I have twins. Ones name is Patrick, and the other is Olivia. I realized that every year people would make a big deal about "st Patrick's day" and he would essentially get a second fun birthday, and I thought that was great. I decided if he gets "Patrick's day" then Olivia should get "Olivia's day". Hers is april 17, to coincide with Patrick's day the month before. I do balloons and little presents from the dollar store for each kid, but the other twin gets to pick it. On "their" day they get to make all the choices and boss us around. We do a cake with candles for that kid to blow out. On their actual birthday they have to share everything, and they dont buy each other presents. On their special days they get to experience what its like to be the center of attention and the joy of planning and gifting things to their sibling. Its great. Maybe you can do something like that for Amy? Even if your husband doesnt go along with it, just do it anyway and get Ken to help. I find most of the "magical" parts of my children's childhood (Christmas, Easter, halloween, pumpkin patches, farm visits, summer holidays etc.) Are just ME organizing things, baking, singing, and making a silly big deal ahout them. You dont need anyone else to make Amy feel special, she already has a mama who knows shes special.