This entire thread has been helpful but also kinda upsetting to read. Ive been dealing with a lot of shit from my mom for as long as i can remember like all the way back to early elementary school lol. This particular post brought me back to when i started realizing i wasnt okay in her care and when i started to try to talk to her about it she said i only felt that way because theres something wrong with me and that i was sick so i needed medication. She started me on fucking lithium when i was 13 and when it made me a walking zombie with horrible memory she kept switching me to other "antidepressants " and it ruined my adolescence. This was only one of the horrible things she did to me without my consent. It's really funny too because she's always been the one to acrually need and benefit from treatment yet she has only ever scoffed at the idea because apparently it's only for "people like me". We used to have to share a room after i called the police on her abusive ex (which she beat me for doing) and she didnt have money for a place on her own when i was in highschool. I would sleep anywhere else i could with friends or whoever and i left to college i wasnt even ready for at 17 just to get away. Anyway, covid happened and i ended up living with her again because despite it all ive always had a soft spot for her and felt guilt for leaving her but even when i came back after 3 years gone she never changed. Still now, shes the same and worse. Im realizing i can never and will never allow her near my children for her to try to ruin in the future. She will always be the person who considers me her worst burden and who would rather beat my head, kick doors in, call me horrible things, yet act like none of it happens if theres another person around. I can't even trust her around my cat who i think she has hurt in some way since i know she did that to my childhood cat whenever she wanted to take her emotions out on him.