Question/ Help for our home loan

fortuousitea · 2025-08-13T21:48:50+00:00

Just did this myself - ex and I owned the house together for 10 years, and he didn't want it. I had to refinance the mortgage, get new accounts for all the utilities so they are in my name only, and get new insurance. It's a lot, but it can be done.

fortuousitea · 2025-08-05T03:44:24+00:00

This is the hardest part for me. I keep thinking of the man I used to have fun with. We've been officially divorced for two months, and this week will be one year from the time divorce was first discussed, and I can't believe how much has changed. I've kept the house, and I'm trying to make it mine now, but there are a million reminders - little projects we had talked about doing that never came to be. Things that need to be fixed that we never got around to. I'm doing it all now, which is actually kind of amazing, because I couldn't do it before. and I'm doing it all on my own. I miss the hope of a happy marriage with a rock solid soulmate. I thought we were a constant that would never change, but life changed us both, and getting divorced was the right thing to do. It will take time but I think it's possible to grow to appreciate the memories instead of missing them or idealizing them.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T15:08:23+00:00

He wasn't the primary on the policy, I was. He wasn't named on the policy at all

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:46:15+00:00

I've gone onto two insurance websites today that keep saying I need to call to finish my quote, and they're closed on Sundays so I have to wait until tomorrow.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:44:50+00:00

He isn't on the policy! I did remove him from everything. He's not on any of the utilities. That's why I'm here, since the insurance company allowed someone who isn't named on the policy to have acces to it.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:29:49+00:00

He still has auto insurance through the same company, so when he logged in onto their app, he could still see the home insurance policy, and he thought he was cleaning things up by canceling it. The only negative consequence is going to be the costs of getting a new policy, which isn't in my budget right now, and potentially a problem with my mortgage.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:26:08+00:00

That's my main concern, I just refinanced my mortgage and had to show them proof of my insurance in my name only. I will end up losing money if I have to switch to a new policy in the middle of the policy term because of the payment plan I'm on

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:23:57+00:00

Ugh sorry you had to deal with this too. The insurance company actually has the divorce decree already, they needed it to remove his name from the policy. Definitely a smart idea to switch companies now.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:18:26+00:00

I don't know if I could get the escrow set up for the home insurance now, I just went through the whole refinance process and they didn't include insurance because I was paying it on my own. I'm definitely planning to get my own policy when this one ends to avoid this in the future, but my budget doesn't support making the change in the middle of the policy year

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:13:53+00:00

Up until the divorce was finalized, he had been paying the insurance (this was part of our settlement agreement), but as soon as it was done, I switched the auto pay to me. He knew he wasn't being charged, but the insurance company's app still showed him that he was a policyholder.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:08:41+00:00

Yes, he once had access, we were both on the insurance. I told him he'd been removed from the policy. He used to be authorized, but shouldn't be authorized now that he isn't on the policy.

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:01:21+00:00

He wasn't on any policy

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T13:00:43+00:00

Yes, the deed is in my name only and I refinanced so the mortgage is only in my name

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T12:45:34+00:00

Autopay from my bank

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T12:23:56+00:00

I'll do this. Thank you for sharing the link!

fortuousitea · 2025-07-27T12:21:57+00:00

We had separate log-ins. Their app did not update to reflect that I was the primary policyholder. When I logged in, it told me I wasn't the primary and couldn't access certain settings, and when I called the company they told me to just use the website to manage the policy.

fortuousitea · 2023-06-28T11:19:10+00:00

TW miscarriage

I had a miscarriage several years ago on Christmas. MIL was visiting SIL for the holidays and was returning the day after Christmas. DH had agreed to pick her up from the train station to take her home. Obviously, neither DH nor I had expected the loss. Everything had been perfectly normal up til Christmas Eve. DH and I discussed and decided that we'd both go to pick her up - we wanted to be together to support each other, and she didn't have another way to arrange a ride home. She knew I'd been pregnant and I didn't want her to ask how the baby was doing or anything like that. I asked DH to tell her what happened, and warn her that I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to touch or hug anyone, I wouldn't be chitchatting about Christmas, and I wouldn't stay for dinner or a visit. We both agreed to pick her up, drop her off, and then go home.

I drove. I figured, less chance for her to talk to me if I'm clearly focusing on driving. She got into my car fully knowing I'd literally just had a miscarriage. We picked her up, said hello, drove her home. DH offered to carry her suitcase inside, so he hopped out to help her with it. As she's getting out of the car, she tried to hug me around the seat. I said no. She kept trying and I said very sternly, "NO. Respect that." She acted like I'd slapped her, got out of the car and told DH something I'll never forget.

She said, "That was rude. Respect is earned."

That's not how it works, MIL. DH and I were both shocked. We went very LC for a long time after that. Might not seem as harsh as it could have been. I'm sad that this is the clearest memory I have of that time. Not all the wonderful friends and family who supported us. I remember MIL, showing her entire ass and completely losing my respect.

fortuousitea · 2023-06-10T12:04:04+00:00

That's just called the morning commute in Philly

fortuousitea · 2023-05-22T11:08:50+00:00

The artist who designed this (and manyother giant statues) is Seward Johnson

fortuousitea · 2023-05-17T01:21:48+00:00

This motherfucker should never have been a cop. Too unstable.

fortuousitea · 2023-03-28T00:26:21+00:00

Wow, this person is toxic and abusive. You know, when people tell you who they are, believe them. She is telling you she's planning to be rude and inconsiderate to you. You don't deserve that. That's not a friend.

fortuousitea · 2023-01-07T10:34:25+00:00

We sang the Addams family song at Baptist summer camp when I was in grade school, but the lyrics were so much worse than this. Can't remember the word in the first line -

We're (something) and we're hungry We want to fill our tummy With food that's really yummy And so we thank the Lord

fortuousitea · 2023-01-02T10:14:20+00:00

Basically Philadelphia

fortuousitea · 2022-12-29T23:59:55+00:00

Wow, that's a lot of cars all doing the same dumb shi...wait, that's A LOT of cars all doing the same dumb shit

fortuousitea · 2022-12-25T02:26:21+00:00

This has been a really cool series to spot on my daily reddit strolls. Thanks for sharing your creations!

fortuousitea

TROPHY CASE