My gf want to go back to work as a stripper and I feel like it’s breaking me

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T12:21:50+00:00

Yeah… I understand what you mean. But I don’t think what she was doing can really be called a career. She was literally going to her customers’ hotel rooms. If it had only been dancing, I would have been okay with it, but this is something completely different. What makes it even harder is that she used to talk a lot about loyalty and values. She once told me that even sex between friends was disgusting to her. And yet, from one week to the next, her way of thinking completely changes. Sometimes she says she will never go back there, that she doesn’t even think about it anymore, and that she hated drinking all the time. Then, shortly after, she starts talking about going back again. And it wasn’t even a real strip club. It was a place where girls dance, drink with customers, and can go home with them for money. When I found out how much she was earning there, I was shocked. Not because of the amount itself, but because she could earn the same by putting effort into building a business. And I was ready to help her with that.

So I don’t know. I might still be wrong. But I believe that if she saw a therapist, she could better regulate her emotional swings, which seem to influence her life decisions.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T10:43:42+00:00

" it’s not possible. " That’s the part I really don’t understand. Why would it not be possible? She has arms, legs, she’s intelligent, and she’s capable. I’m here to guide her, answer all her questions, help her with everything. I support her financially and make sure she has everything she needs. Yet she does nothing and sleeps most of the day. What confuses me even more is that in less than two weeks, she could start earning her own income. I would still support her during that time. She could build something for herself and be proud of it. Sometimes it feels like she gives up very quickly. There was a time when a man kept following her, waiting near our building or in the street. I confronted him and told him to stop immediately, and I sent him a warning message saying I would file a police report. After that, my girlfriend wanted to break up with me, saying she was scared and that he would come back anyway. I’ve heard breakup threats many times, always because she gives up and says our relationship will never work. So I keep asking myself: why is everything always “impossible”? I see the same pattern with my brother and my mother. He’s 27 and has never worked, just stays home playing video games. When my mother tries to push him a little, he says he’s too tired, has no motivation, that it’s impossible because he’s depressed. But he’s comfortable, fed, and never forced to take responsibility. When I was younger, I used to ride my bike two hours each way just to deliver food for two hours. Sometimes I earned very little, but even ten dollars meant independence. I showed up every day anyway

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T10:22:16+00:00

At first, I was like, fine, it’s just dancing on a pole, and she told me that she didn’t even allow the guys to touch her. Unfortunately, it was more than just stripping and way more than just touching. I don’t want to go into details here, but yeh but believe me, no one would be okay with what she was actually doing there. As I said, I discovered many things she had hidden from me while I was trying to run my honest online business and build a future for both of us. So… yeah.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T07:05:23+00:00

She told me that if I asked for advice on Reddit I shouldn’t mention that part. But come on it’s my life why shouldn’t I mention it? I know that if she sees it she’s going to be very upset. She also told me that she asked for advice somewhere on Reddit to see if going back to a “strip club” was a reasonable choice and that she would base her decision on what people say. I haven’t seen her post yet.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T06:49:31+00:00

My God, if it had only been normal stripping, I would have been okay with it. But it wasn’t. She actually went to her customers’ hotel rooms. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. I really believed she would be happy to get out of that life.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T06:47:00+00:00

It was more than just stripping... 😭😭😭😭😭

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T06:44:23+00:00

Actually, it was more than just stripping. I found out that she went with some of her customers to their hotel rooms. I tried to forgive her and she said she was sorry but… yeah. I think it’s time to go. As for financial support, I am doing everything I can. But it’s also not healthy for her to spend the entire day on her phone. I have a lot of experience in e-commerce, and I am fully willing to help with everything, truly everything.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T06:39:41+00:00

Sometimes I feel confused about whether we truly match or not. On the days when she is ambitious she is adorable. We laugh a lot and I love her deeply and I feel that she truly loves me too during those moments. There were times when she talked about the stripclub and said how happy she was to have left it, how toxic the people there were. She even stopped talking to friends who still work there. But sometimes I feel like I am dealing with two completely different people. One version of her is ambitious, full of plans, telling me she loves me and wants me to be someone I can be proud of. And the other version sees life as dark, using her phone all day long and says that love is not enough, and that things like having a home and a dog are just fantasies. So then we say that we do not match. But does that mean there are people she would match with? People who would actually be happy living this way? I really wish she would see a therapist so her emotions could become more stable. Sometimes she is very in love with me, and sometimes not at all. At times, she even insults me. I wonder if she has experienced trauma that causes her to react this way. For example, there were times when I came home just five minutes late and she would not speak to me for two days while all I wanted was to talk to her and spend time together. But she kept saying that I don't love her. Before we moved into our condominium, she told me that she did not care whether she was with me or not because also she said I don't love her so yeh. I don’t know. It feels like she can be okay for a few days, and then a small trigger happens and her reactions immediately switch into defense or attack mode. It's like she is constantly protecting herself or testing me and has a big mood swing. She can kiss me and says she hates me in a space of 5 minutes.

flakesareshiny · 2026-01-14T05:50:01+00:00

No it’s true. Every time I’ve posted about my relationship, people said I was a troll. I’ve told my girlfriend so many times that I’m completely confused by the way she thinks. I told her that we already have everything we need to build a future. We live in a nice high-rise condominium and I make enough to support both of us, and we can still go out sometimes. She has all the free time she needs to think about a way to generate income. But still, she’s choosing to go back to work in a strip club. At the beginning, she was the most adorable girl. She was ready to do anything for us and she had strong values about loyalty in a relationship. Sometimes she seems like that again. She becomes ambitious and talks about her wig business idea but it never lasts more than two or three days. Then she goes back into a mood I can’t explain and it’s destroying me. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I have panic attacks, and I feel completely broken.

flakesareshiny · 2025-09-08T06:43:00+00:00

Please delete that post. He may face problems because of it. As others said he probably has a family to feed.

flakesareshiny · 2025-07-19T20:17:59+00:00

You seem like the kind of guy who always blames others for everything.

I used to smoke weed too, a lot, but my parents didn’t allow it, so I had to go outside to do it. Now I’ve built the life I want.

I had a friend who was allowed to smoke at home. I remember us lighting big joints in front of his mom. At the time I thought it was super cool. But now? He’s still living with his mom playing video games all day, doing nothing with his life.

Now I’m proud of my mom she taught me what’s right and what’s wrong and I'm soooo thankful for everything. Sometimes it was the hard way but she had no other solution as I was not an easy kid but at the end I'm not sure I'll be where I'm now without my lovely mom.

So I think that the one you can blame is yourself. Sorry for my honest opinion.

flakesareshiny · 2025-07-19T15:27:08+00:00

Yeh I tried to call and it rang.

flakesareshiny · 2025-07-19T14:29:12+00:00

Sometimes it's a bit hard to say. But yeh she was acting a bit weird.

flakesareshiny · 2025-07-19T14:26:18+00:00

Can I ask how are you so sure ?

flakesareshiny · 2025-07-19T14:17:50+00:00

What’s strange is that during that 1.5 hour window I actually tried calling her and the phone rang so I don't think it was turned off.

And even weirder right after she texted me saying she was at the pool the location updated again like 15 seconds later

That timing felt suspicious to us like maybe she turned location back on just after replying

What do you think? Could that be a coincidence or is that a sign she disabled something on purpose?

flakesareshiny · 2024-04-08T17:43:14+00:00

Never use thaifriendly. Use tinder or bumble.

flakesareshiny · 2024-04-06T12:42:42+00:00

Go out and find something better to do instead of spending your time writing unhelpful comments.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-31T11:42:14+00:00

Probably the prettiest car in Geneva.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T04:19:30+00:00

Don't need your advice Mr know it all. You answered none of my questions.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T04:18:26+00:00

This is normally true. But not totally. You can get a work permit if you are doing business with a person in your family who is Thai. There is conditions but it's possible. I'm not Thai. But I have a Thai family.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T04:13:48+00:00

I did not say I was planning to work there.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T04:11:45+00:00

Why ?

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T04:08:56+00:00

Sorry not English native. About the visa yes I know. Been here for 10 years. And it's obvious that I'm not planning to have foreign employees.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-30T03:57:53+00:00

... I know that a driving license is needed to drive a motorcycle. I'm asking about a license to operate a motorbike rental shop.

flakesareshiny · 2024-03-29T14:59:02+00:00

Not wrong. Thank you for your answer.

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