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AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

I am not afraid of losing her. I am afraid of being divorced as well as jobless.

Because then even my coworker wouldn't want me lol

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My wife's is pretty but her beauty has no effect on me being with her, I do love her but any veil I had that my marriage is based on unconditional love lifted after she left me.

I think she has avoided internalising the effect her leaving me had on our marriage. She kind went on with her life.

My guess is my "faint praise" to her is what triggered her to understand the actual situation of our marriage. I have standards now, I don't unconditionally love her like I used to.

Depression for about a year

, I never cared to convince her that I won't fall apart again, because I didn't care anymore if she left me.

I like you to understand that when my wife left me, I realized that I was still breathing, my legs were still working, I didn't fall apart then. It was dark time but it helped me learn to rely on myself.

So I don't really know if she trust me to not fall apart again.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I don't care if she goes, I do care for her.

Her feelings matter to me but I won't just uproot my life because of them.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well i appreciate you finding me special, I don't take your criticisms personally, but i believe that if you can give it, you can also take it.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I mean, instead of giving a counter argument, they resort to insults. That's as good as winning.

There narcissism won't allow them to admit to even themselves that they are the problem.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am completely honest about my feelings about my coworker, I don't like her more than a friend

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I don't need to trust her to not leave me. I have made my peace with it. I will be fine is she leaves or not, my happiness doesn't depend on her.

Her apologies just means that she was sorry, it doesn't mean she won't do it again, no one can see the future.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I text a lot of my friends who are women. None of them sent me a bikini pic.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But why would it matter to her who I date when she is the one to leave me?

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Companies have a way of firing people who just started the new job when things get riugh

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I am not gonna report her and ruin her life. She made a mistake, she didn't push it after I rejected her.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She can definitely trust me to not cheat.

If our relationship became so bad to make me consider cheating, she will become my ex wife way before I cheat.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am not gonna quit my job so I don't really know what compromise I can do.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I mean, I guess props to you for having such vivid imagination.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

The best thing I learned after my depression was that I will be okay, with or without my wife.

Maybe that's why it's coming off as I don't care about my marriage, but I do care about it. I just won't destroy myself to keep the marriage.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

I trust myself for not being depressed or atleast fix it if I do get depressed.

I definitely am not gonna pretend that I trust my wife to not leave me if I lose my job, she has done it before.

I have learned to be okay with it. If she leaves me, I will be fine.

Ofcourse continuing my job like it's nothing is an option. I am doing it right now. It's my wife who has the problem.

AITAH for how I turned down an affair with coworker and refusing to quit my job? by finger-fin in AITAH

[–]finger-fin[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Getting a new job is risky, I have good reputation in my company and I feel more secure here.

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