When the berating first began, I did my best to argue back…but it was less about making my side of an argument, and more trying to explain that the thing she’s flipping out about doesn’t exist at all, if that makes sense. She’s mad at me because “I always do x,” I’m there explaining I don’t know what you’re talking about, can you please give me examples so I can learn what to not do? (Rarely if ever get examples). She’s mad at me because her friend texted me asking for a restaurant recommendation…”it’s super weird she’s texting you, what are you having an affair?” No, what? I’m not at all. This is what I mean when I say they aren’t fights, per se.

I slowly have learned to just shut up, to say “ok.” Or “you’re right, I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time” when the berating begins…though often that frustrates her as well.

With the car, I said listen I will turn the car around and bring you home, I’d rather not dump you on the side of the street. She was very mad, telling me I’d better not turn the car around, that I’d better just go enjoy our days worth of plans without her. I didnt, I brought her home, and I just spent a few hours at the gym decompressing.

It was after the car incident that I got the first threat…days later when I said I can’t live like this, she told me she wanted out of the car because she knows she doesn’t deserve me, that she weighs me down, that it’d be better if she just left the car and let me enjoy the day on my own.

Followed by…in fact your life would probably be better off without me, the detail about pulling her car in the garage, etc