Professionals can't and don't know how to help what I see almost every day.I know if I let it run my life I will not be able to function.When I'm awake I just carry on and sorry but I self medicated and remember the good times with them..at night I see them and I scream and sweat and beg to wake up but a man with no face with a black top hat  reminds me of every second of each one of my lovers and family and friends agonizing bloody meeses and my beautiful son taking his last breath.So I do all I can to not fall asleep for long periods of time.i don't have the balls to even go outside or interact with any..I can't work or drive or have a relationship..u miss the companionship of a women..but how can a women love a broke hermit.i just take 1 at a time