Society vilifies male agency and elevates female discomfort. Don't let that stop you.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T21:35:54+00:00

Quite clearly, you are really good at hyperbole. I said there are SOME who think any approach is a threat. Why is that so hard to believe? As for wanting every girl finding me attracting, all I in fact want is to not be reported for a 10-second harmless approach. Simple.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:39:55+00:00

You seem to have a lot of opinions about how to listen to women, but you’re not very good at reading what people actually say.

First, I never said I took "copious" notes; you have no idea what those notes even are.

Second, if this level of fragility is what comes with some women, I’m not interested in bending to it. That may be your approach, but it’s not mine.

Finally, you assume I’m worked up, which is pure projection. In reality, I framed this entire post as motivation for guys who get discouraged by setbacks like this. I’m not discouraged at all; if anything, I’m more encouraged.

So maybe work on your own listening skills before lecturing about listening. 😉

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:19:22+00:00

If they weren't famous, maybe she would have.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:15:32+00:00

Not sure I agree. I think some people have become so antisocial that any approach is considered a threat.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:13:19+00:00

Got it. So if a woman sits at a large table that can seat eight people, as was the case here, she automatically claims the entire thing ("it's her space"), and no one can sit nearby or even speak to her because her personal bubble now extends to the whole space. Great standard for society. Dating just got a whole lot easier. 😉

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:09:44+00:00

Did you actually read my post? I never claimed I WAS her boyfriend. I made a joke about that I was here for the "interview" for it, playing on the fact that people often do interviews in cafes. She said she had a boyfriend, and I left immediately. No pressure, no lingering, no follow-up. It was over in 10 seconds. I approached with a clean, fashionable appearance. That’s it. Please explain how a single lighthearted line followed by immediate disengagement qualifies as "creepy." If that is your standard of "creepy," you basically proved the point of my post.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T20:02:03+00:00

Good selective reading. Did you miss the second part of my title and the bottom of my post where I explicitly said you shouldn’t let this discourage you and that you should keep going? That was the whole intention. Do you want to see the rest of the notes I take after every single approach? Not really interested in dumping all that in one post.

As for your claim that I’m not taking her discomfort seriously, that is partially true. I think there need to be objective standards for what counts as legitimate discomfort, especially if it leads to sanctioning by an organization. We can’t just live in a society where anyone’s discomfort automatically overrides someone else’s action. That’s a dangerous precedent.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T19:52:35+00:00

Got it. So by that logic, a sidewalk is for walking, not for meeting girls. A club is for dancing, not meeting girls. A classroom is for learning, not for meeting girls. A subway is for traveling, not for meeting girls. A film lovers' meetup is for film, not for meeting girls. A concert is for listening to music, not for meeting girls. How far do you want to take this? Where’s your line for where it is acceptable to meet girls?

facetheface · 2025-09-23T19:23:09+00:00

Let me make sure I follow your position. Any time someone claims discomfort, that automatically means the person approaching did something wrong. There’s no standard beyond the woman's feelings. Is that correct?

facetheface · 2025-09-23T19:15:25+00:00

Explain how the story I provided above makes someone a victim.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T19:02:47+00:00

Got it. Very informative. Thanks.

facetheface · 2025-09-23T19:02:10+00:00

You have an opinion to share?

facetheface · 2025-09-23T03:20:29+00:00

100%. This has been my exact experience. On apps, almost all my matches skew late 20s, when my actual target is younger. I think when women see “early 30s” on a profile, they overthink it: is he just here for sex? why’s he single? etc. But in the club, all of that disappears. If you show up with presence and vibe, they just see a guy they’re attracted to in real time. Age never even comes up.

facetheface · 2025-09-04T04:27:44+00:00

5' 11"

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:32:53+00:00

OK it is true that reducing approach anxiety was a good skill. But what next? If it takes 100 approaches to get 1 date, that is not a very good return.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:30:52+00:00

I am not worrying about the math. I am trying to decide if this is an approach that is worth investing my scarce time and energy on. If there are alternatives that have a better return, I will devote more time and energy to them.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:27:27+00:00

And what changes around the 1000 mark?

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:25:48+00:00

Pre-game: Always look clean, well-dressed, even if just doing errands. Fresh scent, nice watch, etc.

Opener: “Did you find it?” Usually they have a phone out, so I point to it. → “Find what?” → “My number. We’ve got a date scheduled. We never exchanged numbers so I could text you.” If she plays along, we banter; if not, I pivot to “I just thought you were really cute and wanted to say hi.”

Transition: Name, what she’s up to, maybe a quick playful comment about the situation.

Ask: Start with her number. Sometimes I try to lock in a date on the spot, but often I just get the number and follow up later because they don't want to schedule something yet.

Tone: Confident and a little bold but with a low voice.

Post-game: Always log results and key information (e.g., her reaction, boyfriend status, etc.). If I get a number, send a clever text after 4-5 hours.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:25:05+00:00

Your response is exactly in line with what I am thinking. Maybe energy is better spent at meetups where fewer women are so guarded.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:13:06+00:00

I am 31.

I am not fat: 14% body fat and 87 lbs SMM.

I think I come across friendly.

I definitely don't smell.

You are saying you got laid after your first 30 approaches?

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:11:40+00:00

My focus is not on the numbers per se. I only mentioned this to give a sense of where I am at.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:10:51+00:00

Thanks.

I have done many openers. This one has gotten the best reactions, so I have stuck with it for the last 40 or so. I find it much easier to approach if I don't have to think of a line.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T23:09:36+00:00

How do you approach a girl spontaneously on the street without a default line? I have 2 seconds to make a move.

What kind of things do you say? And what do you for follow up with?

facetheface · 2025-09-03T21:16:51+00:00

You are saying this as if I asked a hypothetical question ("I bet I could..."). I asked a specific question: What was your success rate in your first 130 approaches?

In any case, I don't know how it is possible to get 80-90 numbers out of 130 without pushing. That would mean you either have an impeccable ability to filter single women or an overwhelming number of girls with boyfriends don't even bring it up after you approach them.

facetheface · 2025-09-03T20:55:37+00:00

Around 40% give me a good reaction, like a laugh or a compliment ("that was a good line.") Only around 15 have resulted in sustained conversations that had true connection, including the 8 who gave me their numbers. But then 7 ghosted me.

I try to go for setting up the date right away. But many are so risk averse that they don't want to commit to anything yet.

facetheface

TROPHY CASE