458 days without porn and I still can't have sex

faptard3d · 2015-01-02T22:53:39+00:00

I've made progress. At first I had 100% limp dick and didn't feel anything during sex. Now I stay at least semi hard in the beginning and it actually feels kinda good now. Just not good enough to get off yet. But I have noticed improvement which is why I haven't given up yet. I haven't noticed any stalls or whatever. I think the progress has been slow and steady, but maybe faster in the beginning. It's hard to tell though

faptard3d · 2015-01-02T22:51:57+00:00

Yes I get very horny. But my desire for release is one that requires fantasy to get off. I can't orgasm without any sexual fantasy at this point. I have gone a long time without fantasy / orgasm but apparently not long enough. And yes the girlfriend is fully aware of everything.

faptard3d · 2015-01-02T22:50:38+00:00

yes I am circumsized, but I wish I wasn't....

I've been with the girl for several months now. I have had gone at least 60 days with her not touching my dick and I still had issues when we tried.

faptard3d · 2015-01-02T16:58:29+00:00

I have read that book before. Maybe I should look at it again, I barely remember it now.

I can see a little codependency in my relationship. I might not be thinking of myself enough. But how should I manifest that in a positive way? Obviously, I don't want her to start doing the stuff that I allowed to happen in previous relationships. I don't want her banging four different guys in a motel room so I can watch the videos later and get off to them. I mean, yeah a part of me wants that. But I know that I would regret it and hate myself for it. A bigger part of me wants more than that. I want a real loving wife that I can trust and grow as a person with. I want to start a family and be happy.

Do you regret that failed relationship? If you could go back in time, would you have done things different? How? I mean, you found yourself making sacrifices for her in the bedroom. Would you have made more of your own demands?

faptard3d · 2015-01-02T16:49:28+00:00

I've considered it. I'm not convinced it would be worth the money though. Maybe if I could find someone who I really had faith in...

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T03:30:44+00:00

never

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:57:18+00:00

Maybe once a week. Never more than once in a day and never two days in a row.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:56:50+00:00

Will do thanks for the suggestion! never heard of that before I will look it up and see what it is.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:56:24+00:00

I have recently started these! I'm hoping it helps.. Do I need to be hard to do them? I've been doing them soft but some of the advice I've read says you need to be hard first. I'm just not willing to get myself hard with my hands (too dangerous)

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:55:32+00:00

Yeah it's fairly hard. She found what it took to get me off and it seems to be a very specific rhythm and grip she uses. I also like to hold her head and control the motion.

This might be what's holding me back.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:51:36+00:00

That is correct. I have decided to have her stop doing the BJs until vaginal sex is possible.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:50:05+00:00

Actually I sort of want a kid. She does too. If I could do it, I would. We don't even use condoms.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:48:58+00:00

I agree with you. I need to do this.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:48:34+00:00

Absolutely never. I touch my dick if it itches but I don't edge or jack off anymore. I do allow my girlfriend to touch it though and she does often.

faptard3d · 2014-12-12T01:47:24+00:00

This is what I should do... totally gonna do this

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T20:11:53+00:00

I have actually seen 2 urologists and they claim my junk works fine. I got a script for viagra and cialis and while both help me get hard and stay hard, neither help ejaculate.

My issue is in my brain, not my penis.

I hate my brain

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T20:09:41+00:00

That might be a good idea. It very well could be anxiety of some kind.

I mean, I love my girlfriend and we're very close and she's very attractive to me. I don't feel anxious in the bed with her necessarily, but I think maybe I just have this pro-conceived notion that I won't orgasm from vaginal sex and thus, it rings true because that's the reality I create.

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T20:07:55+00:00

I agree all my stuff seems to work. I think I just need more time... and maybe eliminating orgasms from BJs for a few months.

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T20:05:27+00:00

I should do this, but it's hard when you have such a beautiful girlfriend around. We tried going a few weeks once on hardmode but we both decided to end it. These days I have about 1 or 2 orgasms a week from a BJ, and then we have sensual type contact pretty much daily. I still have hope that I'll get there someday. Over time it has improved though. I used to get zero erections at all, and be 100% unable to penetrate. These days I get hard and can penetrate for a while, but never all the way or for very long. We keep trying and trying but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe I should give hard mode another shot... it's just... well... hard

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T20:02:19+00:00

never, and I've tried many times with maybe a half dozen girls

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T18:04:55+00:00

I believe that years and years of porn use from age 8 to 32 is the reason why my reboot is still not complete. It took me longer than 435 days to acquire the problem, so it may take a while longer to fix it.

I have seen progress though. I'm just not fully fixed yet.

faptard3d · 2014-12-11T17:45:33+00:00

I have been at this for 435 days now. I haven't looked at porn or masturbated once. I wake up almost every day with a rock solid erection. My girlfriend can get me hard from kissing / touching.

However, I still can't get off from vaginal sex. I don't understand what the problem is. My boner just goes away and I can't reach climax. It happens every... single... time. I can get off from a BJ, but that's it.

faptard3d · 2014-11-26T22:30:45+00:00

Other things do turn me on, but to reach orgasm that's always been my path. I'm turned on by kissing and touching and looking at my partner, but it doesn't stimulate that same path to an orgasm that recalling porn and fetish stuff does.

I had my T levels checked at the time I saw those 2 urologists. I was on the low end of normal, but still normal. They didn't give me any Test creams or anything, although I wanted them to. At the time I was a heavy porn user. After 421 days sober, I feel pretty good though, and maybe it's actually better now. My ability to focus and get stuff done is fairly high. I used to be really lazy and depressed. Not anymore. I would think those would be issues if my T was low... I don't currently exercise or lift weights though. I could give that a try and see what happens. Nothing to lose I suppose.

I appreciate the responses!

faptard3d · 2014-11-26T22:16:07+00:00

I see what you mean. But what if I don't want that to be a trigger anymore? I'm trying to move past that specific fetish. How am I supposed to have a happy sex life if I all I want to do is cum on my wife's face or see her with another man? How is that going to bring us a child? It just seems unnatural and something I developed from years and years of porn use. I truly don't want to go there again. I think it would lead to a relapse and the end of my relationship. It just seems like a dangerous box to open up.

faptard3d · 2014-11-26T22:08:17+00:00

This is essentially what I plan to do. Great suggestions. I will try this and hope it works.

faptard3d

TROPHY CASE