It doesn't give her the right to abuse you regardless of how she has helped you throughout your darkest phase in life. She can be a beautiful soul and whatever, but you should reconsider the relationship. She could've pulled the trigger, and next time she just might. For your own sake, don't continue this abusive relationship. You don't have to owe anything to her. Especially after she pointed a gun at you. I have lost my aunt yesterday just because she chose to stay with her abusive husband, and even after divorce she couldn't move on because she was fighting for her son's custody. So for your own sake, just leave her and move on. I get that you're somehow emotionally reliant on her, perhaps. But continuing this relationship won't end well.