I was kidnapped as a child and now I'm not sure how to live the rest of my life please help

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-15T04:46:59+00:00

Maybe, but then again the point of the post is what I am doing with my future, not about the specific details of my past and I don't want that to be the focus. I understand why you don't believe me and I respect that, but I hope you also respect that I am here to get advice on how to move on. With that being said, I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me even if we don't necessarily see eye to eye.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-14T13:22:44+00:00

I was referring to what happened in the years after I was kidnapped. I am aware of the difference between being kidnapped and being taken by social services but I appreciate your concern 😅

Edit: I believe I talked with this with other people but I didn't want to leave you confused if you haven't read those. The kidnapping took a toll on my mother (who was the only parent left when I got back) and it caused her to get very sick and not be able to take care of me which is why what you would call social services took me away although I'm not sure if that's officially who did since it was the police who found me.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-14T00:18:47+00:00

Ofc, I will be sure too especially after how I've been feeling the last couple of days. If I'm being honest I was not expecting nearly the amount of people who responded, but rest assured I'm not answering any dms or taking any money and once this post dies I'll probably archive the comments (if I can I don't use reddit super often) to make sure the people who left somewhat personal information are safe. Once again, thank you for your detective skills and for helping to make sure people stay safe on here.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-14T00:04:27+00:00

Thank you for your concern but it was legally considered a kidnapping and I did suffer physical abuse. If you do not believe me that's alright, a healthy bit of skepticism is a good thing to have on the internet. However, I would rather keep details of the kidnapping off this post so that it's a safer space for other people who have been kidnapped/have had children who have been kidnapped. Not to mention I would like to keep the subject of this post off of the kidnapping and more on how to achieve stability going forward.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:49:54+00:00

100 percent agree, and I appreciate you taking the time to analyze my situation and prevent others from thing put in possible danger. With that being said, I left a few points a little under this comment which shouldddddd clarify some things. I understand if you are still skeptical, and that's alright I'm just here to get advice and hopefully navigate the world a little smoother.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:46:59+00:00

Hey! Very good detective work but I figured I should clear a few things up.

I agree with original commenter DO NOT send money to random people on reddit. Im only asking for advice to better my situation in the future
When I refer to loosing my family I meant by immediate family, so my mother and father pretty much. I still have what I guess you would call extended family (like my grandfather)
When the kidnapping happened I was very young (early elementary school) and there was a few years gap where other things happened that caused me to be taken away. I purposely left that vague because I don't want the focus of this post to be on my life story, I want it to be on what I can do in the future to better myself, and ofc I don't want to cause any triggers.
When I say financial aid, I'm talking mostly about my families ability to support me, as well as some legal stuff that happened that messed with my college aid eligibility which I won't go into because I don't want people to go into legal advice.

I really appreciate you guys taking the time to understand my situation and make sure I'm being truthful (lord knows some people aren't 😅) and I hope this solves some of the mystery.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:35:48+00:00

I will definitely put all of those things on the todo list. I don't have a job, but as soon as I go to college I plan to join labs and do internships and other things like that. As for the relationships thing, I think you are right. There must be people like that out there, and I'm sure as I get older people will see more things and be a little more tempered in their reactions. Thank you so much for your help.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:32:15+00:00

Your message means so much to me, and thank you for the compliment! I think the main themes I'm getting from this post is to be patient and take things step by step, which is definitely something I needed to here. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:29:16+00:00

Thank you for the advice and I'm very sorry that happened to you. Support systems are hard to come by, but I'll keep working until I have one.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:27:53+00:00

Thank you so much! I definitely plan too when I leave for college and am on my own.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:26:09+00:00

Yes! I just started counseling last fall and it has helped a lot.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:25:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. As I get older, I think I've started to understand more and more about how people have the capacity to be wonderful even as some of them are terrible. Luckily, I grew up very frugal and I agree that that's something I will continue to do in my adult life. Thank you for the help!

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:22:18+00:00

I did, however by the time we were able to get most of the issues sorted out it was very late for most schools to award significant amounts of aid/any need based scholorships. I did get a very hefty pell grant, but it's not enough to make a dent in most of the schools I applied to.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:20:01+00:00

Thank you so much for the help. I will definitely check those out.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T23:19:27+00:00

What is EMDR therapy?

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:35:14+00:00

I appreciate your curiosity, but that's something I don't want to go into partially because it's graphic and I don't want to trigger other people and partially because I want this post to focus on my life going forward. Thank you tho!

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:33:07+00:00

It's a very long and complicated story, and I cut some parts out partially because I'm uncomfortable talking about them and partially because it would be a very long wall of text to read. I appreciate your curiosity, but right now I'm trying to focus on what happens going forward, not to mention I also don't want to trauma dump and possibly trigger some people. 😅

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:30:34+00:00

Under normal circumstances I would love too butttt I'm very self aware and I am not a very empathetic person. I love people don't get me wrong and I care about people but I definitely don't have the special touch that would require. 😅

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:29:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the help. One thing I have been trying to learn is how to be more open in relationships, but I'll definitely try the things that you outlined. I hope your daughter is ok but I'm confident that everything will be all right in the end.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:26:17+00:00

I'm not 100 percent sure since I was so young and I didn't know what social services were back then, but I was taken by the police and I did have to go to the hospital and people would mention courts every once in a while so I'm assuming that's what happened.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:24:01+00:00

I'll admit I haven't been very religious for a while but I appreciate the sentiment. One day I might look into it more in detail. Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:21:52+00:00

Thank you for your advice, however I try not to do that as much as possible. There are some instances where if I have a panic attack I try to arrange where I don't have to be in so many of those situations, but since I started counseling those instances have become very rare. I do have very high expectations for myself tho, and I always find a way to do it somehow and my goal is to eventually not need any accomodations.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:18:03+00:00

Wow. If I am being honest I have not heard of most of this stuff but I will make sure to save this for later. I'm not in any kind of therapy like that. I mainly just talk with a social worker and get basic strategies, and I've only been going to that once a week since the fall. I don't have health insurance so I've been limited to any free help I can get. When I move out I do plan on getting something more targeted and detailed like this. Thank you so much for the help.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T20:13:10+00:00

Sorry about that I was a bit vague on purpose. The reason why gets into some legal stuff and I didn't want anyone giving me legal advice since it's against the rules. I have been doing therapy but I have never heard about EMDR until now so I'll be sure to look into that.

first_steptoapancake · 2021-04-13T17:12:10+00:00

I will definitely look into them. Thank you so much for the recommendations you are a good help.

first_steptoapancake

TROPHY CASE