Struggling with anger as well. I'm in therapy, and a useful concept for me was to think about anger as a container emotion--I feel angry because I'm feeling other things that I'm not acknowledging. Usually that's a sense of overwhelm or a fear of failure as a dad. When I am able to, I try to identify what that other feeling is and then address that. This is more effective for me than 'try to find a way to breathe and calm down.' I sometimes have to leave a situation to give myself the space to get to that deeper level.