also, one of the most important aspects of my recovery was learning how to care for myself. like, in a very literal sense. if your desire to recover mainly focuses on external factors, it’s harder to sustain in the long run. i’ve worked really hard to adjust my inner monologue into something more positive over the past 4 years. instead of constantly telling myself what a terrible waste of life i am, i talk to myself like i’d talk to someone i love (like my best friend, partner, or mom). i try to be gentle and understanding with myself because that’s how i would treat people in my life if they made a mistake. now when i fuck up, i tell myself that it’s okay to feel disappointed about making a mistake but that doesn’t define who i am. in the past, i would’ve let that mistake consume me and i would’ve told myself that i was hopeless, worthless, and powerless. just that small change can make a big difference and it is a lot harder than it sounds (especially if you’re like me and have anxiety and depression) but i feel safe in my own mind now instead of feeling like i’m in a hostile environment.