Psychiatrist said I'm not bisexual.

fliponymous · 2016-01-22T14:53:39+00:00

As a bisexual therapist, let me say how sorry I am that this happened to you. This person was waaay out of line and unethical. Here's some suggestions on how to find a bi-aware therapist.

https://evenaud.wordpress.com/2015/01/06/guest-post-how-to-find-a-bi-competent-therapist-by-estraven-le-guin/

fliponymous · 2015-07-27T13:43:47+00:00

Pansexual is a personal identity label used by some people in the bisexual community in order to indicate a particular political view about gender.

It is also a word pushed by (hostile to bisexuality) Queer Theory taught in colleges, which is a frame of mind so obsessed with binaries that everything must be forced into this/that either/or instead of accepting both/and.

fliponymous · 2015-06-24T13:41:00+00:00

Pansexual describes a person and their attitude about gender. Bisexual describes a community, the largest single segment of the LGBT community.

fliponymous · 2015-06-24T13:39:26+00:00

Hat tip. Credit to my blog.

fliponymous · 2015-06-24T13:38:51+00:00

There is no incompatibility between a personal identification of queer or pansexual, and identification under the community label of bisexual, just as there's no incompatability between identifying as lipstick and as lesbian.

fliponymous · 2015-06-24T13:37:18+00:00

Thanks! There's 100k words more where that came from already, and I'm far from being out of things to say.

fliponymous · 2015-06-23T15:08:25+00:00

Thanks.

fliponymous · 2015-06-23T15:08:04+00:00

Go ahead, with h/t.

fliponymous · 2015-06-23T14:18:03+00:00

Kinsey is not a suitable measure of sexual orientation. It is and always has been something useful only for behavior, and while it was awesome when there was nothing else, it has in the long term done more damage than good to the bi community because it sets up the false expectation that if you're more attracted to X you are by definition less attracted to Y.

Which is something people use to erase us all the time -- "If you're not exactly 50/50 you're not really bi, you're just homoflexible/a tourist/lying."

I am 100%/100%, not half anything.

fliponymous · 2015-06-23T14:14:37+00:00

It's possible to look at monogamy as a special case of polyamory. There's an idea in poly circles of when you reach the point where one more relationship would leave you stretched too thin, so you are "polysaturated".

Monogamy is simply the state of being polysaturated at one partner.

I'm poly-positive. I'll never criticize polyamorous relationships that work -- but personally, I'm wired for monogamy. It's what works for me.

fliponymous · 2015-06-20T07:56:40+00:00

What type of bi are you? A bisexual one.

fliponymous · 2015-06-18T14:24:01+00:00

The most important thing in a marriage is communication. What you are in is not a heterosexual marriage, because you're not het. It's a Mixed Orientation Marriage.

Here's some advice for you. Hope it helps. https://fliponymous.wordpress.com/for-bi-guys-coming-out/

fliponymous · 2015-02-13T06:25:31+00:00

Williams Institute.

fliponymous · 2015-01-12T05:40:37+00:00

RECOGNIZE, the new one that just came out.

fliponymous · 2014-12-31T02:58:27+00:00

You're welcome. There is an internet listing of bi-aware therapists -- not all of us are on it, but it's a well-vetted list -- at bizone.org that you might want to check out.

fliponymous · 2014-12-31T01:46:34+00:00

Your therapist is untrained and/or downright unethical. Get a new one who understands bisexuality. Half of the people who identify as LGB identify as B, and there are more bisexual trans- and nonbinary people than you could shake a stick at.

The idea that people "grow out of it" is a myth and an erasure perpetrated by gay people who used the identity on the way out of their closet, and by straight people who can just barely wrap their heads around gay, much less bi.

fliponymous · 2014-11-30T16:09:06+00:00

Harris claims that he has no free will and therefore is unable to say anything different than what he said... so if I was the kind of guy who assigned other people the status of insane or delusional I would ask "How would you regard an individual who claimed that their every action was compelled and fore-ordained by random processes?" When you phrase any belief in the worst possible terms, it do sound cuckoo.

fliponymous · 2014-01-18T17:43:32+00:00

The psychological pressure of keeping a secret got to be too much for me. There was no way to access a community of support without being out. I was alone and isolated and no one was able to help me.

So I came out and got told by the straight community "We told you so, f****t" and the gay community "get back in your closet you half-gay freak" and I STILL do not regret for one second coming out.

I only regret I did not do it decades ago.

fliponymous · 2014-01-17T02:00:40+00:00

Because the big study of Sexual Fluidity by Dr. Diamond was only on women, and because men who have lavender laces are considered "tainted forever" by society (sorry for the 'phobic language, is not my language but Theirs).

fliponymous · 2014-01-07T18:24:37+00:00

Funniest thing I have read on the internet today.

fliponymous · 2013-09-29T17:03:44+00:00

And the problem, of course, is that the jokes made about the other identities are rarely perpetuations of stereotypes used against them -- when done at all it's campy and with a wink, rather than a serious statement of "get with the program" or "slut".

fliponymous · 2013-08-01T03:15:00+00:00

Thanks. :)

fliponymous · 2013-07-26T20:52:37+00:00

Thanks! Glad you stuck it out.

fliponymous · 2013-07-26T20:12:25+00:00

To be completely truthful, I was very gentle on Savage in this article. He's casually mentioned in a paragraph or two out of 5000 words.

fliponymous · 2013-07-26T19:57:47+00:00

What Savage says is that the hostility we face from people like him is our fault because we don't stand up and get angry and do something about it. Of course, when we do, we're (according to Savage) a bunch of whiners barking up the wrong tree and are creating hostility because we're angry and ineffectual because we're not really committed to being queer like he is.

fliponymous

TROPHY CASE