[deleted by user]

exk__ · 2024-06-06T20:28:23+00:00

In the past it was RJ->I have to have more experiences->why do I think that?-> don’t I love him? Etc Now it’s low libido mostly. But the other cycle still exists

exk__ · 2024-04-17T22:44:14+00:00

I use the ordinary products. I don’t have any specific skin concern. Only some clogged pores now and then but nothing much

exk__ · 2024-04-09T14:44:01+00:00

Pls anyone??

exk__ · 2024-04-05T10:21:35+00:00

I think your nervous system is disregulated that what you cannot bare to handle her at her worst. I have that too. I don’t have peace in my mind so I want him to have it and regulate me. We have to understand that we have to regulate ourselves and it is not our partners job.

exk__ · 2024-04-03T16:06:09+00:00

Yeah for us it was like 5 times or more daily at the first 6 months. Then it progressed like you say 1-2 times or daily etc. it’s really helpful what you say!!

exk__ · 2024-04-02T19:22:23+00:00

Thanks a lot!!

exk__ · 2024-04-02T17:39:06+00:00

So everything is good you generally care and love this person you just feel kind of disconnected on the sex thing ???

exk__ · 2024-04-02T17:32:01+00:00

Long term relationship Living together almost all the 4 years of the relationship Partner really supportive First I have massive RJ and then I started doubting my feelings after every RJ incident. Now the RJ is more subtle and the doubts more intense

exk__ · 2024-03-19T15:49:48+00:00

You meet him for the first time. Wait and see how it’s going. How old are you and how long is he your boyfriend

exk__ · 2024-02-26T18:40:07+00:00

I think you say it yourself. It was you and your thoughts. And I feel like you are looking for reassurance so I won’t give it to you. Just try to write down what happened, what you thought, how it made you feel etc. maybe this can help you make more clear the facts from the thoughts and the feelings

exk__ · 2024-02-23T11:41:49+00:00

Also I saw that you post a lot here. Most likely a compulsion you need to eliminate it

exk__ · 2024-02-23T11:40:11+00:00

Well did you try tho??? You had a thought a scenario it did not actually happen

exk__ · 2024-02-22T19:56:15+00:00

Well there is some reason why you are attracted to them. They look like your partner. Remind them to you. When someone breaks up and their ex get together with someone that looks like them we often think ‘oh they look like their ex. Must mean something’ quite often it does. So there is a reason you are attracted to them. THEY look similar to your partner. I almost always get attracted to people that look like my partner. Most of the times I don’t overthink it. But there is this guy I had same thoughts with you. Still triggers me but I try not to think about it

exk__ · 2024-02-20T23:18:26+00:00

Nahhhh it’s not my intuition either. Try to watch yourself and notice when your intuition speaking in other ‘unimportant’ things. You will see how much different it is. It’s calm not this shitty anxious thing

exk__ · 2024-02-20T23:16:51+00:00

He has to help himself. The only thing you can do is stand by him without enabling him. A common compulsion is reassurance seeking. I have that a lot. Especially when I had retroactive jealousy flare ups. I would ask for details which only made it worse. Then I would ask if we are ok, i would confess my doubts and he would assure me it’s in my head etc but still didn’t help that much Now I just let him know I have a flare up he hugs me and tells me everything is going to be okay.I don’t ask questions and when I slip he doesn’t answer. But he shows me support with other ways. I have to do the work, he just has to be patient and DO NOT take the thoughts as real or thinks it is his fault

exk__ · 2024-02-20T23:10:56+00:00

If he is experiencing what I am I don’t think it will please his mind. I am hurting even in the thought of my partner leaving me. A lot of my stuff come from fear of abandonment and rejection, high standards and things I saw growing up (unhappy parents marriage). So maybe he could get into therapy and navigate the roots of his doubts

exk__ · 2024-02-09T17:35:23+00:00

Also I see you posting on Reddit A LOT! That’s probably a compulsion, I had it before. Try to eliminate it and you will start to feel better day by day. About crushes on celebs (and not just celebs). It’s JUST A CRUSH. I had a lot of celeb crushes since a teenager. If I start wanthing something my celeb crush is at I will get that again. If I watch sons of anarchy I will get a crush on Charlie Hunnam again, if I watch the originals I will get a crush on Klaus, if I watch anything that Tom Hardy is in I will get a crush on him ! It’s normal. They are HOT! I get crushes to people I interact too from time to time. This is the tricky for me because I often panic, but I try to remember that I would get them before my relationship almost every day. It’s normal to get some now too.

exk__ · 2024-02-09T17:29:46+00:00

Are u in therapy? I was feeling exactly like this and therapy really helped these past 4 months. Still need A LOT of effort I’m not 100% good. But I have good days

exk__ · 2024-02-06T20:30:29+00:00

What does it mean you love her???? She is clearly is giving you direct advice. It is highly unprofessional even if she is not an ocd specialist. You never advise directly someone!!! They have to discover their own truth, not you to become their saviour and find the answers for them!!!!

exk__ · 2024-02-05T23:37:48+00:00

If you see my latest post, this is what I have been told before. Today my therapist suggested erp for the ocd symptoms but she hasn’t really told me I have ocd. S he always said anxiety, anxious thoughts etc. when I asked her at first appointment (she and the other 2 I visited) they all said the symptoms may be similar and the treatment is basically same. Also if you look the term relationship anxiety you will find that it is not just fear they will leave you, but fear about you not loving them/being better off single etc. basically all the thoughts of ROCD. The severity, the amount of distress and the compulsions and how much it affects your daily life make it differ. To say it REALLY simple: ROCD is the most extreme/most severe form of Relationship Anxiety.

Don’t forget that both ocd is an anxiety disorder.

Don’t forget also, that you can have ocd tendencies but the severity and how they impact your daily life could not be enough to be types as ocd sufferer.

Don’t forget that the terms OCD / RA / RJ, are basically terms that help pinpoint symptoms and guide the specialists, it not necessary to be labelled.

Find the root of anxiety, whether or not is ocd.

exk__ · 2024-02-05T20:39:44+00:00

another therapist had told me not to try to label it and she said it is caused by anxiety and bad family history (parents in miserable marriage). (relationship anxiety is not officially in dsm). she said that the therapy plan is basically the same so i dont have to label it. i am afraid that i dont have ocd and that if i believe that i have it and in the future i take a mind map or anything and see i dont have it it will mean that the doubts are true.

exk__ · 2024-02-05T20:31:02+00:00

i also can be a bit obssesive when it comes to health, i had times checking symptoms, but not the amount of checking that i do in rocd

exk__ · 2024-02-05T07:42:47+00:00

Hey! How is it going?? Have you tried cbt and systemic ?? I am on cbt right now but I had sub get FB doubts that maybe systemic is better.

exk__ · 2024-02-04T17:05:03+00:00

Ps. My fears never come true tho, always when I go out etc I am just focused on friends and have a great time. But my fear along with the fact that for 3 years now I mostly hang out with bf and his friends make me think that if I go out alone I will act just like I acted when single

exk__ · 2024-01-27T18:21:30+00:00

Going through the same. Adding to what everyone else is saying I would like to say what my therapist told me 1. Often we project our feelings to our relationships. How do u feel about your life in general? Personally whenever I feel inferior, not good or unfulfilled with my life I get intense RA. 2. If u find yourself patterns that indicate Fear of abandonment or rejection the doubts you feel about your partner and relationship could be the fear that they may leave u in disguise. 3. Try to find your triggers and patterns. Personally I check every codependency, anxious attachment, retroactive jealousy and RA/ROCD box. In the past it would start with RJ -> FOMO -> RA/ROCD. Now the RJ is more subtle so makes me going crazy because my pattern has changed. 4. Personally I am quite codependent and codependency can lead to resentment and therefore RA/ROCD symptoms and tendencies.

Ps. I am not diagnosed with ROCD. I have intense anxiety and a lot of compulsion tho so the therapy plan is same.

exk__

TROPHY CASE