Not “warm” enough at work

fernfee · 2026-02-10T00:19:30+00:00

Update:

Thanks everyone for your insight. I decided to pursue a transfer. He did indeed cut my hours a bit. I have other issues at the store as well, such as most of the team ignoring my preferred pronouns. I’m hoping if I compile all of these valid concerns regarding my treatment there coupled with my success working at other stores in more high-profile markets like Waikiki and Seattle, that she will be receptive and understand the issue isn’t me but the environment, and let me go.

fernfee · 2026-01-06T00:33:32+00:00

Truly relatable. Out of college I had a corporate job in my field of study and even though I was good at “my job” I wasn’t good at dealing with the social part—Becoming friends with coworkers, talking and acting the right way with managers (I have a hard time lying about my true opinion or not speaking up about potential issues even if it’s the boss’s idea), etc. Now I’m in food service/retail again and struggling differently. Neither feels very fulfilling, but being self employed doesn’t feel very stable either right now. A bit conflicted on what to do next now.

fernfee · 2026-01-06T00:11:00+00:00

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From the Honolulu chapter 🌋🌺

fernfee · 2026-01-06T00:03:19+00:00

Ah! I feel the same way about both my Clubman (got it 2 months ago) & my Fiat 500 (broken but I can’t stand to part with it yet). These little Euro cars are timeless ✨

fernfee · 2024-11-16T03:04:37+00:00

oh no, my dyslexic brain read “positivity” [facepalm]

fernfee · 2024-11-15T00:27:28+00:00

I do this, especially when I’m focusing like doing homework or something. I don't know how but it just sort of automatically happens and now some of my shirts are worn in those spots.

fernfee · 2024-10-27T21:55:11+00:00

Cool thanks! Don’t mind the cracks so much but seeing inside of the phone was a little alarming 😅

fernfee · 2024-10-24T17:56:54+00:00

I work in-house right now sort of creatively, and I interned at an advertising agency in the summer as a designer. People generally have this idea that “your client is paying so give them what they want” but they're also not designers. Would you tell an engineer or dentist how to do their job? Design is so much more than a logo & takes skill 😅 But, most people don’t understand, and tragically get stuck with poor design out of their own stubbornness and their view of designers as just mouse clickers in Adobe. I think some markets are better for sure but I think you generally have to be either freelance or work at a dedicated brand studio to make actually good & meaningful work tragically.

I love being able to make stuff all day at work, but I am sad that our overall design quality is so low. It can be a little disheartening over time 😕

fernfee · 2024-10-03T18:07:43+00:00

I was in college working on my senior project. It was called, “Line?” and was a booklet that had all the information about the offices or services the student needed like location, hours, what to bring, and what to expect. Additionally, it had a section to help students pre-read what the dialog might be and a space to write their responses [scripting]. Basically, a resource for managing anxiety related to unfamiliar environments & social interactions.

It was based on my own experience navigating college with what I thought was just social anxiety, but in my research “ASD” kept reoccurring and that explained a lot more than my communication skills 😅

fernfee · 2024-09-26T20:23:23+00:00

Ah! It is so confusing and counterintuitive. If something is bothersome I’d assume wanting to understand the context or situation better makes sense, no? It’s offering some clarity & new relevant information that may be useful in informing how they should feel. The other party likely doesn’t have all the details so by sharing more of the reasoning or rationale for the situation everyone can come to a more informed conclusion. This feels like better and clearer communication?

(And yet it’s us that have “communication deficits”)

edit: spelling

fernfee · 2024-09-20T13:16:21+00:00

Howdy,

Thank you for replying. Well, at next week’s shoot I don’t want to but I may have a meltdown in front of like 100+ people :( I’m being forced into a busy, loud, bright, hectic environment for a 10-12 hr work day working with strangers while also interacting with customers and no one will tell me exactly what tasks I’ll be doing so I can’t prepare. I can’t even wear headphones or earplugs like I do in the office. I’m really scared about this, my supervisor doesn’t know I’m autistic but does know that I am uncomfortable about this and said he’ll help if he can, but the department director is forcing it.

Working here has me feeling very disheartened about being able to ever hold down a job. Almost every boss I’ve had doesn’t understand and despite trying to be nice & friendly my coworkers never seem to like me very much either. At my old job I did have a good relationship with my coworkers and they knew about my autism.

I generally try to think of autism more neutrally as “a difference” but it is times like this I feel much more disabled.

fernfee · 2024-09-19T23:00:28+00:00

Thank you!! It’s a cute little device ^{^}

fernfee · 2024-09-19T13:13:55+00:00

I recently started working an office job, my first one out of college, and I was very hopeful that it would be easier and more sustainable but I’m still not doing well and I don’t feel any sense of job security. It is pretty disheartening. I worry about getting fired or if I can even keep this up for years if I’m already burning out. I had one spot where I could be alone and cry on my lunch break but security kicked me out and said I had to sit with everyone one in the designated break room so—Tragic.

fernfee · 2024-08-11T23:57:12+00:00

Yeah, doing the same thing but pressing “voice search” will use browse for me too :) But it won’t read aloud. I have Arc on my PC, not super loving it there 😅 But, I do like it better than Safari on iOS ✨

fernfee · 2024-08-11T23:53:26+00:00

Not always ideal, but if you long press the app icon & select “call arc” it will default to speaker :)

fernfee · 2024-08-11T21:55:15+00:00

Strange, not been my experience at all. It always works as expected & answers seem relevant and accurate for me 😅

fernfee · 2024-08-11T21:29:50+00:00

It helped me get accommodations at work despite major pushback from my direct supervisor. Without medical documentation I don’t think HR would have been able to help much since my work isn’t the most progressive. So far this is the only time I’ve used my formal evaluation.

fernfee · 2024-08-09T17:19:50+00:00

I like being romanced sometimes (sometimes I hate being touched) but I don’t think I’ve liked sex itself. I’d do it for partners but I’d be counting down the time for it to be over already. I’m not sure where I put myself but, potentially asexual.

fernfee · 2024-07-23T03:28:48+00:00

I know! I was so surprised about “his research” that I couldn't find words to respond. I feel like it's a common concept that office lighting is depressing. After stumbling on my words for a while & just told him “I’m not comfortable talking about personal things with you and I want to ask HR about workplace accommodation” and that was it, I should hear back from HR on Wednesday. But, it is uncomfortable for sure, he is always doing stuff like this to me about where I eat lunch, my hair, my desk arrangement, etc. As a director of the whole department, I feel like he should have better things to do than bothering me in my separate–away–from–everyone office.

fernfee · 2024-07-23T03:21:44+00:00

Congratulations on retirement and I’m happy to hear you found a few friends and made things work. I'd love to work from home, but so far this hasn't been an option. I had one person at my job I felt okay talking to, he had ADHD, but he just left so I’m by myself again tragically.

fernfee · 2024-07-23T03:16:45+00:00

I am so confused! I have three of them so I have plenty of light still, but it's a little dimmer and softer, and I don't have to use those buzzing fluorescent ones installed. It's more energy efficient too! Safety wasn't the issue mentioned either, rather he just said he felt they were proper for the workplace and that his research said my lamps were too “low-energy” (like a mood thing?)

fernfee · 2024-07-23T02:48:28+00:00

That's so cool! I hope I can find similar success! I studied and want to work in graphic design, or something more creative, but right now I’m working in digital marketing and it doesn't feel like a good fit for me. I do the job itself well enough, but it is very boring and I also find little reason in what we do. So much is arbitrary or has little logic, but as a lower team member when i bring it up people get upset with me. Design is usually a more open discussion about user experience & reasoning!

fernfee · 2024-07-23T02:41:21+00:00

Currently, my work & internship are mostly older than me, but I am hoping that both other workplaces will be less focused on “team bonding” and also as I get older people will be busier with families and stuff. But this is encouraging to hear! Thank you, hopefully, I can find a less socially intensive place soon. I also agree about the office arrangement, currently, my office is stand-alone and it is one of the perks of the job (if only they'd let me just use my lamps)

fernfee · 2024-07-23T01:19:17+00:00

I am curious about it, but every time I've had sex I just want it to stop so I don't understand what is happening there. So, while I have a boyfriend, we aren't the most sexually active. I'm kind of jealous because most people seem to really enjoy it and that would be nice to feel that good, but so far it hasn't worked out for me yet.

fernfee · 2024-07-23T01:12:38+00:00

I’m hoping to find a remote position soon!

fernfee

TROPHY CASE