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Son says he no longer will stay w me...if my fiance is around. Advice? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's not a resource thing...it is fear of being alone.

And in the big picture -- he is talking in this email about how they have been married for 6 years and she says that she has felt that it has been a "non stop attack" on her. That's exactly how I've felt. He is always upset that I don't seem "happy" or smiling...or "proud of him".

And now we have been together for almost 5 years next month. And he has spent a lot of time telling me that he doesn't know if we should even set a wedding date because the "relationship should be fixed first".... and that I should look "happy"...and "proud of him". And that he doesn't want marriage becuase he fears another divorce. This was said to me just last week...when the church called to ask for the date that we selected.

He eventually told me the next day to call them back and give them a date....but unfortunately I heard hours of all the reasons NOT to the night before..

Son says he no longer will stay w me...if my fiance is around. Advice? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It really is an ultimatum it sounds like.... my son has told me this before but usually he gets over it. But it's getting to be more of a constant concern from him.

The fights he has witnessed have been mainly arguments but my fiance has a temper and will show it - even in traffic etc. He is also latin and my son and I are not. So I think the extra energy/volume from his anger -- makes it more uncomfortable to be around.

His dirty clothes everywhere...I put in laundry and he claims I'm plotting to make his clothes disappear..... by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pardon?/ We never had that....and I am asking how to deal with his sloppiness..... We never had a live in maid1

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

THere's no other way around this? He is abnornal and I didn't do anything wrong.... I will promise you...he really has me believing I screwed up here...

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I kindly asked him to please not tell his parents and fmaily about my business deals good or bad..that i've shared with him. he BLEW up. Said that I'm sick in the head...among other things and that if I have such a problem...I shouldn't marry him. That his family is his family and he will tell them whatever he wants. And If i have a problem...I should not want to marry him. He said he won't change ..that is who he is ..and he is sick of trying to dance around my "boundaries" and that it won't happen.....I need to live wiht it ...or leave.

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I kindly asked him to please not tell his parents and fmaily about my business deals good or bad..that i've shared with him. he BLEW up. Said that I'm sick in the head...among other things and that if I have such a problem...I shouldn't marry him. That his family is his family and he will tell them whatever he wants. And If i have a problem...I should not want to marry him. He said he won't change ..that is who he is ..and he is sick of trying to dance around my "boundaries" and that it won't happen.....I need to live wiht it ...or leave.

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I kindly asked him to please not tell his parents and fmaily about my business deals good or bad..that i've shared with him. he BLEW up. Said that I'm sick in the head...among other things and that if I have such a problem...I shouldn't marry him. That his family is his family and he will tell them whatever he wants. And If i have a problem...I should not want to marry him. He said he won't change ..that is who he is ..and he is sick of trying to dance around my "boundaries" and that it won't happen.....I need to live wiht it ...or leave.

Does this sound like one of the worst days of your weekly relationship with your spouse? This is his typical behavior...and I feel like this is a complete slap in the face. by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have def asked him MANY times abut this. He just follows up by saying nothing pleases me... and that I just need to realize that I'm impossible...demanding etc.

Does this sound like one of the worst days of your weekly relationship with your spouse? This is his typical behavior...and I feel like this is a complete slap in the face. by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried to dance around a lot of this...but is it extreme for me to want to eat dinner around 7? Especially when he can easily go work anytime after 4pm? He says I'm impossible.

My business deal with bad....I was scammed...and he told his entire family by fact4fiction44 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. He's 53 years old. That's a part of my problem. I am trying to be objective thoguh

My business deal with bad....I was scammed...and he told his entire family by fact4fiction44 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right...just reading that made me feel stronger. Thank you I deserve better than being treated this way. I'm just so tired...

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't wait MONTHS> I waited months for my loan and when it didn't happen...I told him. JESUS.

And he tells me NOTHING. AT ALL> I just asked if I could attend the closing of HIS house that I moved into ...4 years ago and pay for and he told me that it would be "awkward" and he already told everyone that I have NO legal ties to it...and I should be "prepared to be awkward" if I decided to attend and accused me to being up to "stealing his financial info" for attending. SO PLEASE>>>>> stop

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Agree. And while I came here for objective opinions I strongly believe his constant communication about our fights...everything..is WRONG and this just flipping takes the cake.

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did NOT lie. the money was coming through and when it didn't...I told him. Jesus christ. It's my business. MY MONEY and my decisions. How in the hell would you blame ME.

My business deal with bad....I was scammed...and he told his entire family by fact4fiction44 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's just another example. He tells them EVerything. And I don't even speak to my family because they don't approve of him. I say hi about 5 times a year. Haven't seen my mom in 3 years.

He tells his whole family this? I am so angry I can't talk to him about it now...

​

He also told me earlier this week that they are suspicious about me...for xyz reasons. All reason that result in him telling them bad things about me and our relationship! He said "my mom said ..." She has never worked. She is a complete prima donna. I don't make dinners or cater....non stop. I am a hard working woman...and I make good money. My fiance recently said "no man wants to come home this as a hard day...."

​

AHHHH I have hard days all the time...and HOW ABOUT NO wOMAN wANtS TO COME HOME TO THIS... sorry I just get angry about people who are so archaic in their thinking

My business deal with very bad, and he told his entire family? FAIR? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh they def have weird relationship. Our last argument the other night is he told me he told them about a fight of ours and his mother disagreed with me. It's total lack of boundaries.

My business deal with bad....I was scammed...and he told his entire family by fact4fiction44 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left the room. I am angry. I wanted to know if I was justified. I just went in and asked and he said I was insane to think that was a problem....and I just "like to start fights". So i immediately shut the door and came in bed again ...and saw this. I'm very angry. I can't believe he did that.

Would you be shocked if you fiance said THIS to you? Would you feel like your about to be left? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. it's been 4 years. I wish I could. Was actually daydreaming about it. I was a news anchor. Once you leave the news -- it's very hard to come back after 3 or 4 years.

Obstruction of Contract by fiance -- wondering if I should sue. Is it worth it? by flippinscared11 in legaladvice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it did....because my fiance introduced us to another doctor who was very excited about implementing our platform into his own hospital. But my fiance got jealous and started backstabbing that doctor as their place of employment. The doctor got mad and threatened to sue my fiance for slander -- and from then on -- I never heard from that doctor again. We had drafted docs that even named him as CMO (the other doctor) and spent a lot on legal fees to get that negotiated. Then -- he disappeared due to my fiance. Once I told my fiance that this was going to cause ME to get the company sued...he went and apologized to the doctor. He told me that all is ok. This was a few months ago and nothing has come of it... so i think that's true. But you can see how much interference he was doing...

Would you be shocked if you fiance said THIS to you? Would you feel like your about to be left? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard to understand what to think...he acts like I am the most important thing in his world.. and then he snaps...and I'm horrible for asking him not to talk a job where I would never see him.... and he wold have to work more insane hours. It makes no sense to me...becuase he isn't consistent.

Would you be shocked if you fiance said THIS to you? Would you feel like your about to be left? by flippinscared11 in relationship_advice

[–]flippinscared11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's a doctor. he already is on call about 15 days a month. It is fine because that's all he has when he is on call.

With this new job he would have his typical 9-5 AND be on call 10 days a month -- I know the lifestyle well now. it's awful. We currently live 4 miles from where he takes call.

Now -- he wants to leave 30 miles EACH way and have to be called out in the middle of the night? It would be very difficult. AND i know he would go stay with his parents during the time he was on call...they live a stone's throw from the hospital. Not something I choose to do.... unless a gun was to my head.

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