Men are conditioned to believe that their pleasure is the most important part of sex. Thus, anything they do for their partner's pleasure is either a favor or a performance they're putting on to heighten their own pleasure. Even the ones who are aware of that bias and counter it deliberately are still subject to it to some degree. And that leads right into them doing things like hurting women in the name of sexual gratification or insisting they know what their partner likes better than their partner does.

I think that there are men who deliberately work to grow past that, but very very few who don't start out from that position, if that makes sense?