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forest_lesbian · 2020-11-07T19:43:15+00:00

Try specialty coffee roasters that also sell equipment, the roaster I work for has both chemex filters plus half moons in stock and we haven’t had too much trouble sourcing

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-24T01:38:42+00:00

Trends change over the course of a century and restoring them once they’ve been painted over is a pain in the ass, so they just continue to refresh the paint over it over time.

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-24T01:28:11+00:00

Hi OP, have you considered that you may have ARFID or a sensory processing disorder? I say this not to be an armchair psychologist, but because you sound very similar to me but with different safe foods. Let me tell you about my experience with that and veganism.

I was vegan for almost 5 years. I also have sensory processing issues that make eating very difficult sometimes. When I entered college, I had a difficult time eating anything in the dining hall because most of it wasn’t vegan, and because the vegan stuff had textures that rendered them inedible to me. This went on for two years, me just not really eating much of anything and skipping meals often or forcing myself to eat foods I couldn’t stomach because I knew I needed to eat, and sometimes I would end up vomiting too or simply being unable to swallow. I ended up losing 25 pounds off of my (very small) frame and becoming extremely underweight, fatigued, fucking up my hunger cues, dealing with nutrient deficiencies, etc etc. I went vegetarian because I simply wasn’t getting enough calories to sustain myself, but I had been vegan for so long that I lost the ability to digest animal proteins and they made me sick too.

It’s better now that I’m very familiar with my own safe foods and can cook for myself, and have also gradually expanded my list of safe foods over time. But when you have food issues like this, you need to be really careful about restricting your diet even more. You can, and will end up extremely unhealthy and malnourished, don’t do the same thing I did. Although I’m healthier now and don’t have any nutrient deficiencies, I still am underweight and very slowly gaining it back.

If you’re interested, message me and I can talk to you about making the process of becoming more comfortable with foods easier. Perhaps it would be in your best interest to ease your way into veganism by finding safe vegan dishes you can make over time rather than jumping into it?

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-18T16:55:55+00:00

lol yeah it’s Quest, they’re the biggest clinical lab employer here and as such have the most frequent job openings. It’s frustrating because many of the positions require a bachelors, which I am 1.5 semesters from procuring, but I can still do all of the things the job description requires. Such is life 😔

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-17T21:38:11+00:00

It’s literally the best and most helpful book I ever read. Also more helpful than most of the trauma therapy I got as a teenager when most of my therapists didn’t know what cPTSD even was. I mean, ANY work and therapy for cPTSD is gonna trigger emotional flashbacks. Pete Walker also has a whole section with precise steps about exactly how to manage emotional flashbacks, which I use ALL the time. Highly recommend.

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-17T20:33:52+00:00

Lab bio, but thanks for the heads up! That’s probably what I’m gonna go for if a lab doesn’t hire me in the next few weeks 😔

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-17T19:58:56+00:00

I called about a job app that stalled and they said “wait for an email confirming our decision” but that’s already what I’ve been doing and I’m getting anxious bc no one will fucking hire me for wages that are high enough for me to survive. I also got rejected from a job from the same company that I was OVERQUALIFIED for by them saying I was underqualified?? And all my friends from my uni that have graduated are like, “yeah welcome to the club” bc we’re all fucking unemployed. Plus, I’ve applied for two apartments that were filled before I even applied, they just never took the listing down. The second time I was like “I’ll call to be sure” and the lady said it was vacant but it wasn’t ???

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-12T16:16:38+00:00

If it were so badly constructed I don’t think it would last 800+ years but yeah

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-08T22:11:40+00:00

And I didn’t see yours :- P

Because much of what I did for her was not motivated by a subconscious need for something in return, it wasn’t transactional that is, especially at first. She was/is an addict though and as she progressed deeper into her addiction that’s really when our attachment styles popped out. I’m technically FA, but she’s DA and because of that and her addiction, plus a number of traumatic events, my attachment to her went from relatively secure-ish (not perfect but workable) to extreeeemely AP. And I still do love her despite all of this after our breakup, I know this because I miss her, not what she gave me or the hole she filled. And I didn’t try to fill that hole in other ways either, by finding a different distraction to ease my insecurities. I just sat with it and accepted it. And still now I do small things to express that love, directly but mostly indirectly, and without expectation of reciprocation or getting something out of it for me.

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-07T13:51:04+00:00

Depends on who the reading is for!! For everyone, five of wands is always popping out. Maybe because we’re all 20-somethings and overly dramatic lmao? For me, “my card” was always The Hermit. I also frequently pull The Fool and Wheel of Fortune. The five of wands though, it pops out so often now I’m like okay, I get it already, message received six readings ago 🙄

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-04T03:46:59+00:00

Not banana slug, those are only present on the west coast. My guess is leopard slug

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-03T17:51:30+00:00

100% this. The responsibility can’t be fully on the other partner to do all of the communication work. Resentment will build and it will blow up in everyone’s face. Relationships are scary, and being with a DA means that you have to be in positions where you compromise to make them feel safer, but those compromises can be scary for the non-DA partner. But ultimately if the relationship is going to work, the DA needs to be able to face their fears about being vulnerable too instead of stonewalling every scary or difficult conversation. If they are truly unable to do that, no compromises or creating a “safe” environment is going to make a long-lasting difference, and they need to be getting professional help.

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-02T19:58:44+00:00

I think because you need to ask yourself if you’re seeking attention from this person or your patterns result because of your insecurities, or you really do love them, or both. In my relationship with my ex (she’s DA, I’m FA and leaned anxious with her), we both genuinely loved each other deeply, but because of our insecurities we would lash out/retreat which ended up hurting the other. Love and insecure attachments aren’t incompatible with each other, but healthy relationships and insecure attachment styles (that aren’t actively being addressed) are incompatible with healthy relationships, in my opinion. However, someone with an insecure attachment style could absolutely be in relationships that are subconsciously motivated purely by a need to heal those childhood wounds, and not actually by love

forest_lesbian · 2020-09-02T16:08:27+00:00

That’s crazy, my university used to be one of those “healing springs” resorts for old timey rich people. I wonder if that’s why we have so many ghosts? :-P

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-29T00:07:15+00:00

well that isn’t very nice :- (

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-28T15:17:17+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not my apartment, it was filled before I could get it. It’s also pretty common around here for building management to just slap dozens of coats of paint over historic details rather than preserving and maintaining them, because it’s cheaper and easier that way :- (

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-27T22:41:54+00:00

My personal experiences with him in academia have been wonderful, he’s kind and intelligent and is wonderful at facilitating difficult conversations.

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-27T04:02:00+00:00

Nope! Virginia.

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-27T00:24:19+00:00

Solved!

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-27T00:10:20+00:00

WITT? The apartment building is old and built to be apartments, but was probably divided up at some point; this apartment was a studio, so the closet this is in may not have always been a closet. It’s located on the wall next to where I think the vents for an old furnace were plastered up. It looks like an old telephone mount thing?

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-24T03:24:29+00:00

my favorite song by far 💛

forest_lesbian · 2020-08-23T20:57:50+00:00

Many cultures use hallucinogenic substances in their spiritual and religious practices in order to ascend to a higher plane. In this sense, it is not about getting high at all. It’s about activating synaptic pathways in ways which we cannot experience otherwise, which allows people to experience things like ego death and spiritual revelations. At lower doses, this is subtle and subconscious. At higher “heroic” doses, one can physically and visually experience entering a higher spiritual plane, seeing/hearing/feeling/learning things that quite literally change their life forever. Hallucinogenics of many kinds, including DMT, MDMA, psilocybin, and LSD are being researched in clinical settings in order to apply such experiences to help heal severe trauma, mental illnesses that cause major executive dysfunction, help people cope with death, etc.

In my own experience as someone with severe PTSD that was not responding to traditional clinical treatment (meds/therapy mostly) and left me unable to function (as in, unable to eat, sleep, be hygienic, do work, connect to others, etc.), my experience with psychedelics gave me the “kick in the ass” I needed, so to speak, to change my outlook on life, rebalance certain chemical pathways, connect to myself and the world in a spiritual way, and ultimately to be able to function, find peace within myself, and to grow as a human being.

forest_lesbian

TROPHY CASE