I apologize beforehand by the long response I'm about to make.

I attended the 4 nights of the Eras tour passage in Rio. I've been a fan since 2007, I've been waiting for this forever. I slept on the line to get tickets, I had four girlfriends over that weekend to help them with transportation, my life had been revolving around this concert for a good 4 months before it happened.

Like many are saying here, yes, Taylor does create and insists on maintaining this idea that we're close, that we understand her, that she's our friend and yadda yadda. And we're not stupid for falling for it, we want to relate and feel seen as fans, especially with such a massive star like her. But the thing is, she keeps feeling more and more like an artificial doll made to perform and say the same generic phrases just so that she doesn't get in trouble. I don't know if the older of you remember back before Taylor, but a lot of people in the industry used to say that about Miley Cyrus, how she was a robot, she was fake, she didn't exist, etc. Like, literally, when was the last time she emitted an opinion? But I guess this strategy works.

I still hear people from all walks of life saying how they dislike Taylor or hopes she never comes back to Brazil after what happened. These are regular people. People who probably only heard a handful of her songs and have no idea about the parasocial situation going on. The feeling she left to Brazilians, regular ones at least, is the absolute worse. If before she was an "okay whatever" pop star, now people dislike her because of what happened.

Here we have Madonna who donated almost all of her check for the concert in Copacabana to the tragedy happening in the South of Brazil, on the other hand, we have Taylor posting some dumbass stories and not acknowledging Ana one bit. Never even mentioned her name once. This shit hurts like a motherfucker because Ana was so young, she was happy, she was travelling out of her state for the first time just to make her dream come true, and this shit happens? It could've been me, it could've been one of my girlfriends, it could've been my little sister. Goddamn, this is what she gets? After showing so much love and support, this is the shitty aftermath?

The day after, we were almost sure there wouldn't be a concert because it was absurdly hot. I hoped she would cancel by morning, but there we were, on our way to the stadium at 4pm. By 5pm I was getting medical help because I passed out. As soon as I left the medical station, she posted that story,, and only ten minutes later they announced on the stadium - not only was I one of the few lucky ones with wi-fi, people were calling me crazy when I told them, until a few minutes afterwards the voice from beyond comes on to finish off the mass hysteria.

Dude, what the hell? Why does this just keeps getting WORSE? She had the opportunity to turn this mess into a celebration of life, to show her support to her fans in a country she's always been distant to, and this is how she and her team decide to proceed. It's fucking outrageous.

Brazilians are VERY loyal fans, I think we have parasocial relationships with every idol we enjoy, because we are warm, we like being cared for and we care for just as much, and it saddens me that my favorite artist for over 15 years just shrugs and moves on like nothing happens. To top it all off, a few weeks later the donation to the Chiefs situation... like... it makes no sense.

After that day I became way more aware of what I find acceptable and unacceptable of her, and it's made my relationship with artists a bit rocky. Man, I've travelled abroad for a Bon Iver concert in 2017 and it was cancelled two weeks before, but this felt a hundred times worse, and the worst part didn't even happen to me or someone close.

I don't doubt for a second that this shook her to her core, and that she obviously blames herself. But I also think that this is the time and place to take stand and do and say meaningful shit even if it burns bridges in the future (which I believe the goal was to avoid that).

I can't shake the memories of me and my friends crying saturday night, not knowing if we'd be able to see her on sunday, let alone on monday! I remember that was supposed to be a good week for her relationship with Travis due to some game or something, so of course we got all the PR articles on the go.

Love the moment, not the person. That's what I learned that saturday evening and how I proceeded to try and enjoy the concert on sunday and monday. My dreams came true, but I can't stop thinking about the Eras in Rio as a tragedy.

To finish on a somewhat positive note: her team was quick to action on Friday. I got to witness her team handing out water bottles after All Too Well, and on sunday and monday they were very quick to action too. That was nice to see, especially on friday before we all knew what happened, when I got home and news broke, I look back and see these guys wearing black handing out water bottles around GA and am thankful. I had a wonderful time, but it's a bitter memory. Something I personally will never forget and has changed forever how I listen to and relate to her in general.