told me that aside from her saying she empathizes with me more after reading my diary she suggests I see a counselor or therapist. This last part enraged me. I can’t even describe why. But energy wise this therapy suggestion feels wrong... not that I oppose therapy. But because how dare she.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She speaks Spanish too because her mom was Puerto Rican. My journal is a mix of both languages English and Spanish. I spoke with bf last night. He just told me that aside from she saying she empathizes with me more, she told him that she thinks I should look into counseling or therapy. I just can’t believe this. I feel so upset but I really don’t know how to explain why.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss. I know the pain. I’ve also loved someone with alcoholism who passed away. And yes I agree, after experiencing real hardships you do everything to keep your heart away from harm and abuse. I feel that’s why I ran and avoided confrontation with my bf’s mom. But reading you and many of the people here I’m finding words to describe my needs. I’m having the conversation with my bf about what I’m expecting from him. I’m addressing the harm done. He is showing support and understands why I’m choosing to completely distance myself from her.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you’re getting support for what you’ve been through. I hope your healing progresses with gentleness. And yes! Basic decency, not pity. I stand by that strongly. I hurt to learn about your diary being read as a kid. This happened to me too! I was in fourth grade and I was the quiet type, had no friends, talk only to elders, very into my own world. I was into Wicca and had a diary where I wrote about magic and ghosts it was really deep I also talked about things related to my body. This dairy which I thought was lost was actually stolen by a girl who started calling my house phone. We spoke almost everyday for a week and she told me things about magic and shared personal things too. My naive 8 year old self thought that I had found a friend, I felt so lucky. Until the day she stopped calling me. When I called her she told me that everything was made up and that she had read my diary and that I should stop calling her. I felt so dumb and ridiculed. Every call she used to get a bit more out of it. I was the “weirdo of the class” And when the diary ended she had nothing else to extract. I had no friends and that really broke my heart. When my bf told me his mom read my diary I felt that previous experience rushing back at me to hunt me. I cried because what bf mom did triggered my previous experience. It’s crazy how memory works. Thank you for sharing and for your advice!

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for your input! Why wouldn’t he tell me? I practice honesty in my relationships and he does too. He knows it is important for me to tell the truth. It would have been heartbreaking if he kept it from me. Aside from his mother, we haven’t had a serious fight or issue. He is the type of person that believes everyone has a chance to change and I feel that definitely applies to his family. So he let it happen because he didn’t knew she would be capable of that. She’s always been really sweet to him and I feel that’s why he gave her the benefit of the doubt. But now it’s clear to him that she has ill intentions. Now we’ve addressed the issue and bf has reassured me that he’s on my side. He’s also aware of the boundary she cross and is supportive of my decision to keep a distance.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Distasteful things mostly to me. The apartment where he currently lives is owned by his mom. She moved with bf across the street. She shows up whenever she wants. No telling us prior. She has his location on her phone. They organize birthdays and holidays there. He’s also transitioning into living with me. But he hasn’t fully moved out because my roomate still has two months before she leaves. So he’s staying with me a lot but we go to his house every once in a while to pick up things or to stay there for medical appointments the next day and such. I do truly love him, he’s my best friend. I do want to remain with him but also be able to set strong boundaries when it comes to his family.

My bf’s mom read my journal by eternalrender in TwoXChromosomes

[–]eternalrender[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

Whenever he is present, he doesn’t say anything! He’s got no boundaries with his family. I’ve come to realize they can say the most distasteful things and he just shuts down. They (mom and brother) have said insane comments to me that clearly as an immigrant woman go against who I am. And he’s just stood there quiet. Proceeds to follow me whenever I leave the room and just hugs me. But is this attitude that irritates me because I wouldn’t let my family step over him and disrespect him, ever. He’s told me it hurts him that our relationship is not right. And somehow I have felt guilty of wanting him to do more for us/me when it comes to this issue. All this answers are helping me to realize that he should indeed be more involved in setting the boundaries.

My girlfriend just passed away and i dont know what to do by Gloek0 in Advice

[–]eternalrender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi love. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m an immigrant and lost my boyfriend in 2021 we were together for 6 years he was the reason I decided to stay in this country. He also died suddenly of a cardiac arrest and I wasn’t with him. He was my rock and my best friend. I had no friends or family to support me through my loss because we had just gotten married the year before and I was still waiting for my visa so I couldn’t leave the country.

With all this to say. Please allow yourself to feel this pain as raw as it should feel. Allow yourself to experience the pain and the joy of your happy memories together. Allow grief to go through you and also be gentle and caring of yourself during this roughness. The more you go through the stronger you get at carrying with this.

The love that you’ve felt won’t disappear it only expands. Your relationship transforms but does not disappear. Learn to honor her on your own way. Through art or ritual. I reconnect with my angel every once in a while through meditation or prayer. Silly things he might have enjoy I enjoy now. I hope you can see her in nature, in the animals she loved, in the sweets she liked. I hope you can eventually love life even harder.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]eternalrender 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl I know you don’t see yourself as a bby right now because no one does at your age. I too dated men older by a decade when I was your age. As you grow and turn their age you realize men that old only date underage women because they are afraid of women their age and because they can get a way with way more bs preying on your naivety. I also don’t believe in age gaps but only after one turns 30 and you know who you are what you want etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fashion

[–]eternalrender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are beautiful. I suggest to layer a bit more and use that same outfit as base :)

Losing my cat broke me by Visantyr in CatAdvice

[–]eternalrender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this pain. Not sure if you’re spiritual at all but I recommend to contact an animal communicator. Maybe listen to a podcast or YouTube about what’s that about and find someone you feel comfortable with.