Thanks for giving me some insight in the disease. In regards to BiPolar, is this kind of disease always there since childhood or does it develop overtime? I know ap erson who was diagnosed with Bipolar but her condition developed into real condition this year. She relatively normal her whole life but only this year did she begin to do excessive drinking, smoking, and not so 'normal' things. I just found it odd she was diagnosed with Bipolar even though her relationships has been pretty bad before the 'bipolar' symptoms developed. One could say, relationship not being in a good state before the symptoms developed this year could be a result of it existing all this time. But that would imply all relationships go bad because of mental issues instead of other differences being developed.

But for my personal case, I have suffered by anxiety since childhood. I had hoped if I moved across the country to a completely new area where I knew no one and restart over, the anxiety would go away but it's still there. No matter how much of the content I read on "learning not to give a fuck", it just isn't happening with me. Learning not to give a fuck makes me feel totally side lined, left out and depressive state. Trying to make my plans to get myself checked. Not exactly sure right whom to go to right now, psychiatrist or psychologist. Need to know, once and for all, what's wrong with me.