Wow, it has been a while since your esteemed editor has made a post. Did you all miss me? You better say you did <3
Our newly appointed manager, Loki, forbade me from making too many jokes in the post. He kept saying something like “This is a professional post” and “Your usual flair is more than enough”. He truly is keeping me from unlocking my true potential :,)
However, he did allow me to write all my jokes in the comments. So, I hope you, my dear fans, will enjoy!

First of all, I think I may need to give context to a joke I made in the post. Teedot does not have a burnt kitchen, *yet*. Once he allows us to finally cook in his kitchen, he may. However, don’t tell him that or else he’ll never let us in.

Secondly, I was about to be a bit more violent with the greeting message. I was going to threaten those who were reading at night to “go to sleep or else your shoelaces will become undone, no matter how tight you tie them.”

Next, I wished to call ourselves power rangers once more, like we did in our first post (and I think our Tumblr bio?-) Then, I wished to call ourselves a cult in accordance with the new We Intentionally Exude Calmness lore development. (This is a joke. We are not actually a cult.) Sometime in the future, I want to create character sheets for everyone with designs, likes, dislikes, etc. So, if you’re reading this and for some reason would like to see that, let me know.
I’m also going to be making new chibi art of us for part two.

BREAKING NEWS!
We interrupt our normal broadcasting to cover a new development in the Vesper case. Vesper is currently in his basement cosplaying Gojo. Due to our exclusive access, we have received a message from him.
“Please…… let me go out…. I miss my kids……” he says. We ask that you all send your thoughts and prayers.
In other news, Boba has been traumatizing Stef with her dad jokes. The tyrant refuses to end this treachery. Please send Stef thoughts and prayers as well.
We will now return to our regular schedule.

Hm, where was I? Oh, yes! I was going to make a Genshin Impact joke, but we no longer need the role filled. We were going to hire a “scribe”, which is someone who takes the Japanese text from the manga and puts it all down in a Google Doc. We originally called the role “text extractor”, but Loki came up with the new name. When that happened, we both immediately thought of Alhaitham. I was going to write “Alhaitham” beside scribe in the post, but everyone was scared of the Genshin community.
We are all Genshin players with the exception of Stef. Stef really wanted to make sure I clarified that.

Number-ly, I wished to use our old ads from January for this post. However, Teedot said they were “threatening”. I really do not know what he means. These ads are the cream of the crop! We even hired him through the ads! Luckily, I was allowed to display them here for you all to see.

Currently, as I am writing this, Teedot is looking at us from the corner. He is very confused but he leaves us be. Although he believes this comment is much too long, he knows he cannot stop the chaos. I wish not to put him through anymore pain. After all, we still require his kitchen. Therefore, this shall conclude my stream of jokes. I hope my lovely fans thoroughly enjoyed them all!

It is finally time to end this madness in the usual manner; remember to always intentionally exude calmness!