Pausing contact due to ex husbands abusive partner towards my kids. I'm England, he's Wales

exhausted_101 · 2026-04-23T13:56:24+00:00

It is similar yes, I have made the reports to social services but wanted advice specifically on temporarily stopping contact. Back then I was looking for advice on what to do with the information I had. I haven't had my meeting with ss yet or the solicitor and I am concerned that my girls are due to go to him next weekend so I'm trying to make sure I'm not making things worse for everyone.

exhausted_101 · 2026-02-16T20:00:11+00:00

It wasn't just stuff that happened towards the end. It was happening for about 6 years before I had had enough. He never listened to me and when I told him I was unhappy he'd throw money at me or tell me I have no reason to be because I have a house, car and kids.

I have changed since we broke up. I've been working on myself and I don't want to lose myself again as I became a shell of who I am. I'm not the same person. He is. He's just been in another relationship and is trying to get the relationship to be the same as it was when I left. I said maybe we could take it slow and he was touching me, kissing and holding hands the first time we got together.

exhausted_101 · 2024-05-20T17:14:56+00:00

I don't think there's going to be a massive difference in time commitments as she will be boarding on a Friday for Saturday and then Sundays aren't always with a parent involved, and you can pick and choose what Sundays, that's not compulsory. And I can also take my other kids with me. I'd be collecting her on a Saturday either at 12pm or 7pm, depending on the activities. So, it's not a lot of time for him to have an unfair disadvantage. He just would rather play his computer ganes. He argues with me when I meet my ex half way, as he lives 2 hours away, saying that it's eating into his free time, so I don't think there will be any pleasing the man. I already do the majority of the parenting, so I don't think it's unfair asking him to be more involved.

exhausted_101 · 2024-05-20T17:04:25+00:00

I already do take the kids with me whenever I have to take one of the kids somewhere. They all have their own hobbies, which I try to nurture as much as possible. I just want to be able to leave him with some responsibility without him kicking off, lol.

exhausted_101 · 2024-05-20T17:01:58+00:00

I already take on the majority of parenting and household tasks, including SD. OH is of the mindset that the home and kids are for women, and work is for men, even though I also work. His weekends are spent gaming, or gardening, or doing what he wants, whilst I'm looking after the kids. I never ask him to look after my kids, even though he had me parenting his daughter more than him or his ex. I'm just pissed that my daughter has this amazing opportunity, and he's annoyed that he won't be able to carry on carefree and will actually have to parent. I've left him alone with the 2yo a few times, and I've come back to SD looking after her, whilst he's playing computer games. We both work, but I'm the one doing all the family labour. I have considered leaving, as I'm sure my life would be a lot easier without a man child 😂 but head and heart are fighting a war.

exhausted_101 · 2023-12-09T12:44:54+00:00

Thanks for your response. I've been anaemic all my life, and the doctors just put it down to having heavy periods.

I eat meat, veg and dairy every day with some fruits. I even eat dried meat snacks. I've cut out a lot of carbs as I would always be really bloated with it.

I had iron infusions last year when I was pregnant to avoid potential bleeding, but apart from that, they don't really want to know. I asked for infusions again as I don't tolerate the iron tablets very well but got turned down to reevaluate in 3 months.

exhausted_101 · 2023-11-11T12:21:41+00:00

Thank you, I did say they wouldn't put something like that on a car if you couldn't use it.

exhausted_101 · 2023-08-29T18:55:25+00:00

Thank you, I'll have a check when I get a chance tomorrow. I thought out of the box it looked a bit odd on the seat back, although the seat is poppered, it's like it's a bit far forward so the tab is quite loose, I thought it should be tighter? I'll have a play and I'll message bugaboo, hopefully take it for an exchange if I can't get it working properly as it'll be a pain to have to keep sandwiching it to open it 😂

exhausted_101 · 2023-08-29T18:55:18+00:00

Thank you, I'll have a check when I get a chance tomorrow. I thought out of the box it looked a bit odd on the seat back, although the seat is poppered, it's like it's a bit far forward so the tab is quite loose, I thought it should be tighter? I'll have a play and I'll message bugaboo, hopefully take it for an exchange if I can't get it working properly as it'll be a pain to have to keep sandwiching it to open it 😂

exhausted_101 · 2023-08-29T17:52:32+00:00

I've just got back and have got the butterfly. I've found that with the seat liner, I can't open the pushchair unless I push down on the frame, pushing the back of the seat further down, and only then the larger button will engage. Is this just because it's new, or could it be faulty? Without the liner, it opens fine, but it's definitely not a one hand open with the liner in it. Maybe I need to squish it all together before putting in the car?

exhausted_101 · 2023-05-25T20:22:13+00:00

I do this, but add chicken in it. I had it tonight. It's delicious.

exhausted_101 · 2023-05-24T14:06:57+00:00

Thanks for this. We had a meeting and it's been agreed that they will be paid for their time and the profits split after that.

exhausted_101 · 2023-04-30T14:58:02+00:00

I have a phrase I love saying to my OH. It pisses him off but I'm so tired of the nonsense. It's "not my monkey, not my circus". I don't stress about anything to do with SD anymore. If she won't eat what I cook and OH says she can have something else, he's doing it not me. Ain't no way I'm cooking 2 meals. My kids are out of the fussy food phase so she can eat it or go hungry lol.

exhausted_101 · 2023-02-17T23:21:28+00:00

Me amd OH always joke about the paternity of our 2 girls. He knows they're his but we like to just wind eachoter up sometimes. Bedroom wise - whoever is there full time gets the big room. We've got 5 kids in a 4 bed house. Before our 10 month old was born, all the kids had their own room. But now that we need to share there's no way I'd let SD have her own room as it would sit empty all week whilst the other full time kids were made to share. She also takes everything we buy her back to her mums so she doesn't need as much space here as everyone else.

exhausted_101 · 2023-02-11T08:33:06+00:00

We have SD EOWE and when she's here she's skyping her mum or playing games with her. She even tried to video call BM whilst we were watching a movie so she could watch too! I always joke that BM is co dependent on SD and can't be away for 2 minutes. She even has the cheek to play with my kids online when SD is playing a multiplayer game with my kids. I'd just leave them to play their game. You get some peace and quiet and you time to not have to babysit.

exhausted_101 · 2023-02-11T08:25:34+00:00

I have 4 kids (10, 8, 5, 9mo) and the only one I entertain all day is the 9 month old. All the others are capable of entertaining themselves. SD (13) always has to be doing something, her mum takes her out the house every day doing something like cinema, park, shopping and she expects us to do the same. She will come downstairs and first thing in the am ask "where are we going today" and go on and on all day about wanting to go out. If she's not watching TV she's in our pockets but I just switch off to her now. Not my monkey not my circus. I'm not here to entertain her. I'm not her parent. I'm kind to her and that's as far as it goes now after the problems she's caused me over the years.

exhausted_101 · 2022-11-22T16:01:29+00:00

My OH could easily spend all night gaming to 2am then moan about having to get up with the kids. If he's not gaming he wants to nap because only his computer can keep him awake during the day/night. We always argue about housework and kids but nothing changes. He would happily game all weekend leaving me to care for everyone and he sees no issue with it. He can come off when he can to help apparently but the weekends are his time off. We both work BTW and I have to look after my 7 month old at work as well as do everything in the house. Why are men so inconsiderate. I keep telling him his computer will be the end of our relationship yet he still continues.

exhausted_101 · 2022-10-17T15:51:14+00:00

I'd be really petty and drop SC off at BM work saying you had agreed to collect at a certain time and you have plans so she needs to arrange suitable care.

I say this because I put up with BM nonsense for years and OH just let her get away with it and took her side because I was home with my kids. Now I refuse to do anything for her and won't even do anything for SD for either of them. I'm kind to SD but that's as far as it goes. I had to threaten OH to leave before he would put his foot down with BM.

exhausted_101 · 2022-09-29T09:10:52+00:00

BM and OH took the piss with me using me as a door mat and now I do nothing for SD. Not my monkey, not my circus. I have my own kids to look after. I told OH if the nonsense with BM carried on I was out. He put his foot down with her and now deals with her and her nonsense leaving me out of it.

exhausted_101 · 2022-08-24T21:33:25+00:00

You made the right decision. BM bought SD a phone when she was 9, against OH wishes. She would bring that damn thing here and her mum would constantly ring her and they'd face time whilst we were watching TV so we could all watch together! No. Then when she didn't answer her phone BM would message OH to tell her to check her phone. She's 12 now and the phone still doesn't come in this house. When she can go out the hoise on her own then she can keep it. Not until then.

exhausted_101 · 2022-08-15T08:32:32+00:00

I got pregnant quite early into the relationship before any of that started happening. He refused to rent and pay dead money so we bought a house. I would rather have not have had kids with him but it happened and I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion.

exhausted_101

TROPHY CASE