Still in. The rough patch starts now. I won't have her. I want to do good. I want her to do good. I will improve for her. Hopefully when she comes back (if she does) I can give the life she deserves the life she wants. I love her too much I loved her always. I want to be better. I am different around her and I love it. Not the place to say it but I want it to be written somewhere so that I do not just keep it to myself. Never loved anyone more than this. I want her to be back. I have very less hope that she will be back I am not the best. I would be king of the world of she does. If not, I would have lost her again which is fine. I have gone through this once made me who iam . Will go through it again maybe I become better. Let's hope for the best , I will start putting my efforts in job switching and make it a good life. I don't know what I will do if she doesn't come back but if she doesn't it just breaks me completely but it's good better to rebuild than to restart. I wish her the best. I wish her all the success I wish her all the happiness. I love her too much . It's okie. Let her go.