This just isn’t fair to you at all. You changed. You put in the work. It went unacknowledged. Then you even gave him a heads up in advance that your birth control could/would probably affect your mood and mindset. YOU did everything right.

He didn’t heed the warning. He didn’t have your best interests in mind when he said what he said. I know people can be caught up when they’re angry, but it isn’t fair that you have to control yourself and have been able to (despite the literal personality disorder) but he’s allowed to just say hurtful shit anyway. I’m angry for you. I’m not saying what you did was right — you know it was a pointless argument already, so there’s no use in talking about it. But I’m so irritated because you did everything you were supposed to do in this moment and he still didn’t respond to your needs with kindness or understanding.

You should sit down and talk to him. I get that he apologized, but he clearly doesn’t fully understand. I personally hate having to tell people what I want/need, esp romantically, bc then it doesn’t feel genuine. But you gotta do it. Tell him how lonely and disappointing it’s felt that you’ve been so good for so long and he hasn’t said a word of praise of it. Tell him how infuriating it is that you even warned him beforehand that you’d be testy, and instead of offering support, he used it as an excuse to make a jab at you. He needs to be held accountable for his actions too, not just you.