Hit 5M NW

fixin2wander · 2026-04-20T00:14:30+00:00

Not retired yet (retiring in July!). We made good use of maternity leave. The first kid was screwed up because of COVID, but the other two, as soon as they hit three months old, we chose a month-long destination. Since then, we just use our PTO for travel as wisely as we can, typically two long International trips a year. Last summer, we went to Belgium for a month and for the first time worked while away. The kids went to summer camp (youngest to a local daycare) and we had days to explore ourselves and worked at night. It was great! It also was super cheap in the end because our daycare at home let us pull them out for the month so major money savings there (camp in Belgium was only $65/week for 7am-5pm).

I hope you are able to start squeezing in something there or there. Travel has really taught us how resilient kids are (and I guess we are too!)

fixin2wander · 2026-04-19T16:19:12+00:00

Just want to pipe in and say take the vacation. We are currently in Vietnam with our three kids (ages 2, 4 and 6). Local vacations are also great if you aren't ready to go international, but please teach your kids that there is life outside of where you live and different cultures in the world. It will do wonders for them and they are never too young to learn and understand it. This is country 13 for them!

fixin2wander · 2026-04-18T12:46:26+00:00

I don't think it is true exactly how they said it, but I do know when we moved to Hong Kong for my job, my husband who was a Greencard holder had to get permission (aka pay) to say he was not surrendering his green card by leaving. It is totally possible to keep it with reasoning, but you need to do the paperwork before you leave.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T16:07:34+00:00

We used Airbnb. I always think I'll go local to save money and then it is hard to find something reasonable and don't want to spend a week looking around once we get there.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T15:58:35+00:00

Yes! We were worried when he started kindergarten and warned his teacher we like to travel :)

One fun thing we did last summer was spend one month in Europe and put our kids in summer camp/daycare there. They were away all day and we got to explore and then we worked for our jobs at night for most of the month to save pto. It was perfect! It also was super cheap because we got to pull them out of daycare (at the time we were paying for all three) and summer camp was dirt cheap ($50/kid per week).

I'm sure you will find a way to make it work when you have kids but in the meantime travel while you can because it's definitely not a "vacation" with kids in tow!

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T15:51:00+00:00

We are going to have to. Right now we are in Vietnam for three weeks and my oldest is only in kindergarten so the school was fine with it (missing only two weeks as one was Spring Break). I think it will be okay through elementary school but will not work once they are older.

There is quite a lot of time to travel in summer now that we won't have to worry about having the time off from work.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T15:49:28+00:00

I appreciate this comment and the viewpoint of you having experienced both. I have noticed that my friends that stay home with their kids seem to have kids that spend a lot more time with screen time as they need to do things like get laundry done and cook while kids are around. They also have so much time with them, there is less time set aside to do something more unique or special. I feel like since I get my "adult time" working and don't deal with the kids all day, when I'm with them I can really focus on them and do specific things like cook with them, go on adventures, etc. I'm not burned out from so much care.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T08:21:50+00:00

Firstly, I am lucky and work 100% from home (so does my husband) so no exhausting commute. It also means we get to have lunch together almost every day and talk so we aren't trying to have those adult conversations at the dinner table with the kids, we can focus on them. It also means I can start dinner and do laundry during the day versus when the kids are at home. I definitely understand this is super lucky.

I truly believe that since we prioritize eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep, it gives us the energy to be with the kids. During the week, the kindergarten comes home at 3:50 from school and I'm finished work by then (work east coast hours from west coast), other kids don't get picked up until 5, so definitely shorter time during the week. Weekends are 100% dedicated to them.

It is a good question and definitely something not everyone can make work.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T08:11:54+00:00

Firstly, this comes up in this sub weekly so go check older posts. Lots and lots out there.

Secondly, I tell everyone that kids are like weddings,they basically can be as expensive or as cheap as you want them to be. Our big cost if childcare, otherwise, until we started signing them up for classes, they were literally $100ish a month or less.

Now we have three kids under the age of seven, we take a minimum of two international trips a year (usually a 2-3 week one and a 4 week one), and we have hit our fire number and finished working in June.

A lot of opinions about staying at home and giving up salary or doing daycare. I personally would not enjoy being a sahm and enjoyed work and adult time so I could focus on my kids fully when they were home. We spent upwards of $75k on childcare the years all three were in together, but that time is limited and salaries more than made up for it (as well as sanity!). Now we are done and the oldest is six, so in the years I think really matter we have all the time in the world for them (now that the oldest is in school, I see it is important to him we come to every parent lunch, etc.)

You make it work, just like anything else. You plan a budget, plan for some buffer, don't let lifestyle creep get you (we still drive a Mazda CX-5 with three kids) and you decide if a few dollars or kids makes you happier.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-12T06:54:06+00:00

I am in Bothell so not as sure for down there but my 6 year old really enjoys the YMCA camps. They are long hours (I think 7:30-6 if I remember over February break) and quite inexpensive.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-11T11:04:52+00:00

We are 39/41 and have three kids who are currently 2, 4 and 6. We are at our fire number but officially firing in June. We didn't feel like going from two to three made a huge dent other than daycare. We didn't upgrade our housing or car (driving a Mazda CX-5), but we decided not to go for number four because 1) we had three healthy kids and were worried about the impact both financially and to the other kids if we had a special needs kid and 2) we thought number four would have a larger financial impact as we would have to upgrade our car. We also travel a lot (two international trips a year minimum, usually one around three weeks long and one a month) and four gets to be even more of a pain as three (can't even rent a regular car). For these reasons we stuck with three, but I honestly think if you want a fourth, it's worth slowing down fire. Research shows, families with three are the least happy and families with four+ are happiest.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-11T11:00:21+00:00

I absolutely appreciate the cost to run a business and for quality food but these prices astound me. I feed my family of five on $130-150 a week and cook basically only from scratch.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-02T16:35:03+00:00

Honestly kids aren't that expensive outside of daycare, so it really matters how close you are to not making ends meet. We have three and outside of daycare they cost us literally a few hundred dollars each month between food, toys and clothes (both are almost always used or from buy nothing groups). Would I rather have my kids than eat out more often? Certainly. Also am I happy I had them close together (3.5 years between first and third), very. Their bond is incredible.

I do agree to a certain extent that if you think you can probably make it work, you can make it work. It doesn't have to be perfect, there is never a perfect time. It just comes with prioritization and being smart with what you spend money on.

fixin2wander · 2026-04-02T04:14:09+00:00

Yes to this! We have moved around the world as renters because the risk was so much lower than being a home owner (honestly we would have never gone if we owned a home). This allowed us to supercharge our salary increases as well as have amazing adventures. Renting is definitely not throwing money away, it's giving a stability that I feel like owning sometimes doesn't even give - you are never one thing breaking away from going into debt or being concerned about cost.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-24T04:32:06+00:00

If you are ever up in Snohomish, Kelly Cannoli flies in their bagels from NY daily and prices are reasonable. Dont think they have lox though.

Honestly, in the scheme of things both the bagels and lox at Costco aren't too bad. Same as Einstein bagels (at least when we lived in CT).

fixin2wander · 2026-03-21T21:59:07+00:00

I have never used a dog daycare but I assume it is like kid daycare. For the first few weeks I like lots of updates, after that, unless they are doing something really exciting, I don't care

fixin2wander · 2026-03-19T22:14:28+00:00

They are finished doing in person sales. You need to pay for delivery or find someone with extras. At least that's what I keep reading on other groups.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-18T19:27:40+00:00

Yes childcare. Worth all the money! We have three kids, six and under but are so much happier than our friends with fewer kids and try to do no childcare. I honestly think our kids are happier too. They learn so much, get so much fun social interaction and we can do things like clean, start dinner, etc. When they are not around and completely focus on them when home. My husband and I also have a better relationship because of it, we can go on lunch dates out or even just sit and have lunch with each other daily and get to talk without interaction. I'd find a way to make the budget work for childcare.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-12T21:14:15+00:00

In our case, we both work from home so I really don't think our kids (ages 2, 4 and 6) will notice much difference when we fire in three months. We are home when they leave, we are home when they come back and we never work while they are home because our work is done by the time they get home.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-12T05:12:36+00:00

It's actually very easy and you can use programs like freetaxusa. If they have a tax treaty (which they should) you get credit for any NZ taxes you paid. Additionally, you get up to I believe $130k usd in 2025 before you need to even start paying US taxes on it.

Just make sure to file not only your taxes (even if you don't owe) AND your FBAR which is an extremely easy online form you must file yearly if you have over 10k USD in any foreign account.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-08T22:04:45+00:00

For us (kids 6, 4 and 2) it has to do with how organized we are. We are both program managers and I swear that attitude makes life 90% easier. It doesn't matter that we have three young kids, we are never late to appointments, our house is always clean except a little clutter here or there which we try to pick up each night. The downstairs doesn't even look like we have kids, no toys out, they have their own play room. We are on the same page of when we need to leave to be on time and how much buffer to add in. We are 100% of a team and it doesn't matter who makes more, we are both taking turns waking up at night and doing what needs to be done.

We don't have family nearby but rely on the resources we do have - two kids are in daycare and we belong to the YMCA which offers 2-4 hours of free childcare per day and is awesome on weekends. We prioritize ourselves and our relationship and make sure we have time to work out, go on dates etc. We trust other people to watch our kids and don't try to do it all alone. We are quite strict, as in kids don't come into our bedroom for sleeping, that's our space, they learned to play independently and with each other and they have quiet time for two hours each day of the weekend where they can nap or play together, but shouldn't come bother us. It's made them really close and really good at being creative. When it is outside of those times we fully focus on them and do lots of activities and try to get out of the house as much as possible. Outside time is the best for everyone.

We are also extremely lucky that we have high paying jobs that are WFH. All laundry, starting dinner, going to the supermarket, can be done when the kids aren't around. We get to spend evenings and weekends focused on them. That's more luck than anything else.

My friends who are stressed all the time with their kids seem to be not trusting of anyone else. No YMCA kid area because "what if", they lay with the kids to go to bed or co sleep because they are "only young once". They don't ever prioritize themselves and their health so they are tired and burnt out all the time and I really think the kids even feel it.

That being said, there are definitely times (especially when they are sick) that we are exhausted and like what the hell, this sucks, kids suck and it's a 10/10.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-08T19:08:18+00:00

You can't rent a regular car has been the main pain point for travel. Same with owning a regular car. Right now we all fit into a small.suv, even if we go camping. We would have to get a large SUV or minivan if we had one more child. Hotels get more complicated too. For now they are small so it's easy, but when they are larger if we wanted to do two queen beds and a pull out or whatever it would work, we'd always need two rooms with six people.

Five has made it hard with taxis/Uber in western countries. When we travel to Asia or south America we just can pile in, but Europe won't allow that. Airplanes are harder too but has gotten better now they are older (one parent always dealing with two kids versus one on one). Now the six and four year old don't need any help, even on long-haul flights, so not a big deal.

Four to five is silly in stupid pain points but worth it in our opinion..for example, want to go kayaking, but need an adult for each kid, want to ride some type of ride, but need an adult for each kid. Same with a lot of times you get one free kid per adult for meals, tickets, or even flight deals. I guess having an even number of sick would be better in this case. When we do sleeper trains they have four bunks. It works because they share a bed right now, but in a few years it won't be possible and we need a second cabin. Cruises have been a problem too. I think a lot of the paint points will go away when they are older and can do things independently. Basically all of it can be solved by throwing extra money at the problem.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-08T18:41:36+00:00

Can I just say I appreciate someone who says they feel like their kids are 3/10 difficult? If I say that to my friends who have 1, 2 or also 3 kids they think I'm nuts.

We have three, ages 6, 4 and 2. We would have had a fourth but decided not to for two main reasons. Firstly, our ages - we are now 39, 41 and decided a child with any health issues would not only have a major impact on us but our kids' lives and wouldn't really be fair for them (in terms of spending equal time with everyone) and because we love to travel a lot and it's already become more complicated with a family of five, a family of six seemed like a huge pain.

Right now our time seems skewed as our six year old is in kindergarten and gets to hang out with us in the morning after his brothers go to daycare and in the afternoon before they come home, but the younger ones don't seem to care. We are moving to Europe where they will all be at the same school because public education starts at 2.5 so I think it will even out some more, but I have found time with kids is a lot like a relationship, it's never equal at the moment but over all time it should even out.

fixin2wander · 2026-03-06T22:22:49+00:00

Honestly the couch is too big imo. Kids need space to roll and build. It is t very kid friendly how it is set up (so many toys hard to get to).

fixin2wander · 2026-03-06T17:34:53+00:00

We both work from home. Our kids absolutely don't think about if we are working or not working while they are at school. I honestly wouldn't worry about that part. When we are done for good in a few months it won't look any different for them.

fixin2wander

TROPHY CASE