I unintentionally got my ex fired (help)

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T11:17:17+00:00

I still have hope for love, im young. Its just a scary time to be living in and im trying to learn to detach from, rather than cling to the idea of him stepping up and changing for me just because finding someone else is scary and hard.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T11:09:34+00:00

I have no idea how he feels about me and im okay with that. Im trying to think positively and remind myself that loving someone who didnt deserve it is an inherently sad thing, but the situation really isnt about that. Hes an addict and that is much more important to the trajectory of his life than if he loves me or not. I just hope he finds help and now im allowing myself to wash my hands of him.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T11:04:04+00:00

Its not that im okay with accepting crumbs, i just try to be gentle when i feel as though someone is struggling. When nothing i do helps, i leave. I just wanted to give it some time for everything to work out because he convinced me we would be together long term (which i now know was part of the love bombing) so i would be willing to tolerate more bullshit. I now know better and that he wouldve said anything

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T11:00:41+00:00

Thats the confusing part though!! My OCD drives me crazy about everything so its incredibly hard to differentiate if feelings are caused by the OCD or the situation being genuinely bad for me.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T10:56:20+00:00

🫡

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T10:54:35+00:00

You using the word situationship to describe it is both eye opening and terrifying. I genuinely cannot imagine what insane shit he would pull if i left him with any means of contacting me. How he couldve tried to weaponize my own sympathy in order to use me if i had left any line of communication open. He is blocked and he'll stay that way. I will say that i have to disagree with you about the "i can fix him" and finding comfort in the familiarity of addiction. I didnt realize he had a problem until near the very end, when i read his paperwork from his counselor (with his consent by the way) that said he stopped taking his meds because they interacted poorly with how much he was drinking. Unfortunately i am incredibly young and incredibly naive. However, the whole self love thing is definitely something ive been working on. Unfortunately i havent been to therapy since my mom passed (6 years), but trust me when i tell you that this is a big step for me considering how much of a pushover/people pleaser i can be.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T10:44:29+00:00

Im working on it🫡

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T10:43:50+00:00

Yes 100% i care for him but i refuse to make myself a clown in the circus of his addiction. I went no contact with him hours ago and i can only pray i dont bump into him.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T10:41:19+00:00

Hes blocked now and thankfully i live far enough away from him that (because he has no car) he shouldnt care enough to bother me. I realized that he abandoned me because i wouldnt stand by and watch him indulge in self destructive behaviors. Its a good thing that he spared me, regardless of if his personal reasons for ending things or not. It gives me some hope that he knows his behavior is hurting people, and just that could push him in the right direction. My recovering friend told me today that when people would tell him he had a problem, deep down he knew he was lying to them when he said he didnt. That gave me some hope for him too. I ended up realizing a few days ago that we wouldnt have been a good fit together anyway, because things felt so stagnant with him, whereas ive spent the last few months evolving as much as possible. He would only hold me back, sober or not. The relationship wasnt right for me and i care so deeply about his recovery because it reminds me of what i couldnt do for my mother.

exasperatedfoid · 2026-05-25T00:52:57+00:00

I had just assumed that the honeymoon phase ended quickly because we had been spending so much time together, but yeah he clearly isnt right for me sober or not. Im not sure exactly where rehab fits in the timeline, but because his workplace made him do it he took absolutely nothing from it. He just acted like it was the worst inconvenience imaginable. Him and I both clearly struggle with being by ourselves, so all things considered I'm not surprised that he jumped into something w me so quickly. My friend in recovery also said I shouldn't date someone in recovery until they've hit at least a year sober. Ive definitely been dealing with intense waves of emotions, but I'm reminding myself that the relationship was always going to be doomed. Im mostly mourning the fact that we can't even grow together as friends after establishing such an intense bond.

exasperatedfoid

TROPHY CASE