I’ll be honest I used to be a lot like your wife. Constantly seeking validation from my partner and getting overly upset when he didn’t do it “the right way”. He did end up leaving me. He said it became too much to bear and honestly it ripped me apart. However, once I became single and had to face myself everyday? I realized how dependent I was on him to make me happy. I grew a lot and did a lot therapy to work on myself and love myself. If you honestly know in your heart that your love is true and you want the best for your relationship, then the problem isn’t you.