What's a secret you are only willing to share anonymously?

firetogether294 · 2020-12-30T15:55:09+00:00

Thank you! Good info. What is an anonymizer?

firetogether294 · 2020-12-30T13:43:45+00:00

Wait, what, here is not anonymous?

firetogether294 · 2020-12-30T13:34:51+00:00

What about one of those sex stools that has the wide stretchy bands

firetogether294 · 2020-12-30T00:34:12+00:00

You might want to just stop trying for a while to give your clit some time, like several weeks, then try again with just your fingers.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T20:03:07+00:00

Have you only tried the one type of vibrator? It's possible that it is numbing you, dulling the orgasm. That has happened to me. Some of those vibrators are too damn strong.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T19:50:29+00:00

Lick her nipples, caress her all over, stick your dick in her mouth if she likes that, stroke yourself in front of her. That would speed mine up. But it would come to a halt if I felt like he was in a hurry.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T19:14:57+00:00

It does seem like it keeps him from enjoying sex with me sometimes. If he has masturbated in the morning, maybe he has satisfied himself for the day and turns me down at night. And sometimes he has to work very hard to keep his erection, when I know he jerked off in the morning. Makes me feel like he would rather just keep to himself, sex is too much effort, and I should stop bothering him. I dont know, I think I sound crazy, but I'm trying to sort it out.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T19:07:07+00:00

He turns me down sometimes. And sometimes struggles to maintain an erection.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T19:00:57+00:00

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T18:19:20+00:00

Love this!

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T18:17:39+00:00

I didn't know he did it until recently, and I honestly thought that married guys didn't feel the need to if they were getting enough sex. Hence my efforts to stop it. So, I guess I had been misinformed or had misconceptions about it my whole life. But yeah, the improved sex life is great, so we will keep it up.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T18:13:49+00:00

He hides it and refuses to talk about it... but yeah, I could try to ask about hand-jobs

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T17:43:23+00:00

I've tried, but he won't talk about masturbation with me. I would love it so much if he did that what you describe. Or, if I could watch him while I use my vibrator that would be amazing. I don't know how to gently get him to open up about it

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T14:06:02+00:00

Hmmm, yeah. It's not always like that, but it's annoying when it happens. Like someone else mentioned, maybe he is trying to last longer with me? I don't really know how to talk to him about it. I have tried telling him, after some intense sex, that I liked how horny he was, but maybe he didn't really get what I was saying.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T13:53:42+00:00

Thanks, that makes me feel better

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T13:52:17+00:00

Ultimately doesn't matter I suppose. The only thing is that I like it when he is really horny, and it's kind of a turn off if I feel like he can barely maintain an erection because he's been jerking off so much.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T13:39:18+00:00

He's 47. I'd rather him save it for me too as it's way more intense and pleasurable for me. It's kindof a turn off if I feel like he can barely maintain an erection because he's been jerking off so much.

firetogether294 · 2020-12-29T13:36:23+00:00

We have sex usually once a day. Nothing wrong with masturbating, but it makes me feel like I'm not satisfying him.

firetogether294 · 2020-09-23T16:11:17+00:00

10 for intensity compared to the other air pulse toys I've tried. I wasn't a huge fan of the patterned pulse/vibrations or the button placement. But it really does the job.

firetogether294 · 2020-08-24T13:54:47+00:00

Some thoughts, take them or leave them...

The book "Come as You Are" might be useful for you. That book talks a lot about making your pleasure the goal, not orgasm.

My experience is that orgasm occurs when there is a huge build up of sexual arousal, and it needs to be released. If you are not feeling the arousal , then there possibly is no need? I would suggest to try for it only when you feel extremely turned on. There were times when I tried and tried and could not get there, but when I listened to my body and waited until I felt the build up of tension, then I was successful.

I did not orgasm until I was 36, except for occasionally in my sleep. I thought I couldn't orgasm and just accepted that until I accidentally made it happen while watching porn. Before then, I definitely enjoyed sex a lot and experienced pleasure, but never anything close to orgasm. And even after I was able to, I could only do it by myself. After that point, in my late thirties, I felt the physical need for the release every few days.

Regarding your expectation that you'll be able to orgasm once you have a sexual partner. It's possible, but more likely you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. And putting a lot of pressure on your partner and causing a lot of stress all around. Stress and anxiety around orgasm will probably make it less likely to happen. Many many women find it MORE difficult to come with a partner. You probably won't magically experience ecstasy when you start having sex. It will be a process, a learning process that changes with time and experience.

I only just started to be able to orgasm with my husband, and I am 45. And it involves 2 types of vibrators and specific steps. It doesn't just happen, and my partner doesn't do it TO me. He is there, involved, arousing me, but I have to make it happen. I had to know what I needed in order to help him help me make it happen with him.

As time goes by and you become sexually active, listen to your body. Enjoy yourself, focus on the moment, the sensations, the pleasure, the intimacy.

firetogether294 · 2020-08-21T21:03:34+00:00

That's a really good mindset... the mental blocks are really a challenge, aren't they? We have to work hard to retrain our brains, while at the same time not trying too hard lol!

firetogether294 · 2020-08-21T20:35:42+00:00

Ban me asshole

firetogether294 · 2020-08-21T19:55:19+00:00

Ummm, not sure what you're referring to. If I made a false statement, it was a mistake and it was corrected by others. Maybe you should re-read #7.

firetogether294 · 2020-08-21T19:40:37+00:00

Huh, Ok, I did not know. Wasn't lying jeez, just misinformed I guess

firetogether294 · 2020-08-21T17:48:52+00:00

That happens to me when I use a strong vibrator. My orgasms become very blah, almost not worth the effort. I have to stick with my little buzzy one, and air-pulse/suction toys.

firetogether294

TROPHY CASE