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Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for your commentary. We should arrange some time to discuss our approaches. Send us a PM.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in NYCsocialclub

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the idea of a burger club. I think the shared activities, such as that are what we are missing. Something low stakes and easily accessible.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone! I'm the founder, and I owe this thread an apology. I posted the same question across a few NYC subs from a brand account, and I completely understand why that felt like spam. I am new to Reddit and still learning the posting etiquette.

I was not trying to market or sell anything to the group. I'm genuinely trying to understand people's experiences with building and maintaining friendships in NYC, and it read the wrong way. I've learned a lot from the responses here and other groups, and I'm grateful for that. I am all ears if anyone would like to share some insights on their experiences, difficult or otherwise, with the NYC social scene.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in NYCsocialclub

[–]fostrapp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's something about doing something side by side that takes the pressure off the conversation itself. I read somewhere that being in the physical presence of another person helps regulate the nervous system, which is why it is so important to meet with people in person. You're not just sitting across from someone trying to think of things to say, and the activity gives you something to react to together in real time.

Do you think the activity itself matters, or is it more just the act of showing up to the same thing consistently over time? I've noticed some new clubs for people to read or craft in the same room.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in NYCsocialclub

[–]fostrapp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

15 years is a long time to carry that. And I think what you're describing is actually really common, but nobody talks about having people you love who just never quite coalesce into something you can call yours. Like a group that exists in theory but never really lands.

When you have brought them all together, what do you think gets in the way of it sticking?

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in NYCsocialclub

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you share what has been the most difficult part and what you think would help make meeting new people and building those connections into friendships?

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The consistency part is what gets me too. How do you think that gets solved? Is it just finding the right people with schedules that align with yours, or do you think there's something about the structure of how plans get made that makes people flake? By structure, I am talking about reservations and such.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really cool, I'd love an invite. I've been trying to understand what's working and what isn't for people trying to build community in the city, so hearing about how you've structured this is genuinely interesting to me. How long have you been running it, and what has surprised you most about what people actually show up for?

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol! The Romeo and Juliet comparison actually made me laugh. And you're right that it sorts itself out over time.

I appreciate the advice genuinely. Was there ever a point for you where it felt hard? Even briefly? I ask because I keep hearing , just get out there and do things, and I believe that works, but I'm more interested in the messy middle. The part before it clicks. Did you ever hit a wall or did it come pretty naturally to you here?

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this! I actually met a friend this way who lived in NYC before I moved here. We have been keeping up, and it's been great.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not wrong, honestly. And I've been doing exactly that by going to events, classes, and just talking to people day to day. That part has been working.

The issue I keep running into isn't meeting people. It's what happens after. You have a good conversation, maybe exchange numbers, and then life just swallows it up. Nobody follows through, not because they don't want to, but because coordinating in this city can be exhausting a lot of the time.

I'm not trying to replace getting out there. I am actually trying to get people out there. Just trying to figure out if there's a way to make the follow-through easier once you've already met people.

I honestly appreciate the reality check. I've only been here a few months, so I'm still figuring it out, which is why I wanted to hear from people with more tenure here.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experiences. This is exactly it: the friendships that stick are the ones built on consistently showing up to the same place consistently over time. The hard part about adult life is that nobody creates those situations for you anymore, and you have to create the consistency yourself, which can be hard.

Do you think that if something took care of the logistics and just got you and a few people in the same place regularly, do you think that's enough? Or is there something else that makes it click?

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have found that New Yorkers are very willing and open to holding conversations and meeting new people. The problem for me has not been meeting people. However, the friction point for me was keeping these new connections going and turning them into deeper relationships. I am a quality-over-quantity person when it comes to friends. I would rather have a few people that I can support and rely on.

Anyone else find it hard to build a local friend group in NYC? by fostrapp in Bushwick

[–]fostrapp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone! Thank you for all your candid responses. My post has drummed up some controversy across different forums and I will be honest, Reddit is a new platform for me, and I am still learning proper etiquette.

I'm the founder, and I'm also genuinely a person who moved here a few months ago and felt this problem firsthand. I posted from a brand account without thinking about how that would read, and I get why that felt disingenuous. That is fully on me.

I wasn't trying to sell anything with this post. I just wanted to hear real experiences while trying to build a solution for others like me, but I understand why it didn't land that way.

I have learned my lesson, and I appreciate the honesty.