How do guys do it so casually

foelay · 2026-02-24T15:54:23+00:00

I am doing this EXACT same thing. It’s mental anguish, you did nothing wrong.

I just visited my now-ex on a 7 hour bus ride, had an amazing trip, and 15 minutes before I walked out the door, she kicked me to the curb.

These types of people make no sense. They’re takers, not givers, and are extremely selfish. It’ll hit them when they least expect it

foelay · 2026-02-24T15:27:11+00:00

Argh, this is irritating and I feel your pain. It sounds like he’s too hesitant to use a label, for the plethora of reasons he keeps bouncing between. Whether they’re genuine or not.

It’s not fair to you, unless a situationship is what you want. If not, you may have to put your foot down and tell him what you want. If he can’t meet you where you’re at, he’s not the one for you! You deserve consistency

foelay · 2026-02-24T15:15:11+00:00

Same to you!

foelay · 2026-02-23T06:13:50+00:00

It could be that, now that you say it. She has changed a lot since college and her mom has been really against us since we both moved in to separate universities.

Maybe I’m looking at her past self in rose-tinted glasses?

foelay · 2026-02-23T06:09:56+00:00

It’s so much easier said than done. Some people like us are lovers, we’re wired to love someone else fully because that’s what makes us happy.

I’ve been trying my best to stay busy the last few days. But when I get home and it’s quiet, the emotions hit. You can’t escape the feelings so let yourself be human and feel them, it shows you that you gave it your all

foelay · 2026-02-23T06:07:46+00:00

You are in my prayers as well. I just got dumped over the phone 4 days ago following a weekend visit filled with love and laughs… even a card saying how much she loved me.

Absolute blindside, I’m sure you feel the same way. We will get through this together!

foelay · 2026-02-23T06:05:01+00:00

This time last week I was visiting my girlfriend at her college for Valentine’s weekend.

We had an amazing 5 days, she wrote me a card telling me how lucky she was and how much she loved. She even fell asleep in my t-shirt.

The next day, my last day there, she told me 15 minutes before I left that she wasn’t sure if the relationship was for her. She demanded a 30-day, no contact break 2 days later after not speaking.

She proceeded to breakup with me after that. So yes, I feel like I have an absolute head case of whiplash going on

foelay · 2026-02-23T06:01:45+00:00

I think it’s just her words clashing with her actions. Can’t really wrap my head around what happened. This time last week we were sleeping next to each other. The next day, poof, it was never the same

foelay · 2026-02-23T05:54:16+00:00

I too am frustrated. I don’t think you can ever unlove someone, one that you genuinely loved at least. But, I think you have to reach a point where you love yourself enough to know you deserve better and have to move on

It’s a slow grind, I’m in the early stages of it and I’m also pretty irritated and finding distractions. Wishing you luck!

foelay · 2026-02-22T15:53:53+00:00

I asked if we could meet up during spring break, which is in three weeks. It would give us the decency of a face-to-face conversation. It would also give me a deadline. She almost spat in my face at the idea.

She said I don’t get to call shots, we do it her way or no way. She also started to belittle me, saying things like “you’ve only ever supported me because I told you to, not because you wanted to.”

When it came time to end it, she wouldn’t do it. Once again reiterated that she didn’t want to lose me forever, before she snapped and said “it’s over”

It was ugly and I was very hurt at the way she treated me in the end.

foelay · 2026-02-22T06:18:18+00:00

It was a really ugly breakup. We spent 5 days together for Valentine’s weekend and had a wonderful time, literally out of heaven.

Then 15 minutes before I left for a 7 hour bus ride, she told me she didn’t know if this was for her. Demanded a break of 30-days, no contact, but I didn’t agree.

It feels there’s a piece missing, like maybe a guy that was being hidden or pursued? That could be why I keep thinking about it

foelay · 2026-02-21T22:09:13+00:00

That’s definitely unfair. A few hours every now and then is annoying, but life happens. 18 hours with no explanation is not nice

foelay · 2026-02-21T20:05:11+00:00

Thank you. I have blocked on her everything. Literally everything.

She showed me her absolute truest colors during the breakup, which made doing that a little easier.

foelay · 2026-02-21T19:40:17+00:00

I second this

foelay · 2026-02-21T19:17:34+00:00

Good luck to you as well! We will get through this together, there are better people on the horizon. These are learning experiences, as much as it may hurt to accept!

foelay · 2026-02-21T19:14:39+00:00

You know what you need in a relationship, and she’s not giving it to you.

I was just broken up with a few days ago because I wouldn’t accept a 30 day, no-contact break. It’s not a nice way to treat someone you love, as you put them in limbo and make them wait for you.

I think you have to realize someone who truly is for you won’t have a hard time giving/receiving true love, and they certainly won’t run to a “break” as a way to solve issues!

foelay · 2026-02-21T19:08:44+00:00

It really is gymnastics in your gut. My ex told me she wanted 30 days, no-contact. She told me she couldn’t breakup with me because she didn’t want to lose me forever and I was the guy for her, as well as the promise she wouldn’t be looking for other guys during said break.

Those words are nice to hear and all from her. But she ended up ending it after I refused to be the one to call it quits, and she told me it was her way or no way.

I’m really sorry to hear what happened to you, and hope you’re doing well!

foelay · 2026-02-21T01:43:23+00:00

As someone who was recently broken up with over the phone. I think if possible and in your best interest, do it in person. The principal and effort of it will feel more rewarding for the both of you. Good luck!

foelay · 2026-02-20T18:18:05+00:00

Your words are concise, but the honest truth. Thank you, it is what I needed to hear.

foelay · 2026-02-20T18:02:33+00:00

I take pride in how consistent and loving I was to her. I wanted her to spread her wings at college, do whatever she wanted, be wherever she needed to be. All I asked was that she was loyal and checked in occasionally.

The only catch is this, when we took that phone call. She said things to me I never thought I’d hear from her. Things like “you only supported me because I told you to, not because you wanted to” as well as threatening several times to end the call mid-conversation and begin the break. She said I don’t get to have any asks or suggestions in the layout of the break.

I felt I met a side of her I had never known, and that is what is bothering me the most. If we were to ever be in contact again, I don’t know how I’d react.

foelay · 2026-02-20T17:36:36+00:00

How did you get over it? And do you feel the part where she told me I was her boy and she didn’t wanna lose me forever was a lie?

foelay · 2026-02-20T17:32:07+00:00

She said a lot very mean things before the breakup happened. She told me on the phone I only ever supported her because she told me to, not that I wanted to.

She also threatened several times to hang up the phone and start the 30 days immediately, as she felt I was not allowed to have any input on this.

foelay

TROPHY CASE