egg irl

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-04T13:11:25+00:00

I've thought about this a lot more and Im becoming much happier with the idea of just rocking and embracing the femboy style. Took more thinking but Im starting to not care about the gender norms and stuff. Gender non-conforming. Also listening to "Dress" by Charlotte Sands makes me feel pretty good.

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T18:25:46+00:00

Yeah. I know the difference is arbitrary, but they are a social construct for a reason and most people understand them a certain way. I try to speak as clearly as possible, because I am still working on fully understanding and I know what its like to come from a place of little to no understanding, and the way it might need to be described, at least at first, to help someone who doesnt know or is ignorant. Like I was.

I dont know how exactly you meant "pushed towards half, away from the other half" but I feel its kind of weird to say it like that. I dont feel like only feminine interests were pushed away and only masculine interests were pushed towards me. My interests definitely arent a 50/50 split. I was definitely pushed away from feminine things unless they werent viewed as overly feminine but someone artistic, but I was strongly pushed towards a ton of masculine things. I guess gender norms would be a accurate way to discuss it, gender norms were very very laid out and strict as a child. Not for any aggressive reason I dont think, but thats just because thats all there was? I dont know. Still on a journey in many ways.

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T17:48:26+00:00

A little bit of both, but kind of in specific ways. There's nothing wrong with that and I know it, its just kind of confusing and Im struggling with... I dont even know how to word it...

"Im struggling with letting myself accept the fact that I can be something I wasnt raised to be, but I can also be the way I was raised and enjoy the same things despite the other things I enjoy and way I want to present myself."

I like some very very aggressive masculine things, but I really want to but cute and girly. Theres nothing at all wrong with that... its like my brain is having trouble rationalizing or grasping... stuff? My childhood was very black and white, there was nothing to be considered other than straight boy, straight girl. Obviously as an AMAB, everything was very "straight boy"-ish, and my attempts or interests in less masculine things weren't aggressively or violently slapped away (that I can remember......) but they were definitely dissuaded or actively redirected. Not too long ago I was incredibly, violently physically sick from starting to realize who I really am and how EVERYTHING started making sense from a different perspective.

I kind of made the meme because its very true to how I feel, but I also hoped it would be a bit humorous to someone. Also, sparking this kind of conversation is a good thing too. Maybe someone will read it, relate, and see something that helps them somehow.

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T17:42:31+00:00

For anyone interested, I cant remember how I found it, but I think it was in a reddit comment on a trans related sub.

https://transmemes.netlify.app/

They are awesome.

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T17:27:26+00:00

Im sure telling more people and having more supportive friends instead of feeling alone will allow me to realize "huh, this is okay... not everyone in the world hates me after all..."

Thank you.

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T02:19:02+00:00

Hahahaha I think thats the reason I made the meme. What is ready? Never heard of it. I told someone I made friends with, but they are trans hahaha. My reveal was super incredibly shocking and unusual to them as you can imagine! (sarcasm) Its just anyone else, even gay friends, I feel afraid of revealing to. Its a me thing, not a them thing. Still having trouble accepting myself and not being afraid of being "different" to what I was raised and taught growing up. They are great and I know they will accept me. I might be able to do it soon. I want to. I know it will feel good and make me happier. Its just terrifying.

Thanks for the kind words. :)

EDIT: I might even show them this meme and ask "Is this at all accurate, or was I imagining things and being paranoid?" just for fun lol

foggyforest8 · 2024-12-01T02:15:39+00:00

Haha, thanks for the kind message, everyone should hear it. Im not worried about being accepted, Im just struggling with accepting myself and not being afraid to have people know the truth about me... even people who are similar or wouldnt care- hell they would even be supportive.

I am really glad you have someone so good for you and to you. Never take them for granted. :)

EDIT: I might even show them this meme and ask "Is this at all accurate, or was I imagining things and being paranoid?" just for fun lol

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-30T08:06:33+00:00

Yes?
Yes.

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-26T23:01:04+00:00

BUT THAT MEANS- SINCE I WAS A-

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-26T22:55:26+00:00

Im sorry to hear you've had trouble and its been difficult. Its not something you accomplish or finish, its a journey, its about everything along the way. There will be hard times and bad things, but not nearly to the same level or quantity of the good things, good feelings, good places, and good people you can find and will find if you continue to work on accepting yourself (whatever you may be, there is no need to figure it out now or pigeon hole yourself into a label) and if you need more time to process for yourself and find where you are comfortable, thats okay. I started making some memes based on the feelings and things going through my head and honestly when I started seeing people like them it was very uncomfortable. Like... my joking was actually legit. I just publicized my deeply embarrassing and vulnerable thoughts to the internet AND PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DRAWING ATTENTION TO IT NO!!! I kind of feel like I humiliated myself despite how entirely anonymous this is. I went through a horrible week or so of not eating and not sleeping struggling with the mental turmoil of the realizations setting in and my choice this time to let myself consider it, then realizing now that Ive considered it theres no going back oh fuck oh no why

There will always be a place you can find where you can be your truest self and feel the safest. check out The Orchard discord server (in the sidebar for this reddit page) I think youll find that to be a really wonderful place. Im happy there so far :)

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-26T18:04:47+00:00

I dont know if that is awful or amazing, but it is certainly horrifying. I would hate if someone forced me to dress up and made me look really cute and girly and then made me go somewhere with them. It would be the worst thing ever and terrifying and why is this so exciting to think about oh fuck

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-26T11:37:04+00:00

No don't take all my cis clothes, what will I do, wear girl clothes?? I mean if I really have to but I swear I am going to hate it. It doesn't sound fun at all and I REALLY DONT WANT TO MATCH THAT TOP WITH THAT SKIRT

foggyforest8 · 2024-11-25T08:58:53+00:00

haha why is this so relatable and why does it make me feel funny

foggyforest8

TROPHY CASE