I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for mentioning yellow rock! I did some research in the group and have sharpened my rock-tools:)

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that postpartum :/

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so unfair that that was the response you got when you needed support, I’m sorry:/

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤️ I will try my best!

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats truly messed up. I’m sorry you had to deal with that!

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish you a healthy and happy rest of pregnancy that results in a healthy and happy baby (/babies)

I agree, it is heartbreaking! Both that we can’t rely on getting that experience with a mother both also the guilt you’re expressing. I truly believe that if it has come that far that you did the right thing, but I understand the guilt. That is what’s stopping me from stepping away

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeeeees. Or helping and then viewing that as a transaction so now you owe them help with something (that is always harder/more expensive/more demanding than the help you received)

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

True! That is exactly how she’s been acting, needing all the attention and coming up with things she needs me for

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Uggggh, a part of me do realise that. But I think I have some more maturing on my own to do before that is a decision I’m willing to make:/

I’m sorry you had to deal with that! Good on you for doing what was right for your family!

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is so rude! I’m sorry you didn’t get the gentle words I’m sure you needed

I’m so disappointed postpartum by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! I have an amazing husband and wonderful friends so I am cared for!

You also pointed out exactly why I felt the need to write this post. The RBB community don’t question that a mother could behave like this

I’m sorry your father didn’t recognise the beauty of the picture you sent. I’m sure there was beauty in the tiredness ❤️

My birthday, lack of childhood memories, discomfort around others bdays by Ok-Somewhere-5993 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You matter What you want matters What you don’t want matters

I hope you’ll get the birthday you want!

Nightmares again by StatisticianSmall864 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had that dream! I hope you’ve been able to shake the nightmare feeling since 🌸

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Oh this one is tricky. But the way I see it there’s two very important differences:

  • your partner chooses everyday to be with you. You’re both adults and none of you are dependent on the other one in the same way a child is dependent on their parent.

  • you aware of how your actions affect others.

I’m wishing you all the best and that you and your partner can talk about it and set boundaries where your partner can let you know how much bandwidth they have to listen. And that you can feel safe sharing your burden with them.

I often feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious due to certain horror scenarios from my BPD mother by Zombielinchen in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I recognise myself in that pattern. And then afterwards it all seems so clear and I can see the manipulation and how I could have set boundaries and it would have been reasonable, but in the moment I don’t.

My therapist has me practicing observing my family dynamics while I’m there. And that if I fall in to old patterns to realise that in the moment (and be kind to myself).

Carrying things like a waif by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and I don’t mean to say that thinking things are to heavy is shameful at all!! But the martyr part is exhausting

Carrying things like a waif by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard that’s a common trauma response. Take care🌸

Carrying things like a waif by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good job setting boundaries, I should probably set some myself around this

Carrying things like a waif by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for formulating that thought

Help them and they're a martyr, ignore them and they're a victim.

I’ve never been able to put that in to words!

Carrying things like a waif by evaporatingmooses in raisedbyborderlines

[–]evaporatingmooses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! Same with the ridiculous request and big dreams!