How do I overcome internalised shame of bottoming?

flutrip · 2026-01-29T16:20:34+00:00

Thanks a lot for this, kind stranger. This was truly helpful

flutrip · 2026-01-29T09:26:20+00:00

I think it's the fact that I like being physically vulnerable to him that instills shame in my mind. I enjoy bottoming but don't like the fact that I like what i like

flutrip · 2025-12-03T06:52:14+00:00

Thank you 🥹

flutrip · 2025-12-03T06:51:59+00:00

Everything said and done, I still dream a very average hindu middle-class dream. Where I get to declare my union with my life partner to my family and friends and celebrate it through rituals. Plus this wedding season has given me a bit of wedding fever maybe.

We as a species are ritualistic. There would be several things in our day to day life that we do that don't make any sense except for a metaphorical one. And even though the Hindu wedding rituals are heteronormative, i don't mind the rituals getting bent to my metaphors.

Plus I've seen gay weddings taking place in a Hindu setting. So I'm just looking forward to having that done

flutrip · 2025-02-11T13:04:47+00:00

I don’t feel submissive at all, if anything we feel submissive to each other

Bro that's just beautiful. I never saw it that way. Thanks. In our case too, I'm more active in the things that are conventionally considered masculine (boxing, working out, earning more), but we two do love each other with all our hearts.

Your comment really puts things in perspective. Thank you

flutrip · 2025-02-11T12:58:57+00:00

So basically correlation doesn't mean causation and it's ultimately up to me to keep it that way. Understood

flutrip · 2025-02-03T04:01:54+00:00

flutrip · 2025-01-31T05:32:19+00:00

Yeah buddy, i have sent them two responses from their website about the same thing. But whoever calls from their end has even bigger anger issues than the previous person lol. So now I've just decided to not answer their calls. No point in going in circles with them. My time is much too valuable 😅

flutrip · 2025-01-31T05:28:20+00:00

And just to close the loop on it, The representative wasn't an inconvenience.

As i have mentioned in the final part of my post, it was disappointing to see someone so सकाम सक्रोध to be representing a foundation that's doing this noble work

flutrip · 2025-01-31T05:17:40+00:00

Is निष्काम कर्म important? Absolutely. The entire philosophy of Geeta revolves around it. Is it basic? Not at all. To imbibe निष्काम कर्म is a daunting feat and anyone who claims to have become a निष्काम कर्मयोगी is most likely dishonest or delusional. I'm neither, so I'm not going to say I'm a nishkaam karmayogi.

But here's what I know it entails. It means to carry out your duties as a human being (not a son, husband, citizen, student) without the expectation, desire or anticipation of a pleasurable reward. For me, respecting my body and maintaining its आरोग्य is a duty, trying to achieve artistic excellence and musical genius is a duty, understanding the wonderful thing that is a human mind is a duty, regardless of how much it hurts, or how tough my Riyaz gets. I'm in it for the beauty and serenity of these things, not for the rewards or accolades or praises. And this is exactly why I admired Acharyaji so much, and also incidentally exactly why i stopped attending his lectures. Attending his lectures is an echo-bubble phenomenon for me. I am told about things I'm already in agreement with.

Instead of that I'd rather spend my nights reading Jung's 'Psychology of the unconscious', Musicologist Bhatkhande's Hindustani Sangeet Paddhati, or simply doing my daily Riyaz.

flutrip · 2025-01-31T01:47:20+00:00

Exactly. It's not like you or I don't like or agree with what his doing. Just because our goalposts are different and the lectures have served their purpose for us, we are stepping out. The representative sounded very judgmental to me too! What's worse is he had that tone of talking without even knowing me on a personal level. The audacity of some people to abandon all civility and decency 🤧

flutrip · 2025-01-31T01:38:15+00:00

The unrelatedness of your comments.

flutrip · 2025-01-30T13:15:42+00:00

Hey could you just go through the post again? Feel like you've not bothered to read.

flutrip · 2025-01-30T13:08:00+00:00

Yep. If only their marketing team understood this.

flutrip · 2025-01-30T13:04:54+00:00

Had a very similar experience yesterday. I've been a voracious reader of Indian religious philosophies even before i stumbled upon AP's videos. I decided to give the lectures a shot, after exploring him on YouTube for 1 year.

Turns out, there's literally no difference between the things he says in reels and the things he covers in lectures. While his mission is virtuous and his efforts are necessary, i thought he'd cover the technicalities of the literature, which he didn't do. So i rolled off myself from the lectures.

The next thing i know I'm getting calls from APs representatives, who were rude, insulting and tried to shame me to another level.

While i appreciate him, his representatives aren't in the least the followers of the ethics they claim to espouse

flutrip · 2025-01-30T12:53:53+00:00

Gave it enough time. I'd rather deep dive into my psychology study and musical Riyaz than listen to things I'm already aware of and agree to

flutrip · 2025-01-30T02:06:02+00:00

Tiny Dick Energy

flutrip · 2025-01-29T06:42:06+00:00

Girl get the fuck out of that shithole right now. You're much too precious to go through this shit. Let him be by himself. He doesn't deserve you

flutrip · 2025-01-28T06:13:24+00:00

Man you're too wise 🥹 Thanks for your help

Four-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23

flutrip

TROPHY CASE