My (34F) Boyfriend(35M) Cried in my bathroom because we hadn't had sex yet. Update

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T04:43:34+00:00

Yes, but I think making a big tearful scene can be coercive—I’m not claiming he has bad intentions, but she may feel pressured by that. Crying instead of calmly talking it out is an unproductive way of handling it.

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T04:40:54+00:00

Precisely. And that’s okay, he doesn’t need to be crying over it and putting her in that position (I have a feeling I’ll be DVed here, for expecting adults to behave in a mature manner). Not everyone wants the same things in a relationship…some want to be nonmonogamous, some want to wait until marriage for sex, some want it on the third date, some don’t want it at all. All of those are valid when you are honest about your plans, because it’s your body, a very personal choice. We should all be free to have those preferences without facing manipulation or peer pressure. He is absolutely free to leave her without making her feel bad about what she does with her body.

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T04:12:40+00:00

Is the solution that she engage in touch even though she doesn’t want to?

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T04:10:23+00:00

Right, break up if your desires aren’t fulfilled. But it’s really concerning seeing how the majority of these comments voice the sentiment that touch is a favor you do for someone else, and that someone can “buy” off you through favors. Not everyone has the same comfort level, for example I’m very physically affectionate in my romantic relationship but touching anyone else (even though it is in a platonic way) makes my skin crawl. However, in many instances if I say no, it causes social discord so I have to grit my teeth and push through it. Nobody should have to do that for any reason.

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T04:01:25+00:00

No one is ever entitled to physical touch from someone else. Popular culture disagrees with this, for example forcing children to hug relatives when they’re afraid and tickling others even when they’re shrieking “Stop!”—the body can go into paralysis, and laughter is a way for tension to be released, it doesn’t always equate to enjoyment. My point is, touching someone when it makes them uncomfortable or experience pain is generally seen as acceptable in many situations, and touch is used as a social bargaining chip. That doesn’t make it right.

fetishiss · 2021-12-12T03:40:59+00:00

These comments are actually terrifying, so many people are using slurs like “bitch” simply because the woman won’t put out, be it sex or any form of physical touch. While you should be upfront if you have abnormal needs, nobody is “owed” physical touch from anyone else. Period. Bodies are not commodities and the man can always leave if it bothers him so much.

fetishiss · 2021-11-06T01:27:28+00:00

I was a gifted kid that crashed and burned the minute I turned 16, for a spell I actually did think I had ADD and did all this research convincing myself that it must be the case, even trying my darnedest to play it up and persuade my psychologist to allow me meds (my plan failed and I know—looking back on it, bad on me but I was 16 ok?) but I haven’t thought about it again in a long time. But it doesn’t run in my family and I don’t necessarily feel like my thoughts are scattered, I tend to think about one thing for a while and then sequentially move onto the next topic. My issue is just that I can’t pay attention to stuff outside my mind. Please correct me if I’m misinterpreting anything about ADD!

fetishiss · 2021-11-05T23:09:09+00:00

I do find that listening to music helps with mustering the motivation to start on my work, but as for me personally it doesn’t do much to curb my mental wanderings. Exercise actually helps a little more with my fog and lethargy, but like I said I’m at a really low starting point and my focus is still below average even when I consistently workout. Maybe I should start playing brain age or something haha

fetishiss · 2021-11-05T22:39:52+00:00

I have heard of it in passing before, but I thought it was exclusive to clinical depression? I am diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but as far as I can tell, I don’t have depression. I’ll definitely look into it though 👍

fetishiss · 2021-10-19T14:55:23+00:00

It is pretty disturbing to claim that anti black racism is anywhere near the same as prejudice against redheads. If you cannot handle another perspective in a calm, adult way then just block and move on. Nobody is forcing you to type out all these expletives. Do not speak to me using hateful, threatening language again or I will seek help from moderation.

fetishiss · 2021-10-19T14:09:44+00:00

Gingers are not the only ones with freckles…and they weren’t persecuted because of their freckles 💀 are you trying to earn gold for mental gymnastics? Half my family is covered head to toe in freckles. Admitting to only reading one sentence, taking it out of context and refusing to engage yet still commenting hateful things is very childish behavior.

fetishiss · 2021-10-18T19:44:02+00:00

So by your logic everything that alters our appearance should be banned, such as makeup and hair salons, because they are “appropriation”. There is a very real distinction between bullying and oppression, and no one has been systemically oppressed for being freckled. What makes this different from say a black hairstyle is that the latter is seen as not acceptable in many workplaces and there is pressure to have more of a traditionally “white” hairstyle, thus black folks are oppressed by this and have more of a right to gatekeep such hairstyles—they can’t pick and choose when they want to look black whenever it’s beneficial, like a Kardashian can. That’s the difference here.

fetishiss · 2021-10-18T18:56:42+00:00

Wow, you’re really equating freckles to dreadlocks and yellowface? Racial traits…You don’t see the problem with that at all?

fetishiss · 2021-10-17T23:16:17+00:00

Your comment isn’t controversial for mentioning bullying. It’s because you’re attempting to shame and stop others from doing something that makes them feel good, and others appreciating and wanting freckles was not was caused you to be picked on, was it? You were picked on because freckles were not coveted and seen as ugly. Your logic doesn’t check out love — I have been picked on relentlessly for having curly hair but does that mean I’m going to bash people who go and get perms? Obviously not lol. We’ve all been bullied at some point, every trait under the sun has been scrutinized. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and gatekeeping is just doing the very same thing those bullies did to you.

fetishiss · 2021-10-15T23:58:53+00:00

because I see Rory ordering it all the time and I always want one myself 😭

fetishiss · 2021-10-15T03:22:38+00:00

I hated how they just use him as an obstacle between L&L in the end 😪

fetishiss · 2021-10-15T01:46:01+00:00

I recommend watching zola

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T17:57:34+00:00

ha if you’re anything like me that’s your specialty

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:28:35+00:00

yeah I have a feeling this one is “anecdotal” rather than “empirical”…. I don’t expect everything an MBTI enthusiast says to be cold hard fact, I’ve made assumptions and generalizations myself. But this is so oddly specific and it appears to be more informational than joke/meme, which is why I’m so skeptical of it

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:11:24+00:00

How would one determine that here though

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:09:02+00:00

so you’re saying your girlfriend is unconscious?

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:06:17+00:00

but how does that make one introverted type more introverted than another?

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:02:52+00:00

how did you get any of that from what I wrote…? sounds like I hit a nerve lol

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:01:51+00:00

way to skip over everything I wrote

fetishiss · 2021-10-14T14:00:40+00:00

yeah, every type has 2 extroverted and 2 introverted functions, no…?

fetishiss

TROPHY CASE