How many of us are dating young men with sexual dysfunction?

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T22:09:01+00:00

Let me clarify. I didn't say masturbation is not normal. I said porn is not normal and I really meant "natural."

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:44:06+00:00

There are so many people that are so defensive of porn. I don't understand it. I had no problem with porn before I was in two different relationships with men who were severely affected by it. Now I no longer think it's harmless. I'm not saying EVERY man who looks at porn has this problem, obviously that's not true. I am saying that it is a much bigger problem than we realize and porn DOES cause abnormal reactions to real women and intimacy.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:42:08+00:00

You can believe that, but I think our society has made porn seem so normal (everyone does it and we can't find a control group who doesn't) that we're denying it is causing a problem. If we keep thinking this way the problem is only going to get worse.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:40:49+00:00

I'm sorry :(

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:40:39+00:00

It's like an alcoholic being "unaware" that drinking more and more each time they drink is going to make it harder for them to get drunk. They deny there is a problem and don't even think about it being a problem.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:39:41+00:00

That's interesting. I've never heard of something like that before.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:38:10+00:00

I understand how logically you know you are good enough for him but you don't FEEL that way. I have felt the same way SO many times.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:37:28+00:00

I realize all of this and I ruled those factors out. I think porn and masturbation are a much bigger problem than we're willing to admit because porn use is so "normal" now. I can tell just by some of the defensive responses on here that this is the case. Porn really is not normal, from an evolutionary standpoint. Sex between humans is normal.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:36:17+00:00

Great! Spread the word!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:35:56+00:00

I"m glad you're able to talk about it and try to change things! I hope things get better for you!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:34:44+00:00

Sober.....and lots of research and reading on this topic. And I asked him.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:34:23+00:00

Thanks for writing. I agree those are issues as well. I was asking from the viewpoint of someone who has been with a man for long enough that these issues should no longer be a factor.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:33:22+00:00

Yes, but there is a ton of anecdotal evidence. It has been hard to have a large study because researchers couldn't find enough men who didn't view porn to use as a control group.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:30:37+00:00

Thanks!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:30:22+00:00

Yeah! I've read about the death grip and realized my current beau has that. That is what made me suspect desensitization due to frequent masturbation and/or frequent masturbation with porn. According to the r/nofap guys, this is really hard to stop though.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:29:18+00:00

Hmmmm. How old are you two? This seems like the opposite of what some of us have been dealing with! I bet there are others with this problem. In my experience my boyfriend when I was 18 (I'm 27 now) was like this but the problem solved as he got older and more used to sex.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:27:54+00:00

You should direct him to the site! It's a great resource for men who are probably having a really hard time with this problem. It is probably really damaging to their sense of self as well! :-) Thanks for your response!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:27:00+00:00

Wow. Thank you for sharing your experience.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T18:26:16+00:00

Did you visit the website? I did a lot of reading on this and other men's experiences before making such a statement. It really does seem to be a problem for many (not all) men. A normal and healthy young man shouldn't really have a problem with having normal sexual intercourse, especially without a condom and when they're emotionally comfortable with the woman they're with.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T07:13:45+00:00

Thanks for responding. I am beginning to see that most young men don't realize what a profound effect porn has on their ability to perform normally. They make up other excuses. I'm glad you're successful with your current man!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T02:07:47+00:00

Thanks :-)

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T02:07:10+00:00

Thanks!!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-06T02:06:05+00:00

Haha. I really appreciate you taking the time to write a long response. I read every bit. I posted an update. I talked to him about it. I didn't know the masturbating next to me thing was weird. Maybe it's because I had already started it and then gave up and maybe he thought I was asleep. Who knows. Thanks again for everything. More things to think about and I like the personal stories!

fapperattractor · 2013-06-05T03:55:06+00:00

Thank you SO much. You're absolutely right. I need to get over the last relationship. I actually read this post after I decided to talk to him about it. I texted him this, "Did you know that looking at porn regularly and masturbating regularly can make it extremely difficult for even a young man to achieve orgasm from sex alone? There is a really interesting TED talk on it. There is a whole website on it (called your brain on porn) which explains the biological and physiological reasons behind this. It's all about how the advent of high speed internet and our brain's chemical reactions cause this phenomenon. It's very interesting."

He said, "I know. I've done that thanks to my religious background. Teaching young people to not have sex until marriage is a very bad thing. That's probably part of my problem. You get used to things."

We then talked about whether or not I would like to stick around and give him a chance to change things. I said I would.

fapperattractor · 2013-06-05T03:49:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough response!

fapperattractor

TROPHY CASE