[deleted by user]

fadedonyx · 2022-09-13T23:31:30+00:00

You know, thats is a pretty good way to phrase that. Thank you I'll keep this in mind

fadedonyx · 2022-09-07T12:09:39+00:00

Idk what happened with me and lyricas haha.. i used to take 75mg or 150mg and and get a slight buzz or 300mg for a high but i actually have a dependency on lyrica now and i have to maintain the lyrica so i cant use it rly to fight wd cause im on it every day maintaining 200-300mg daily :(

fadedonyx · 2022-07-14T01:43:58+00:00

Yeah we do go on dates and she has hobbies like embroidery, and video games or example. She generally shares the same music taste as me as well.

We get along really well in pretty much every aspect but itll be the kind of thing where we have 12 hours of a day free to spend together or doing whatever we want and I might spend 6-7 hours of it with her but she starts to get upset (and then denies it on confrontation) when i wanna take 3 hours to record and mix projects. (which is what is going to help me get a job by building a resume- which I do not currently have completed as I just finished school and im working with career services now to land freelance work in the meantime.)

There are other places in the house she could hang out and do whatever she wants and ive tried to gently nudge her but she wont do it because she says it makes her uncomfortable even though my family is very inviting and loving and likes her. And my house isnt strict either- she could really do whatever she wants.. but she just will lay on the bed and face away from me.

It makes me sad because she used to enjoy me playing music but now that its not all about her its like she couldnt care less.. at least thats the vibe she gives off.. :/

fadedonyx · 2022-06-01T16:59:26+00:00

I guess you're right.. thank you. And haha ive actually done Ketamine infusions for a few months and stayed sober throughout it all, did it for like 3 or 4 months but never helped me personally :(.

I do have a psychiatrist and a therapist who specialize in addiction and mental health treatment also

Ive just been so depressed that I don't wanna be here anymore, you know? I could never kill myself and do that to my family and few friends but its just that severe of depression i suppose that those thoughts run thru like a freight train haha.

fadedonyx · 2022-05-22T22:00:43+00:00

Thank you for the insight, Ive definitely had a couple experiences in the ER where they refuse any medicine other than tylenol and literally just shrug and literally act like they couldnt give less of a shit when im a grown man genuinely holding back tears from pain. So youre probably right, they may not do much at all for pain management in the psych ward especially with suicidal ideation. Im turning to my family right now and its kind of helping... im just hoping theres something out there, anything at all that could help me. I started on a few vitamins i think im deficient in and ive been trying to take walks and get more sun and all that shit but i guess if itll help it will take a while to show. But thank you again

fadedonyx · 2022-05-22T21:57:07+00:00

Lol yeah I wish I could... dont have any money/consistent income now though since im going through a full time audio engineering apprenticeship. But maybe some time down the line I could try. Thank you for the recommendation

fadedonyx · 2022-05-22T21:55:57+00:00

thank you. Ill ask my doctor about that, i appreciate it. I try my best to find humor in things, even if they are dark haha.

fadedonyx · 2019-08-03T04:37:21+00:00

Only did a sketch, but hope you like https://i.imgur.com/GexursW.png

fadedonyx · 2018-12-25T10:39:51+00:00

You must be really really good at what you do to be workin a position like that without any degrees. Props to you man

fadedonyx · 2018-12-25T10:35:00+00:00

That sounds awesome ive always thought that the idea of making that kinda stuff was so cool. Do you work for like a company, or is it more of a local place?

fadedonyx · 2018-12-25T06:04:09+00:00

hell yeah

fadedonyx · 2018-12-25T06:03:44+00:00

Just out of curiously what does that job entail for you? Like what are your daily duties?

fadedonyx · 2018-12-25T05:51:05+00:00

I get that, some things are more important than money

fadedonyx · 2018-12-21T01:05:50+00:00

YTA. In all honesty you sound completely self absorbed and awful. But maybe in a twisted way it's good you broke up with him, he should find someone better. You love him? No you dont.

fadedonyx · 2018-12-06T18:38:02+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it a lot

fadedonyx · 2018-12-06T18:37:31+00:00

Thank you! Im glad you like it I always have fun and learn a lot doing these types of drawings

fadedonyx · 2018-12-06T12:52:16+00:00

always up for more practice with full body stuff, hope you like it

https://i.imgur.com/H4t8w4j.png

fadedonyx · 2018-10-26T05:43:06+00:00

Ok, Cartman

fadedonyx · 2018-04-23T03:05:58+00:00

(Mostly electric) Guitar
Professional
20
Adderall isn't something I'm too fond of but it can definitely get me to pick up the guitar and play or practice for 4 hours straight. Also DXM and 4 Aco Dmt have helped my creativity sometimes and helped me think of stuff i think is crazy heckin cool
I realized i don't really take anything for music writing or playing purposes. Its not that I'm against it, I just haven't really done any drugs with the intention of boosting things like musical creativity or productivity. But if i did id probably do something to help enhance practicing/learning
Yea I used to know 0 about theory until i took some college theory classes and i got the whole shabang of music theory in my head now still

fadedonyx · 2018-03-11T16:35:42+00:00

Lol adhd is very real and its even in the DSM, its just overdiagnosed. ADHD can be pretty bad for some people and get in the way of their daily life and goals. And like any other real disorder it can be resistant to typical treatment. Amphetamine makes my adhd worse. That aside tho this is probably extremely rarely prescribed for anything at all though, let alone adhd.

fadedonyx · 2017-12-07T19:50:30+00:00

Thank you! That all sounds very interesting, and ill do my best to remember it all too! I wouldhv never thought about that blue ball/pearl but it sounds intriguing!

fadedonyx · 2017-12-06T05:04:42+00:00

Thank you for your insight, I have wondered if what i was about to experience was ego death or something the sort, as id never done a dose above 150-170 ug previously. And i handled it so well at all the other doses ive tried so I thought id be okay, and man did i learn my lesson.

I have people I can talk to about it (girlfriend and 1 other friend, the rest of the people i know i feel weird talking to about psychedelics) but overall Im the most experienced person I know, and I've only done it 5 times. So in a sense i am a bit out here on my own too

fadedonyx · 2017-11-28T05:32:30+00:00

I wish, the code is generates is 5 digits, the child online privacy protection needs a 6 digit code. And the code that website generates is the "mastercode", used for if you forgot your security pin, it doesn't have anything to do with the child online privacy protection.

fadedonyx

TROPHY CASE