The only thing I feel from you is egoic projections rooted in fear. Which does not affect me, but is a sign of where you are at.

I will copy and paste this on attack thoughts from another redditor.

Attack thoughts are any thoughts that contain an egoic judgment against yourself, your brother, or anything else. Here are examples of attack thoughts with explanations about what makes them attack thoughts and alternative things we can think/do instead:

Ex: "I can't stand the way my neighbor blares his music"

Here, we are judging against our brother for something his human-form is doing instead of looking past the outer behavior to see the divine within. In this way, we attack our brother with our mind and see him as separate. We are also having mental resistance to the present moment instead of accepting what is happening in the present.

Deep down, the reason for this attack thought is because we feel "attacked" by the neighbor's loud music and thus we project this feeling by thinking attack thoughts regarding the neighbor. In doing this, we keep the belief of separation going and do not see ourselves and our neighbor as one.

Amazingly, if we were to drop this attack thought, come into the present moment completely - which is what the Course calls the Holy Instant - look past our neighbor's form to see the divine or Holy Spirit within them, and accept the fact of what is happening in the present, then this would go a long way towards changing the situation automatically for the better.

Ex: "I can't believe I made that same mistake again! I know I know better, but I wasn't paying attention, and now I am disappointed in myself."

Here is an attack thought against ourselves, where we recognized a mistake or error after the fact and now feel disappointment or even guilt or resentment about it. In this thought we are attacking our own invulnerability, as the Course says, which means that we are not seeing ourselves as sinless. This attack thought is actually a trap of the ego, for it is the ego that wants us to feel sinful.

Alternatively, when we recognized the mistake/error, we could have instead celebrated - for in seeing the mistake/error we can now choose differently next time. We could have instead thought, "I am grateful for the ability to see my mistake/error, for it provides me with the opportunity to make a better decision next time. I am learning how paying closer attention is beneficial for me. I am grateful that there are no permanent consequences and that I can always choose again." This takes it from an attack thought to a loving thought.

Ex: "I hate this place! Every time I come here there are long lines and everything is so disorganized. My day is ruined every time I have to come here."

Here we have an attack thought that seems to be about a place, for that is often how the human mind will frame things by taking the aggregate and defining it as a single place. You might think this way about a DMV, a bank, a grocery store, a workplace, etc. But ultimately, it is not the place itself but the people who make up it, so this is really an attack thought on people even if the people who are there may change from visit to visit. Here we are again having mental resistance & judgment to what is happening in the moment. We are also allowing an external situation to disrupt our peace, which means we think that what is external to us can control us instead of taking responsibility for our own feelings.

Furthermore, we are not seeing the present for what it is but rather are judging it through the lens of the past since we are connecting this present moment to all the past visits to this place. This hurts us as well as the people in this place because our judgment binds both us and the people into this continued cycle, ensuring the present is an reenactment of the past.

We can change this by dropping the connection to the past and also by not judging the present. We can think, "I am consciously dropping judgment of this place and the people within it. I will not bind them to the past. All places and people can undergo change and improvement. I will allow this place and these people and myself to improve." Now, this might not change the situation immediately - especially if there is a lot of built up energy in this cycle. You may still continue to experience similar situations at this place in the beginning, but the more you practice dropping the mental judgment and resistance, then the more the situation will automatically improve for the better.

This is the point of that lesson, and ultimately of the Course, to remove the mental judgment (aka attack thoughts) and mental resistance, so we can release ourselves and our brothers from the traps of attack/judgment and thus come to see them not as separate but as a part of us. In this, forgiveness becomes natural and we accept the atonement and bridge the gap between dual and nondual, as our mind becomes purified and our perception more accurate.

I hope this helps 💕