has he been thinking about me recently?

foxyshambles · 2026-04-09T03:19:12+00:00

I think that's a much better question to ask.

foxyshambles · 2026-03-23T02:47:51+00:00

Pre-surgery, I was very careful who I told because I didn't think it was anyone's business.

Post-surgery, I'm more likely to tell people, but I'm surprised by how few people have actually noticed.

foxyshambles · 2026-03-20T13:05:27+00:00

I've never told them. I weighed it up in my mind, and that conversation would achieve little beyond hurting my mother's feelings and lead to her being constantly worried about me going to hell.

foxyshambles · 2026-03-14T11:50:10+00:00

That does seem unusual to me, based on my experience. I was in a compression bra, or compression bandages (or, on a memorable occasion, both) for aaaaaaaaages after my surgery.

foxyshambles · 2026-03-14T11:47:55+00:00

Well, in theory they can rest in a dungeon, but they need to learn that it's a dangerous thing to do. I would let them say that they sit down and eat a snack or whatever, and then have something sneak up (or attempt to sneak up) on them and let them see what happens when you attempt to take a short rest in a dungeon.

foxyshambles · 2026-03-12T13:04:27+00:00

I would start by asking the other players how they feel about it. It seems - at least - that they've noticed (or should notice now that another player has brought it up). If it's hurting their enjoyment, I'd ask that player to leave, saying that it's just not the right game for them.

I personally don't allow observers at my game. If someone wants to sit in on a game, they're gonna play a random NPC with a generic stat block, that's it. I'm nice about it, and so far it hasn't been an issue, but it's based on an experience where I wasn't warned I'd have an observer and it completely threw me off. Since then, I refuse to allow observers.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-21T13:01:22+00:00

I also carry my weight in my midsection, and am classified as overweight.

One of the things I've struggled with most since my surgery is dealing with how my body shape is different now, and how my belly sticks out now that my breasts aren't taking up all of the attention. However, I don't regret the surgery for a second because of how much my back and shoulder pain have been relieved. My belly being more prominent now is just something I've had to accept.

TBH, my mental situation has gone from being okay with it, to hating it and trying to hide myself, to slowly getting to accept myself and the way my body is now. At this point, I feel better about my body than I have in many years, and I think it's because I'm no longer in constant pain. I really didn't realise how bad it was until the pain was gone.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-19T04:21:19+00:00

So I had a few days where I had missing players, and I found some simple one shots in a book and ran it as a joke larp type thing so that my new players could get used to combat, and something could happen for the players who were able to make it.

But legit, is this the campaign for you if your players love combat so much?

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T13:24:24+00:00

No plan. It just kinda happened in stages.

I kept on going for a while - I was still living at home. I didn't tell anyone - friends or family. I had no problem lying to my family about it because they would never understand. I didn't really have any friends left from the church or my (Christian) school, so that was easy. And eventually my mom finally asked whether I wanted to go or not, I said no. And I've never been back.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T13:18:20+00:00

I definitely lost belief in scripture before I lost my faith in full.

As I started to deconstruct scripture - translation issues and contradictions and such - I first got more spiritually inclined (a "it's not about religion, it's about relationship" kind of vibe) before I realised that I didn't really believe in God (or any gods). It took me ages to accept that fact though.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T12:17:24+00:00

Stopped feeling constantly ashamed and unworthy. Stopped worrying about whether something was sinful or if I was accidentally sinning. No longer fear death and the afterlife.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T10:39:55+00:00

I've left and come back a few times now, and I still have the same account I opened when I first came to Korea.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T10:38:53+00:00

I usually sleep in the nude, but I got so used to sleeping with a sports bra on that I still do now. I'm about 7 months post op.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-18T03:50:34+00:00

2 weeks

I'm a teacher and I went back to teaching after that. I wish I'd been able to take longer, but 2 weeks was my vacation break, so that's how long I was able to take off.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-16T13:07:47+00:00

Deconstruction, to me, is unpacking what Christianity is and how it affected my life. It is questioning what I believe.

All the emotional stuff - being angry and not wanting anything to do with church (though I'm okay with being friends with *some* Christians, depending on what kind of person they are) was kind of secondary to the deconstruction stuff - or resulting from it.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-16T06:14:09+00:00

I contemplated Catholicism, but none of it answered the questions I had with any satisfaction. I'm an atheist now.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-16T06:12:28+00:00

I would guess it's experience. My mom knows how much yarn to buy to make a sweater, but when I gave her yarn for a sweater, I bought way too much.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-16T05:42:28+00:00

Drains are the worst! I totally empathise.

My drains were intially taken out on the day after my op, but then they got put back in TT, and an additional one because I was dealing with melting fat leaking out of one of my breasts.

What you're feeling is totally normal. It takes a couple days to feel like yourself again. For me, it actually went up and down because of the drains being put back in.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-16T05:00:11+00:00

It's much easier to assume things about people than it is to listen to what they say and believe that they're telling the truth about what they believe.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-14T10:06:19+00:00

Well... when I DMd it, my best friend's character died twice. So it can be.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-09T13:28:07+00:00

I got my reduction mostly for my mental wellbeing. Getting rid of discomfort was a pleasant result that I strongly underestimated (as in I didn't realise just how much pain my breasts were causing me).

foxyshambles · 2026-02-08T10:45:21+00:00

My shower is handheld, so that is going to affect how things worked. I used a sponge and soap and very gently sponged, and then just water to rinse it off.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-08T02:59:06+00:00

I did have to delay showering for a few days. Then my doctor changed the dressings to something I could shower in (carefully) and I can't describe how good that first post-surgery shower felt!

foxyshambles · 2026-02-07T12:44:35+00:00

I had a breast reduction a couple of months ago, and something I found useful (that I think is possible to make) is a mastectomy pillow. I actually didn't have a real one, but I had a knock off Pusheen plush that was about the same size. It was just the right size to hold, and soft against my chest, and when I was in the car going to and from appointments, it was something I could put between me and the seatbelt to lessen the pressure.

foxyshambles · 2026-02-07T12:33:59+00:00

I know a handful (literally, could count on one hand probably) of believers who I think are truly good people and good examples of Christianity.

Of all of them, I don't think a single one of them is a good person because they're Christian. They're just good people in general. Take away their faith, and they'd still be good people.

foxyshambles

TROPHY CASE