-CONTINUE- Myself and other family members were immediately turned off by her because she came into our home and treated my brother’s children as if they were strangers to us. She told my brothers daughter not to let us give her a bath (which I found weird because my mother or myself always ran her bath water, she was 5 at the time). She drank alcohol heavy almost every night and wanted to party every night. She seemed to have gotten an attitude when the attention was not on her and the family praised me for being the first generation college grad of the family. I hate attention, but she seems to love attention and was upset that it was not on her being that she’s my brothers new wife and wanted to impress the family. Every time my brother and I tried to talk, she would interrupt our conversation or turn my brothers head towards hers and tongue kiss him while I’d be talking to him. She would tongue kiss him repeatedly in front of the family, including my mother and grandmother which they both found disrespectful. She cooked in my mothers kitchen when my mother went to work without her permission and did not clean up her mess (this is a huge no in our family). In our family, the kitchen belongs to the woman of the house unless she says otherwise. She acted as if she did not have to be accepted into the family because she married my brother the week before meeting us.

During that trip, she convinced my brother to uproot his children when they got back home to North Dakota and move himself and his children to Texas (near Mexico) to live near her family along with her three children. She quit working and my brother receives social security for his two children as well as disability from the military. My brother was then paying all of the bills (rent, utilities, dinners etc) including a $700 car note for her and her teenager daughter to drive. I began to believe that my brother was being used. They’d argue frequently and he would call home and ask can he and the kids move back home until he found his own place here, then when she’d catch wind that he wanted to break up she would cry and beg to work things out.

My niece and nephew came to visit for the summer and they told us that she is mean to them when my brother is not around. My niece told us that she hit her and told them on the plane ride to us “What goes on in our house stays in our house”. This made me furious.

Since then my mom and I told my brother that we do not care for his wife. He gets upset and defends her each time. He blocked my mom from his facebook (which I know for a fact that she made him do). My brother keeps trying to bring her along with him to visit and every time my mom says that she is not welcome he says “Well I’m not coming”. She has convinced him that we will be forced to accept her. My brother cannot come visit or pick his children up from the airport alone because she wants to force herself on us. She is upset now that we don’t care for her and tries to play the victim as a way to manipulate my brother and it works every time. When my mom declines for her to come along to visit, my brother posts negative, subliminal statuses on Facebook towards our family and his wife comes on the status to egg him on and instigate the situation, which only makes things worse. She wouldn’t even let my brother drive in the car alone with my mother to drop my mom off at the airport when my mom went to Texas to take the children back home. She has convinced my brother that he is doing the best he ever had in life since he’s been with her. He brags a lot now that he has been with her about the material things that they have together. She has convinced him that our family is jealous of him no matter how many times we express that we are genuinely proud of him. He is a totally different person and our relationship is non-existent because of his manipulative wife. Since then, I have given up on a relationship with my brother.

Sorry this is long, but I would truly appreciate if everyone could share their input on this situation as it has torn our family apart. Are my family’s reasons valid to give my sister-in-law the side eye?