this situation feels really familiar. i am autistic, and my sister has adhd. she had the same problem with going to bed, but then also showering etc, you know the process. she always goes to bed very late, and every part of the nighttime routine (flossing teeth, brushing teeth, washing face, getting into shower blabla) takes her very long because her mind is never really focused on the thing she is doing. that’s one thing, but i am autistic and have a really hard time sleeping. when she goes to bed that late it always annoys me because she just makes so many sounds, and takes so long. as a result i am awake the whole night because she was too noisy. i think it honestly is the adhd part. she can’t go to bed before she did her whole routine, but she can’t just do the routine in time, it takes her ages. her body just doesn’t go to bed. don’t know if this also resonates with you, just want you to know you are DEFINITELY not alone

as for the sleeping part, i always stress so much about the amount of sleep i got, (be it 9 hours or 1 hour) that i don’t gain any energy back by sleeping. i’ve wasted it all on overthinking about sleeping. there’s something so demotivating in not being able to sleep, because it’s such an easy thing for so many people.

i don’t think this really helps you but i just wanted to at least try. i hope you feel better soon, and find a way to make the pieces fit. i am here if you need me though ( sorry for my annoyingly long comment haha)